Resolutions
by prlrocks
Summary: Post OOTP Severitus challenge WIP ; A mysterious event and visions of a past that can never be, change Harry and Snape’s life forever as they learn the truth that had been hidden from all. Snape & Lily
1. Mirror of Aislinn

**Title:**Resolutions  
**Author:** Prlrocks  
**Spoilers:** PS, COS, POA, GOF and OoTP  
**Rating:** I'll say PG-13 for now. It may later go up to R.  
**Summary:** A mysterious event and visions of a past that can never be, change Harry and Snape's lives forever as they learn the truth that had been hidden from all.  
**Ships:** Snape/Lily; Considering a ship (which will go nameless) for Harry. May or may not happen.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all characters associated with the books are property of J.K Rowling. I'm just writing this for the fun of it.  
**Notes:** This chapter is lots of setup. Hope it's not too boring. Feedback of any sort would be loved. Constructive criticism is more than ok, but please no flames.

* * *

The hall was bustling with activity by the time Severus Snape had swept through the door of 12 Grimmauld Place. An important meeting was about to take place, and there were many issues that needed to be dealt with. It didn't matter that it had only been three weeks since the incident at the Ministry of Magic. Much had changed in that time. Snape, himself, had a vital update about Voldemort's activities and was both anxious about and dreading its reveal. Within the next few minutes, every possible member of the Order of the Phoenix who could be here, was required to do so, and it seemed as though many had already arrived. A few, standing nearby, acknowledged his presence with a slight nod or smile. He did his best to reciprocate the greeting, but it didn't come easily to him. He had never been fully at ease in the company of most of these people, and Snape doubted he ever would be. That was so, even with him craving the recognition that most gave him, but they were not of his kind, no matter where his loyalties lay.

When the hall began to empty, he headed down the old set of stairs to the dim basement kitchen below. Here, some members had already taken their seats around the long wooden table and were in the mist of intense discussions on recent events. Not wanting to be bothered by their chats, Snape silently took his own seat by Dumbledore's side and waited for the meeting to begin. When at last, the final person they were waiting for entered and the door closed firmly behind them, all eyes turned to their leader, Albus Dumbledore, who was currently anything but his usual cheerful self.

"I thank you all for being here. I know these days are busy ones and we are all tired, but it is for that very reason, these meetings are so needed. To come together for a moment. To be aware of those around us. It is only working together, that we will ever bring this to an end."

He paused shortly, to allow his words to sink in and to take in those around him. "And I wish we could further talk pleasantries, but we can not. In the past two weeks, we've seen the grave harm that the Ministry's past reluctance in admitting Voldemort's return has caused. Though most of his old followers are now in the Ministry's hands, Voldemort is no weaker for it. He used his time well in the past year. Our hope that his desire to retrieve the prophecy would override the necessity to strengthen his forces, alas was false. He has. The dreadful acts committed in the wake of his existence becoming known are proof enough of that."

With a nod of the head, Dumbledore passed leading the conversation over to Snape. It was time to reveal what he knew. He gave no greeting, or thanks for their attendance as Dumbledore had. He felt it a waste and far from what they were here for. Nothing was needed, he told himself, besides the disclosure of cold hard facts he had entered with.

"Besides the Dementors and the Giants, _Werewolves…_ have also joined the Dark Lord's league."

Lupin slumped into his chair at these words. No one, who had heard the way Snape had said Werewolf, would dare doubt Snape's anger and disgust over the subject. It had been spoken with such contempt, many were shocked to see Lupin hadn't run from the room as though he were Neville Longbottom, himself.

"I also have it on good information," Snape went on, his tone much lightened, "the Vampires will soon be joining them and that even an attempt at using the House-elves is being made.

"House-elves," Bill Weasley scoffed. "You can't believe that?"

From the amused sound from several in the room, Snape knew Weasley wasn't the only one questioning that. Crossing his arms across his chest, he narrowed his eyes on the redheaded young man. "Why, yes, I do." A taunting sneer came to his face. "And though, I'm sure your personal exposure to House-elves is _limited,_ I thought you might like to know for the next time a House-elf offers you tea. It _might_ be _poisoned."_

"The House-elves could never-"

With the wave of a hand Dumbledore hushed them both. "It's something we must consider. Even if they're not willing, they could be used and though sadly they do not follow their own free will, they are powerful creatures. And we must remember, many of the families who'd possess an elf are the same ones who'll lend their hand into Voldemort's efforts."

The room was hauntingly silent, as all comprehended the implication behind this. So much of the very foundation of Wizarding society would be upset if such a plan came into being. It was bad enough one couldn't trust regular folks around, but House-elves? Just one badly motivated House-elf making its way into an institute like Hogwarts and the results could get ugly.

"What else have you for us, Severus?"

Far more, but it was an unpleasant subject for Snape, just as the Werewolves must had been for Lupin. He'd much prefer going back to talking about the damage those creatures, which had nothing to do with him, were causing in the Muggle communities, but the necessity of this information being known was clear. "With his Death Eaters in Azkaban, the Dark Lord has begun recruiting new followers. Like before, he is turning to the young and some, like before, are still students."

Molly Weasley, whose eyes went wide as saucers, looked particularly startled by this news. "What about the other children?" She exclaimed excitingly. "When they go back to Hogwarts… Ron, Ginny, Harry? Are they safe?" The news was far worse than the potential of some rogue House-elves any day, in her mind.

"Of course they are Molly," her husband countered lightly, though he too looked concerned.

"Hogwarts is one of the safest institutions in all of Europe, Mrs. Weasley," Minerva McGonagall said sternly. She didn't like someone doubting the Hogwarts staff's ability to care for the children. "It'll be open, as always, come September with extra precautions in place."

"Hogwarts has gotten use to eventful school years with Harry attending," Dumbledore added, eyes twinkling. He gave them a warm reassuring smile before taking a serious tone again. "And we'll keep an eye on those who are at the most risk for being recruited, doing our best to advise and guide them. Severus, in particular, will be helpful with that."

Snape's snapped his head up at the Headmaster's words. He understood completely what _that _meant. Dumbledore expected most, if all of his Slytherin house, to go to the Dark Lord's side. Like before… like him. No matter how much truth may be behind it, he could not stand for it being said. "You speak as though being a Slytherin makes one _bound_ for his service," he snarled angrily.

"No," Dumbledore answered softly. "However most of the ones who's families followed Voldemort, are likely to do so themselves. It's the choice of each individual what they become, of course, but I'm not blind to the reality of what is likely to happen."

"Which have turned?" Moody forcefully asked, trying to turn the conversation back to what he considered the issue at hand.

"Malfoy. The boy is too trusting of me, very un-Slytherin like of him," Snape snickered. "His father would be much displeased if he found out. It's how I learned of these new recruitments. Promises were made to the sons of all his Death Eaters. Their father's recovery in exchange of their loyalty."

"Do you think this was planned?"

"It's likely," Dumbledore stated, answering Moody's question. "It would have been quite a victory for him to not only learn the full prophecy, but gain a fresh league of supporters as well. He knows fully the old will return to his side should they escape. Is Malfoy the only one?"

"I assume Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. Where Draco is, they are sure to follow. Otherwise, I don't know yet. Perhaps Nott, though the boy won't be so eager." He hoped. "That is all I've learned," Snape finished, yearning for the conclusion of this topic.

"Tonks?"

"With all the attacks, the Ministry is strained for resources and it's hard to know whom to trust. There are rumors the Imperius curse is in use again."

* * *

Three hours and much debate later, the even more exhausted members of the Order filed back up the stairs to the hall. Most were quiet. The somber feel of this dismal place was ever consuming. First, the death of one of their own, the master of the house Sirius Black and now the start of what had already been coined the second war. It was hard to bear, yet all knew the darkest days were ahead. 

Remus Lupin was among those in the crowd. Upon seeing that Dumbledore was at last free from a discussion with several other members, he worked his way over to him.

"May I have a word with you?"

"Of course. What's on your mind, Remus?"

"Harry, he's written, but I don't believe he's as fine as he claims. Not even close. Are you sure-" Lupin ceased he's own question, knowing the answer and feeling guilty for having bothered Dumbledore about it again. But he couldn't help it. He hated knowing Harry suffered and for whatever the reason, could not leave that place, which caused him so much misery. At least, not until after his birthday.

"No," Dumbledore sighed wearily, knowing just as well what Remus was asking. "I'm afraid not. It'll only be a few weeks and then he can return here, but I do know something you can do for him."

"Yes?"

"Come back to Hogwarts."

Lupin's face filled with shock. "What about the Ministry? I still am what I am and they'll never accept that, especially after the recent developments."

"Don't worry about them… or the Order. With the appending situation, they are already distracted and Fudge is still nursing his own wounds. I'm sure, I'll be able to convince them to grant you permission to return to Hogwarts and Harry needs you. By helping him, you'd be helping our cause more than you'd ever know." Lupin seemed speechless, but nodded approval.

"Good," Dumbledore smiled in return and patted him on the back for support. "You look tired."

Lupin nodded again and said his goodbyes so he could head upstairs to his room. On his way up he passed the young Ginny Weasley carrying a large brown bag and heading in the opposite direction. He was lost in thought and hadn't answered her greeting, but Ginny hadn't particularly minded. She, herself, was too busy grimacing as she passed the screaming portraits along the way. Mrs. Black was in a particularly foul mood since her son's death and was letting, to all who could hear, that fact be known.

Dropping the cloth bag to the floor, she grumpily rubbed her aching head before realizing she was being watched.

"Hello, Miss Weasley." Dumbledore peered down upon her through his half moon spectacles. "Is something the matter?"

"No. I'm fine, I guess. Just a bit of a headache. She never shuts up."

He laughed and waved his wand over her head, taking the pain away.

"Thank you."

Dumbledore's eyes traveled to the portrait, whose curtains were fluttering angrily. "She's in mourning," he stated seriously.

"Why? She hated her son."

"Perhaps. Though she considers him a traitor to everything her family stood for, he was the last of the Blacks. With his death, the Black family has become no more than a memory."

"Oh. What is to become of this place now Sirius is dead?"

"He's left it and all he had to Harry, though the Order may use it till his 17th birthday."

_Thump!_ Looking down, Ginny saw the bag she had been carrying had opened on it's own and some of contents had spilt out. One item, a moldy old book with in faded gold lettering, was actually slowly creeping away as if in escape.

"Where have you found all this?" Dumbledore asked, scanning the items below; most forbidden and undoubtedly dark.

"Ron found a hidden room upstairs, yesterday," Ginny said as she tried to pick the book up, which to her shock snapped at her. "Mom doesn't want any of us in there so it may take her a while to clean out. She just asked me to move some of this stuff out of the way for her though."

Ginny was grateful as Dumbledore assisted her and returned most of the items to the bag. All except a hand-mirror, backed in black metal and incrusted with three tiny glinting gems, Sapphires. Ginny found it enchantingly beautiful and wondered if he felt the same.

Tracing his fingers over the ruins, the old wizard's eyebrow lifted.

"What is it?"

"Old magic," he said as though it answered the girl's question. "Old and forgotten."

* * *

Striding down the long corridor, Snape reached the entrance to the stairwell for Dumbledore's office and muttered the password to be let in. As usual, he was not spending the summer at Hogwarts. None of the professors were, nor did they ever, but never the less he had spent more time here in the last two summers than all the others combine. Dumbledore insisted on meeting him here or in one of their homes weekly, whether he held new information or not. Snape could not help but wonder what the motive behind these frequent meetings was. He trusted Dumbledore, but did Dumbledore trust him? Were these meetings to just keep an eye on him? It was something he'd long questioned and, if indeed true, would be a hard blow for him to take. He'd spent the last seventeen years repenting his past sins and hoped it wasn't in vain. He prayed there was another rationale behind them. 

"Ah, welcome Severus," Dumbledore greeted cheerfully, gesturing to the chair for him to sit as he entered. "Right on time as usual." The man smiled as he handed Snape a cup of tea he had just poured.

Snape nodded and muttered a thanks to his host.

"How have you been?"

"I haven't gathered anything new since last week," Snape answered plainly. He felt disappointed but did not show it.

And Dumbledore himself appeared even less so. His eyes had their typical twinkle and even seemed a bit brighter today than they had of late. "That's fine and to be expected. I know you try your best, but if I recall right, I didn't ask about your duties. I asked how _you_ were."

Snape eyebrow shot up, being far more surprised then he should be at Dumbledore clear interest in his welfare; his asking wasn't that uncommon. "Grateful for not having to deal with the Neville Longbottom's of this world," Snape smirked. "It's the best part of the summer… and I'm otherwise well, I suppose."

"Very good."

Dumbledore went to pour himself another cup of tea from the shiny silver tea pot and as he did, a glitter, reflecting off an object on Dumbledore's desk, caught Snape's eye. It was a mirror. Snape doubted just any common mirror.

"What is it?" Snape inquired, eyeing it with question.

"The Mirror of Aislinn." Pausing, Dumbledore saw it held no meaning for Snape and went on, "A truth mirror."

"Ah," Snape said, utterly unimpressed.

"Though, it is not as limited as all that. It not only allows the viewer to see what truly is, like most truth mirrors do, but also what was. Much like a pensieve, though the viewer can only see what was in their past, no others, and the vision doesn't have to be one the person even remembers. They just had to have been present."

Snape picked up the mirror and glanced it over. The black metal work was complex and Celtic in design or influence. At it's center was a bird with two sapphires as eyes and one grasped in its beak. "Practically all flash and no show, I believe. Much like many other things in life."

"Ah, but I was not finished. Unlike our dear Sibyll, it can also give us glimpses of one's future." Severus snorted, at his words, seemingly much to Dumbledore's delight. "However, out of the four, that is the foggiest. I believe the holder must themselves have the gift."

"Four? What's the last?"

"The one, which makes this mirror nearly as rare and precious as the Philosopher's Stone itself was. The ability to see what _could_ have been."

Snape's mouth gapped slightly and he blinked in surprise. "I didn't think that was possible."

"I heard about it in my youth. I had thought and was sure it was the product of myths; when I came across the mirror, it had astonished me greatly. I have since been using it to review my decisions in the past year - to see how changing certain factors would have affected the outcome of this year. Valuable knowledge to be certain and far more effective than the pensieve, but I have found it doesn't _always_ ease the mind."

"How does it work?" Snape's tone had an extremely unusual level of awe to it, and his eyes remained solidly fixed upon the mirror.

"Are you wishing to use it?"

"Yes." With the word spoken, the glass hazed over causing his pulse to race in excitement. His eyes widened at the dense shades of blue that swirled about the mirror; it was like staring into murky blue waters. "I'm sure, I couldn't live my life in more…" _'regret than I do now,'_ he finished mentally, unable to make that realization known outloud.

"All you must do is ask, and it will show you what you wish to see."

Snape nodded with understanding, and his mind settled instantly on that one moment. Not the one people would assume if they knew him, but another. _Could it all have been different? _His mind begged to know. _What if it had all been different?_ As he did, his own gaze now hazed over and he felt a whirling sensation, much like the one caused by Floo Powder. He had thought he'd just be sitting there just watching, not this.

One minute, he was sitting in the Headmaster's office and next, lying huddled on a floor, tangled up in his own robes. Lifting his head up, he pushed his greasy hair out of his eyes and peered about the unfamiliar room. It was dark, cold… and eerie. A poor excuse for a fire was the only source of light provided within the shady room, and its crackling log lit barely more than a small patch of wooden floor in front of it. Just beside it, a dark figure was seated in the shadow. Only after taking some steps forward, was Snape finally able to distinguish the identity of the man that his eyes now rested upon. It had worked! Snape could scarcely believe it, but he was staring was at his own self, some 15 years younger. He was hunched over, wrapped in an old frayed blanket and gazing steadily into the low flame. Concern was etched on the young man's every feature. He looked tired and worn down, almost as much as the very seat he sat in. The bags under his eyes gave the impression of one who hadn't sleep in weeks. And he was alone… very much so.

Is this what would have become of him if she had chosen differently? Just as alone and living in what appeared to be near poverty? He could barely believe it.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Breaking from his reflection, he noticed his younger double had already jumped up and was staring at the door with extreme apprehension. It hadn't mattered that the person had knocked, his younger self was nervous. Just as much as he, the elder, was curious. There hadn't been much that could've caused this type of reaction from him, even fifteen years earlier, and those things that could have tended to be of the darker sort. With his wand clutched in his grasp, the younger man quickly walked over to the door and after giving one look behind him, he cautiously pushed the flimsy curtain aside. The sigh of relief that came told the elder it was safe. The door was hurriedly opened and immediately, Snape heard the hushed voice of his twenty-one-year-old self speaking to another man. He had been about to step closer so he could hear what they were saying, when a sound to his right caught his attention instead. His heart once again began to race at the sight before him. Not alone! Lily, she w_as _indeed there and currently peeking through the crack of the bedroom door. Evidently, she was trying to hear the whispers of the others as well. Snape could see she too had her wand held tightly in her hand.

When the door closed and the man had left, she entered the room at last. Barefoot and wearing a nothing more than a white cotton night grown, she scampered across the cold room to where the young Severus Snape was standing. He seemed completely overwhelmed by something.

"Severus?"

"It's over," he stated softly.

Lily's eyes were shining with hope, but after taking yet another step forward, her face fell again, suddenly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." After letting out a shaking breath, a small smile finally came to his face. "It's just hard to believe."

"Dumbledore! He won!"

"No. Not quite," he corrected her, promptly.

Snape watched as his younger self led Lily to the couch, where he had been sitting a short while earlier, by the hand. Once there, he wrapped his blanket around her and used his wand to restore the dying fire. As he gently took Lily's hands into his own, Snape could tell his younger self was preparing to tell her something.

"It was the Longbottoms-"

"They defeated him?!"

"Not quite," he repeated. Seeing she was about to speak, he placed his finger to her lips to quiet her, quickly. "Thurston believes it was their son who actually…"

Lily's green eyes widened with shock.

"How, I can't imagine, but Lily, I must tell you this. I-- I know you were fond of the Longbottoms-"

"And you weren't," she teased him with a grin, to which he gave her his own. Only his had a bitter feel to it.

"No. Although I'm thankful… Their sacrifice means our life can go on."

"Sa… Sacrifice?" Both men knew she understood completely, but didn't want to.

"Only the child lived, Lily."

With these words, tears formed in her saddened eyes, and Snape saw his younger self pull his Lily into his arms. Stroking her long, red hair tenderly, he murmured soothing words, in a way the older never dreamed he could. When had he gone from the bitter lonely boy he was to the man before him, he could only imagine.

They remained like that for some time, comforting and kissing one another. It was only when the shrilling cry of a child filled the room, that they broke apart at last.

"I'll-"

"No," she said getting up. "Let me."

"Maybe it's time for us to both go to bed."

"Mmm, yes maybe." She paused a second, before entering the bedroom. "We'll get married before people see us again, won't we, Severus?"

"Of course." Was the last thing Snape heard as they closed the door behind them and he found himself in Dumbledore's office once again. The Headmaster was standing behind him, his hand on Snape's shoulder. Both the touch and that fact Dumbledore might have seen something made Snape uncomfortable.

As if he could tell Dumbledore soothed, "No one, but those in the vision can see what the mirror shows. If someone, such as myself, were to look while you were, the vision would end."

"Is that what happened?"

"No. It's getting late."

Snape wondered how much time truly had passed while he was looking in the mirror. It had been light out when he had taken his first sip of tea, but now the window showed night had fallen. He had looked up towards the Headmaster to apologize for taking up so much of his time, when he noticed the man's expression. "What's happened?"

* * *

The lights were down at Number 4 Privet Drive; it was late, and the entire household, minus a very gloomy Harry Potter, was fast asleep. Sitting in darkness, Harry was perched on the edge of his old wooden desk, peering out the window to the street below. He was very much lost in thought though he had been trying to do away with thought all together minutes before and failed. Many sleep to escape, but not him, not any more. Whether asleep or awake his problems plagued him, and he preferred to be conscious and in control of those thoughts than to surrender to the uncontrollability of nightmares. 

A month, that is all it had been since he had left Hogwarts, but nevertheless he missed it deeply. Though a school, it was really the only place he had ever truly felt at home; yet with each coming summer, he had to leave his home for another. One he was bound to by blood- to his relatives, who being the muggles they were, feared him, even when he was a little boy, for being a wizard. Ironically, it was a bond of magic, created by the shed blood of his mother, which kept him in their home - which kept him safe, for no place was safer for him than where he was. All because of the love and sacrifice of his mother Lily, almost fifteen years ago.

They were his protection just as they were his torment, expecting him to pay heavily for the 'service' they provided him. At least they were treating him better this summer after Moody and Mr. Weasley's threat, but still there was no family feeling in the fulfillment of their duty. Lucky, he had long since expected or hoped for any.

His hope at family died a month ago along with his godfather Sirius Black. Reliving Sirius' death each night was what kept Harry from sleep that very moment. As his anger faded, things didn't get better - they got worse. The depression came; a heavy all consuming heartache, which left him moping in self pity. His current mood would top anything from last year, that's for sure. It wasn't the same as it had been with Cedric, who had been just an innocent bystander to Voldemort's plans. Sirius' death was Harry's own fault. He knew that now, no matter what Dumbledore had said. Again and again, he thought of all the times he pushed practicing Occlumency aside. For what? Worries over Cho and chatting about Quidditch? Both seemed insignificant now.

And he could have cursed himself for forgetting Snape's place in the Order. Hate him or not, it had been a moronic move. And oh, how Harry hated the man… or at least wanted to. He had struggled and fought with himself, trying to place the blame for Sirius' death on Snape, but each time he realized it could not be done. In the end, it was himself to blame, and he was lucky it hadn't been worse. It could have been. If Snape hadn't informed Dumbledore of his warning, he or one of his friends could have died at the hands of the Death Eaters. All could have. But it had been Sirius. All for Harry's foolish mistake.

If only he had-- _What is that?_ His thought went unfinished as he scurried off his desk and leaned out the window to get a better view. Out of the corner of his eye, he'd swear he saw a shadowy figure, somewhere among the neighbor's trees, but after craning his neck out further still, he saw nothing but stillness below. It must have been his imagination. Learning the prophecy had had it's side effects on Harry, there was no doubt, but he reasoned he was safer here than anywhere, and he was too young and too well protected to become like Mad Eyed Moody just yet. He did see Hedwig though, not too far in the distance, returning from her nightly meal. Harry moved out of the way, allowing his old friend to enter the room. After she did, Harry looked around one last time, just to be sure. _Nothing_. He closed the shades so the morning sunlight didn't wake him from any sleep he might manage to get. Harry sank into his chair and absently petted the bird, which affectionately nipped his finger.

In the last three weeks, he had seen little of anyone, besides his owl. He had hidden away in his room avoiding the Dursley's as much as possible. Being in their presence was the last thing he needed and, heeding the warning they had been given, they stayed away. His Aunt Petunia slipped food through his door, grumbling about them not thinking he was being starved, though she hadn't seemed to mind years before when he did not come down for meals. These days, that had been often. She had even once told him to make sure he had written "his friends." Clearly, she did not want wizards anywhere near her home, if she could avoid it, to check up on him. At the moment, neither did he, so he complied, telling them each time all was well as could be expected.

Harry opened the cage, allowing Hedwig back in till tomorrow evening when she could be free again. With a sigh, Harry leaned his head into his arms on the desk and tried to empty his mind of thought. He had to be safe, just incase. He'd fallen asleep there three days ago and wouldn't be shocked if he did again, but the opportunity never came. Harry's head jerked up at the sound. Someone was at his door! He heard it, one by one the locks clicking open and falling to the floor. Harry leaped up, causing his chair to tip back with a thud, as he rushed to his trunk to retrieve his wand. He had not even gotten the chance to lift the latch when the door burst open. His heart pounded and Hedwig screeching filled his ears as a breeze, merely strong enough to ruffle his hair, came through the room. In the darkness, he saw a dull green light, which revealed just enough to show him the woman standing in the hall, her wand directed at him. As the woman began chanting some spell, the green light, which seemed to be radiating from her chest came towards him as though a mist. Harry threw the trunk open. It was coming increasingly closer. Harry grabbed his wand and backed away, not knowing what the green mist might do. He heard his Uncle Vernon screaming in the hall, as it came closer yet still.

Harry franticly began reciting his own defensive spell, placing a protective shield around himself, hoping it would stop what ever was happening. It did not. He was about to begin his own counterattack, when the light surrounded him, causing an odd sensation to fill his body. All he heard were the words she spoke, words he did not understand. They became increasingly louder and louder, almost echoing within his ears. He felt his hand shake violently and unwillingly the wand fell from his gasp. Harry looked up pleadingly, through bright streaks of light, towards them in the hall. He saw his uncle, who still seemed to be shouting though the sound didn't reach Harry's ears at all. The witch completely ignored what ever protest the man may have been giving. Her blue eyes were intently focused on Harry yet.

With a painful jerk, Harry crumpled to the hard wood floor, but he would not give up. Pushing himself up with one arm, he tried to grab his wand with the other. It was such a short distance away, but before his fingers reached the tip, an agonizing spasm filled him yet again. His mind screamed, this was not the first time this had happened. He knew this. From where he did not know but he knew it neither the less. Looking up through his watering eyes scrunched in pain, he saw his uncle throw the woman against the wall. As he did so, the sensation left Harry. The spell had broken and the green light, that had grown so bright it would sting one's eyes to stare into it, had faded away.

End of Chapter 1

**Facts and Tidbits:**

_Me being me, I like to put meaning behind many things in my writing. I doubt most people notice and do it for my own satisfaction, but I decided for this fic to give the meaning behind some of the symbolism I'm using. I got the info from web pages mostly, since I'm anything but an expert of these subjects. If you disagree, you can say so in a review, but please don't flame._

**Mirror of Aislinn:**

Aislinn is Celtic for dream, vision, or inspiration.

From the website: www. younique.us /Celtic /CelticIndex.htm http:www.younique.us/Celtic/CelticIndex.htm

-Mirrors in Celtic are a symbol of "magical insight, used as a tool for scrying"

-"Birds play a prominent role in Celtic myth and legend. Birds were Spirits of Prophesy."

Using Sapphires had a purpose too, besides looks. Different sites give different meanings, but the basic one I'm using is: "A stone of prosperity. Dispels unwanted thoughts. Bring peace of mind. Allows one to obtain dreams. Sapphire crystals are superior to gems for healing and allow one to ease to the metaphysical realms. Allows one to access ancient. Used for defensive magic."

And

"Ancient people believed that the power of wisdom is contained within this precious gemstone. They believed that when the wearer of a sapphire faces challenging obstacles, the stone's power enables them to find the correct solution. Aids in the release of unwelcome thoughts, brings joy and peace of mind by opening the mind to beauty and intuition. Sustains the gifts of life and aids in the fulfillment of the dreams of your consciousness"

I am unsure if the Celts used them, I looked, but able to find any information on that. If they didn't? shrug Sorry.

**Feedback:** This is my first Harry Potter fic. Feedback would be very much appreciated.


	2. Issues With Family

**Thanks and Comments:**

Thanks to all of you for the reviews. (UW, tia, Meggplant, deedolly7 , Melwasul , Kateri1 , Agnei Smith , Adrienne Drusilla Daae , KatieScarlet)

**Meggplant**- Thanks for the review. No I didn't know there was another fic by the same title, though with as many Harry Potter fanfics there are, there are bound to be a lot of repeats. The ship I may do for Harry isn't H/D (unless this fic goes off in a direction I don't intend) so confusion shouldn't be an issue. If there is enough desire for a list to inform of updates, I'll set one up. For now though, since you are the only one who has shown interest, I'll just email you to let you know when I've updated.

**deedolly7 **- Glad your enjoying it. Not my first fanfic, but my first Harry Potter fic. I've written a bit of fanfic for the tv show Alias.

**Melwasul **- Ah, is it? Guess that is bound to happen too (like the title being already used) with all the Harry Potter fanfics out there. Haven't read your story, but I see it's Severitus challenge. I'll be sure to check it out when I have the time.

**Adrienne Drusilla Daae **- Thanks for the fantastic review! The mirror should be in two other scenes (besides the one in the below chapter). It may make reappearances after that, but for the current time I how no other plans for it. I'm sure people would get bored after a while of it if I used it too much. If I do add more scenes than I have already though, I may explore some of those questions you asked. I'm glad you think Snape is in character. One of my fears in writing for a new fandom is that I don't know the characters well enough to be 100 in character. As to why Vernon was 'helping' Harry, it was more him not wanting 'funny business' in his home than caring about what was happening to Harry. Thanks bunches for the info on sapphires. Now I feel it's okay I used them. You should have gotten (or will be getting) a pm at SD-1 from me with the information you asked for.

**KatieScarlet-** Thanks! I debated posting about it in the thread. 1) Cause I was scared none of you would even like it and 2) while there will be a lot of S/L, there will be way more Harry and Snape interaction and I wasn't sure you guys would be interested.

The interruption had been all Harry needed to snatch up his wand again. His body ached. Not even a beating from Dudley's gang had ever left him feeling so off put, but he pushed that all aside and ran out into the hall where he found his relatives in body binds and looking rather terrified. The witch was nowhere is sight. With the wave of his wand, he released them from their hold. Had the situation been different, Harry might have enjoyed leaving them like that a while, but just now wasn't the time for such an amusement.

"Go-- Go to sleep, boy," Vernon sputtered, clearly not knowing what else to say.

"Have him go check if that thing is away first," his wife hissed. Dudley was pale with fright and hanging behind her even at 16 years of age.

"Well, you heard her boy. Go check!"

Harry threw them a dirty look, and than considered following it up with a particularly nasty hex. _Matter as well get a good one in before I'm expelled, _he thought bitterly, but then he conceded there wasn't much other choice besides sending him. Imagine if they tried to send Dudley on such a task. Him, facing a witch! He'd faint dead away at her first utterance. If they managed to pry him off his mother to even go, that is.

"Fine," he grumbled.

Tiptoeing carefully down the stairs and making sure to avoid the creaky step, Harry wondered if this was indeed the end… of his school days, not his life. Four times, in five years was… well three times too many, though he had gotten away with it third year and second year just wasn't his fault. Stuff just always happened to him. _There should be exception to the rule for people like me, _he reflected.

_All underage wizards, except the likes of Harry Potter, who are always persecuted most unfairly by the evil things of this world and their most insufferable relatives, are not allowed to use magic outside of school (Decree for the Reasonable and Sane Restriction of Underage Sorcery). _

Snape would gripe about this. How his fame allowed him to get away with murder, while others paid more dearly for their offenses. True, yes, but anyone would have to admit all those less famed children didn't receive yearly attacks either.

On the last step, he sighed as he saw all was quiet. Whoever that was must be far away by now though he should check the other rooms and the outside just to be sure. He'd be foolish not to. Stepping down to the landing, it was to his shock the front door burst open with a loud crack. Harry had fallen backwards onto his bum in fright and was now watching a small group of Aurors pile through the door. Now he'd done it.

"Harry, are you ok?" A worried Tonks ran towards him.

The rest, mostly unfamiliar faces, seemed to go off to check the rest of the house.

"I'm fine," Harry said, inching back another step, unsure of what to do. "You're not going to have to break my wand are you?"

"No," she replied, gazing at him with a look of… was that pity on her face? Her eyes slowly drifted from Harry to the top of the stairs where the Dursleys were huddled. "We need you to tell us what happened. We know it's not your fault. The wards were some how gotten through and a witch was caught not far from here. She is refusing to say anything."

"She broke into my room. I think she was casting a spell on me. There was green all around... like a mist. I felt- pain." Harry recounted. "I didn't recognize the spell," he added as an after thought.

"That's-"

"Harry!" Lupin shouted, as he ran into the house. He stopped in front of him, panting for breath and grasped onto Harry's shoulder in a protective yet comforting gesture. When their eyes met, the immense fear, which had filled Lupin's gaze, crumbled away and was replaced with what Harry knew all too well to be pity. There was such sadness in that expression, Harry could not help but to look away. First Tonks and now Lupin. Why were they looking at him like that?

It was than he realized what these stares were all about. _Is it really that bad? _Harry wondered. Self-consciously, he patted down his dirty bleak hair, which had already long gone flat due to lack of washing and even if he had managed an improvement that wouldn't hide the fact the rest of him hadn't been washed in goodness knows how long either. What a sight he must be.

"Look, get your stuff. It's not safe here until we know what happened and how they got through."

"He's not welcome back," Petunia said from the top of the stairs at Lupin's words. "Last year had been enough, Dementors! But now break in to my own home. It's time you freaks take care of him."

"But Mrs. Dursley, Harry's safety-"

"Is your concern now, not ours!" Vernon bellowed. He was rather softer than normal. It was the dead of night after all and he couldn't attract attention from the neighbors, particularly with all these people roaming about.

An owl swooped in with a letter in a red envelope, smoking slightly, in it's beak. It was a Howler, but his aunt ignored it completely. It clearly didn't hold the same fear for her it had a year earlier. "That _thing_ put a spell on my Duddy! Tell _him _his part of the deal is not being upheld. That should be reason enough."

"Dumbledore?" Lupin inquired.

"Yes, him." Smoke was really pouring from the Howler now. Dudley began whimpering behind her. "Now, take the boy and leave… and make sure that freak didn't bring any friends with it."

"Mum! It's going to explode!" Dudley ran from the room. Snickers filled the room as some realized the boy had been seriously frightened.

"Ohhhh," she wailed with irritation and threw the letter down to the level below. As it fluttered to the bottom, it burst into flames and the screaming voice of Dumbledore could be heard.

Harry didn't have much to pack. He hadn't even bothered to unpack since he had gotten here so they were quickly out the door. Once outside, Harry could see the small group that had entered were only a few of the Aurors and Order members, which now covered the area.

"Where are we going?"

Lupin looked at him from the corner of his eye and stated, "Grimmauld Place."

"What about The Weasley's or," Harry said, his eyes searching Lupin's.

"Hogwarts?" Lupin suggested. He paused, examining the urgency in Harry's suggestion. "We are expected at Grimmauld Place, the Weasley's are there and I am sure they are eager to see you... though if you'd prefer-"

"Yes, I would." Harry was relieved Lupin understood him.

Lupin looked to the few nearby to see they were nodding in consent.

"I'll inform Dumbledore we'll be taking him to Hogwarts," said a middle-aged female Harry had never met before. This ended the discussion.

* * *

"About ten minutes ago, the wards around the Dursley residence were penetrated," Albus Dumbledore informed Severus Snape. "Until we know what has happened Harry will be staying here."

"Here? Why not Grimmauld Place?"

"It's too soon for Harry to go back there."

"Ah, yes, we wouldn't dream of inconveniencing the famous Mr. Potter, now would we?" Snape sneered. He was less than thrilled with having to see the boy so soon after the vision in the mirror and had no intention of being here if he didn't have to be. "Is my presence required?

"No, no. It's late. We'll just ask him a few questions perhaps and send him off to bed. However, I'd like you to come back tomorrow afternoon. We'll talk over then what we are to do next."

"In that case, I'll be spending the night here." He wondered, " Would you allow me to borrow the mirror for the evening. I wasn't finished when I was interrupted."

"You had been looking at the mirror a long time, Severus."

"It hadn't felt like it."

Dumbledore examined him. Snape felt vulnerable and exposed with those blue eyes upon him. He was speaking to the one man who could see right through him, right down to his core. No one, not even the Dark Lord, had ever known him the way this man did.

"You may take it for the night," Dumbledore said at last. "Just be aware of the passing time."

Snape exhaled. He hadn't even noticed he'd been holding his breath. "I will. Thank you."

"Good night, Severus."

"Good night," Snape replied, picking up the mirror and leaving for his room.

Lying back on the couch, in his quarters, Snape held the mirror before him and stared at it pensively. It hadn't seemed that long. Half an hour, maybe… at most, yet hours had truly gone by. How long had he really stood there just watching his other self stare into the fire? Minutes, he had assumed. And the young couple both in mourning and celebrating what was to come? A little longer, but just a bit. Could time have been different there? No. Looking back it had been the dead of night when he first arrived and now his mind's eye registered that indeed the sun had been peeking over the horizon when the baby's scream filled the room. Considerable time had passed.

He had never been the sort to lose track of time. His life's work would never allow it. Minutes and even seconds mattered in the art of potion making. Focus and precision before all else.

He supposed it was excusable. Just this once. The situation was unique and this time he'd know better. It'd be different. He wanted to see just a little more of what it would have been like. That thought was all it had taken. The mirror misted over and Snape felt the tug. When it stopped, he found himself in a place, which was all too familiar.

He was home and there they were, in his mother's favorite room and therefore his own growing up. It had been their place, his mother and him, and his father had always stayed far away from it to both their delight. Countless hours the two of them had spent here, but it all ended with his mother's death. His father had shut up the room soon after. He had been furious with his father at the time, but even now with the house being his own, he had never reentered it. Still, it was one of the few places, that still held loving memories for him to this day.

It was small and just as warm, cozy and inviting as it had been back in his mother's day. This room, he mused, had always possessed a distinctive family feel to it that the rest of the house lacked. Lily's influence upon the room could clearly be felt, but much to his pleasure, she had merged it with his own mother's taste and what had been was still there.

Most of the older photographs and portraits he remembered were absent. He did see the one of him as a child with his parents. He had been about ten when the photo had been taken. His mother, who rarely had asked for anything, had bothered his father for it to be done. He was being sent to Hogwarts soon after and his mother wanted something of him when he was away. And then there was the portrait of his mother in her younger years. His favorite. She sat, reading, on a white antique chair wearing pale blue robes. From time to time, she'd smile, turn a page or tuck a brown lock of hair behind her ear. To him, his mother was quite pretty, though he knew many had called her plain.

The rest of the space was filled with pictures and portraits of the current family that dwelt in the home. Each stage of their lives could be seen here. Their life seemed a happy and peaceful one. Snape even noted to his surprise that a Muggle picture of Lily's elder sister, Petunia and what must be her family sat on the mantel.

The scene before him was a regular everyday one. They sat, reading quietly on the couch. He and Lily, in this vision, were quite a bit older from the last. About his current age, it appeared, though time hadn't taken as large a toll on them. A girl, around eleven, sat on the floor at Lily's feet. She, herself, was immersed in a Charms book like her mother. She had Lily's red hair, though it was lank and stringy as his was, and her mother's green eyes and freckles. Unlike Lily, the girl had an air of awkwardness about her. From time to time, Snape saw she'd look up at her mother as if she were needing approval or comfort. She was clearly attached and wanted to be near Lily, because Snape saw no other reason why she wouldn't sit in one of the other chairs like the rest of the family.

A little girl sat on a comfy chair to the side, which he had always liked himself when he was little. She was about six years old and had his own raven colored hair, pale skin and dark eyes, but unlike him, she was quite a beautiful child. The girl appeared positively bored, but continued on playing with a doll sitting in her lap.

Finally, a young man sat at the desk, across the room, his back to the others. Snape wasn't able to get a good look at him. He was busy scribbling away on a sheet of parchment with his chin length black hair in his face. He could tell the boy was tall and wiry, just as he had been as a teen. Looking over his shoulder Snape saw he was doing what he'd place as a sixth year Transfiguration essay. Snape guessed it must be one of the school breaks for him to be here.

Things remained just as so until the silence was broken by the chiming of the old grandfather clock, telling all it was precisely eight in the evening. As if taking her cue, at the sound, the ebony haired girl dropped her doll, bounced off the chair and scurried over to her father fast as her little legs could carry her. She stood there a second, staring at him expectantly with her dark bottomless eyes, but became impatient quickly. To get his attention, she attempted to hit his book out of his hands, but made little impact. His other self definitely noticed her. His eyes had a mischievous gleam to them, but he didn't otherwise openly acknowledge his daughters presence. She then settled on squirming her way under the book and onto his lap. All he did was simply place his book aside.

"Little trouble maker you are," he admonished her gently, patting the back of her head.

A pink tinge came to her cheeks as she grinned broadly at him. "Read to me."

"Oh… alright," he sighed, picking up his book.

"No," she swatted the book again. "A fun book."

Something told Snape this was a common routine between the two. Lily had stopped reading and was smiling at them.

"Tell you what. If you pick out a book that is not Annabelle And The Magical Tea Party" The boy at the desk snickered. "And I'll read it. After, straight off to bed you go."

Her eyes narrowed and she seemed to be thinking over the offer. "No, Annabelle And The Magical Tea Party."

He grunted.

She pouted and than... "Okay…" A naughty glimmer was in her eye as she got down and ran over to the corner, which had a pile of books. She came back, handed the book to her father and climbed back into her place.

"Annebelle And The Fairy Dance," he grimaced.

Lily snorted and gave him a sympathetic look.

"Well, Lily," he said, now smiling and gazing at wife. "_This_ one will follow in her brother and father's footsteps for sure."

The girl smirked proudly.

"This time I concede to you," Lily laughed. "Clever and cunning. She's Slytherin through and through… though you should have known she had others."

"She's always had me read that other one," he replied absently.

"Thought you were going to check over my work?" The boy called over his shoulder.

"I will. When I get back." He looked to the little girl. "Say good night."

Without delay, she bounded over to her mother.

"Unusual for a child to enjoy going to bed so much."

As the girl kissed her check, Lily explained, "She doesn't like sleeping. She enjoys you reading to her."

Slight smile came to the man's face.

"Night, darling."

With the final goodbye, the two left, though the girl had run back a minute later to fetch her doll, which had been on the floor where it had been dropped earlier.

Snape went over to the entranceway. He didn't want to miss anything. He had just as much desire to keep on watching Lily and these two kids as he did in seeing the young girl being put to bed. From here, he could hear they had entered the bathroom. The door had been left open so over the running water he was able hear the two arguing over what she'd wear to bed. It seemed the little girl had to have her purple one and she wouldn't be able sleep without it. His other self was telling her it wasn't possible because it was in the wash and that the blue nightgown would fulfill the purpose just as well. It was so strangely… domestic.

"Why does he favor them over me?" A sudden whisper came from behind him.

"He doesn't."

"Yes, he does!" It was the other girl, sitting on the floor, speaking.

The boy, who had overheard, turned around with a raised eyebrow. "Who won't like us better than you, Shannon?"

Lily shot an angry look to the teen. "Enough from you! Get back to your school work."

"Dad!" He mockingly whined though the man was far from earshot. "Why does mother like Shannon better than me?!" The boy turned back around, a smirk present on his face.

Lily looked as if she wanted to throttle him.

"He was never like that with me," Shannon glowered.

"She demands his attention. You know what a fuss she'd put up if someone else tried to put her to bed."

"It's because he spoils her," the redheaded girl said in a tone that indicated the very fact the girl would want him to put her to bed proved his favoritism.

Lily sighed as though she had no answer to that assertion.

"He never spoils me," the girl grumbled under her breath, not wanting to let the subject go. Sulking, she looked back down to her book.

Lily appeared as though she was about to say something...

Within a blink, Snape suddenly found himself back in his room at Hogwarts. The sound of a closing door was still ringing in his ears. It was simple as that. He hadn't intentionally left the vision, but here he was never the less. Snape was sure the closing door had something to do with it.

Snape put the mirror aside and rubbed his temples in frustration. He felt completely overwhelmed. Everything he had seen was of a world he'd never dare dream of having; a wife and three children. He was left wondering if he would really show favoritism among his own blood. He never pictured himself being an indulgent father. Merlin! He never pictured himself being a father at all!

And the boy, Snape had gotten a good glimpse at him when he had turned around. As much as the youngest child looked like him, it was nothing compared to the eldest. If not for the green eyes and slightly smaller yet still hooked nose, Snape would swear it was himself at the age of 16 or maybe 17. It was all so strange for him.

Snape closed his eyes, hating the dull ache in his heart. As he fell asleep, he swore he'd never look into that mirror ever again.

* * *

It was sunrise when at last the small convoy arrived at Hogwarts. The same female, Elisabeth Kinney, who had earlier gone ahead to inform Dumbledore of their coming, now greeted them at the main entrance. Admittedly, they were taken to a small room nearby, where a generous amount of food and drink was already laid out for them. Some individuals, being too tired to even eat, passed the meal up and went straight to the sleeping quarters, which had been arranged for them for the night. The rest gratefully sat down and began eating, waiting to see if they'd be needed. Harry was among them. He looked absolutely exhausted and showed very little appetite, as he nibbled on the sandwich provided for him, but he was at least eating something. Lupin was glad for that small blessing. Harry seemed so incredibly malnourished compared to a month ago. Lupin wondered if it and his unkempt appearance was a result of those cruel relatives of his or his lack of caring about either. Whichever, it made his heart sink to just look at him.

"They've taken her to Azkaban," Lupin heard someone say from behind him. Turning around he saw it was Phelp, who was a rather notorious auror for one so young and a new member of the Order as well. He was talking to Dumbledore.

"She still reveals nothing?"

"Nothing. Not a word," Phelp replied with irritation evident in his tone. "Odd thing though, when they were questioning her, they tried to taunt her into giving information. They told that what ever she had been planning to do to Harry hadn't worked. She smiled… just… smiled. It was as if it had _proven_ something to her."

Dumbledore nodded. If Lupin was reading his expression right, he too found this peculiar. "Has her wand told them anything?"

"I don't know. They'll check which spells were cast for sure, but if it's been done already, I wasn't told so."

"Do your best to find out."

Lupin could see, one or both of the men were about to leave. He was tired and uncharacteristically testy, but he had to know. "Where was the extra watch?" Lupin walked up to them, demanding an answer.

"Remus," Phelp greeted Lupin like they were old friends. Seeing Lupin's stony expression was unmovable, he went on, "Resources are stretched thin. The Ministry doesn't want them 'wasted on Potter.' Particularly when he's far better protected than most others under threat out there. Some of us do try to keep watch over him on our time off, any not taken up by helping the Order that is. We just don't have enough time or people."

"I would have been there had I known there was none."

"Order work by day and guard duty by night?" The man asked, shaking his head. "You don't have much more time than the rest of us do and you need to sleep sometime."

"I would have tried! I'd do anything to make sure no harm comes to him."

"The wards were suppose to do that," Dumbledore placed his hand on Lupin's shoulder to calm him. "Anyone wishing to hurt either Harry or the Dursley's never should have been able to penetrate those defenses."

"What if someone is under the Imperius Curse?" Phelp questioned.

"Even then, for the will of the one who has control of them, is to do harm."

"Can extra wards be placed around Privet Drive?"

"Of course, extra defenses can always be cast. It wouldn't help Harry, nor would be as strong as what had been in place. The blood bond has been broken. He's not welcome back."

End of Chapter 2

**Facts and Tidbits:**

Shannon is Irish for wise one. It's not likely to come up in the fic (unless I for some reason add new scenes not already planned, which include the mirror), but I consider her a Ravenclaw.


	3. Unpleasant Discussions

**Thanks and Comments: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed: HecateDeMort, Kateri1, ironic-humour, SeparatriX, athenakitty, the Desert Fox, tia, Andromeda Snape-Malfoy

**SeparatriX:** I figured I'd answer it here cause you gave this review before becoming my beta. You are on to something with your comments involving the witch and yes Harry is under a glamour charm.

**tia**- I am thinking of shipping Harry with one of the people you mentioned. Nothing solid yet as far as that goes.

It had been such a simple moment. The choice between safety and convention versus that of love. It had been Lily's to decide and there was nothing he could've done to undo it. He hated that moment. It had been when he held onto hope as never before, only to watch as it suddenly came crashing down around them. It was one of those moments he relived each and every time he laid eyes on the Potter boy. Potter… if not for that choice he never would have existed. No. Three children, very much his own, would have been in Potter's place and beautiful Lily would have been alive and his wife. Perhaps even foolish James Potter would have met different fate. It seemed all the better, all but for the Longbottoms, though some would argue death preferable than the fog of insanity they currently lived in. And their son… Yes, still it was all for the better, but Snape knew it would never be.

He closed he eyes and scolded himself for thinking about it. He needed sleep. Just another hour. It would be as restless as the one he had just had, but it would be something.

But the sudden pounding at his door, told him it was not to be.

When Harry awoke the next day, he didn't quite know where he was. Hogwarts, yes, but where within he was unsure. It wasn't Gryffindor Tower or any of the other student areas. Just your typical bedroom. The sort one would find in most any household. Harry was further puzzled as to how he had even gotten to this room. It was all a blur, but last he recalled he had been trying to concentrate on what Dumbledore had been saying. He had been asking him a question.

Looking out the window, Harry deliberated over as to how long he had been sleeping. From the height of the sun, he'd guess a good deal of the day had already passed. Although he was alone now, Harry knew he hadn't been awhile earlier. On a table by his bedside, a simple breakfast was laid out, toast with butter, a bowl of porridge and a jug of orange juice. Touching the jug he saw it was still icy cold. Either he had just missed the food's arrival or magical means were keeping the food at the appropriate temperature until he ate it. Beside his plate there was a note. Absently nibbling on piece of toast, he looked over the letter.

Take all the time you need to eat and freshen up. The bathroom is to your right. You should also find your trunk by the foot of the bed for anything you might need. As soon as your ready, come down to the Headmaster's office. We will be waiting for you there.

Password: Raspberry Snappers

Harry reddened. 'Freshen up?' He felt like he was a small child again, being told by Aunt Petunia to make sure he was 'decent' enough to be in her house, which, if not for him, would be perfect in every way. He'd be sent outside where dirty things belonged if he did not.

Opening his trunk, Harry instinctively grabbed for his school robes before reluctantly putting them back. Since it was summer, wearing his robes may not be appropriate. He exchanged them for some of his oversized, hand-me-down, Muggle clothing. While they were wrinkled, they were also thankfully clean.

After retrieving some other items he needed, Harry headed to the bathroom. Without thought, he dropped both his clean and dirty clothing in a pile on the floor and jumped into the shower. The instant the hot water hit his body, he sighed in relief. Standing there washing the grime away, he barely believed he could allow himself to go so long without doing just this. He felt better already. After scrubbing thoroughly, he washed his hair once, then twice. It would not do though. It still felt unclean to him. Frustrated, he tried once more. Finding it was useless, he got out and proceeded to brush his teeth and comb his hair, which, though tamer than normal, was annoying him more than usual.

When he deemed himself 'decent,' Harry gazed up into the mirror. He was presentable enough, but staring at his reflection after so long was awkward. He was pretty much the same as always, not particularly attractive and even after a growth spurt last year, still short for his age. Between the two, he admitted to himself, he'd rather he taller.

On a whim, he lifted himself up on his toes to see what it'd be like. He did appear taller. Not by much, just a bit, but Harry decided a bit more was far better than a bit less. Discontented, he sighed and returned to the flat of his feet. It didn't matter anyway. It was a waste of time to even think about it. He was just the same as he had always been and he'd have to endure another school year being one of the shortest of his class.

It was disappointing though. He could have sworn he'd gone through another a growth spurt this summer. He probably would have even been excited about it, had it not been for everything else, but he clearly had been mistaken. Maybe it had been being cramped in that tiny room for so long, or perhaps it had been the lack of food which had misled him into believing he was taller. He was thinner than he had ever been and that was saying something.

"Come in," Harry heard a muffled voice through the door of Professor Dumbledore's office beckon. Entering, Harry found the office empty, save Lupin, whose amber eyes were focused intently on him.

"The Headmaster wishes you to stay here until he is able to get back. Come, sit." Lupin patted the spot next to him on the sofa.

Harry obeyed, sinking into the soft sofa. Lazily, he turned his head to glance at Lupin, who was continuing to study him in the same apprehensive manner in which he had the night before. Harry shifted uncomfortably under his gaze and did his best to ignore the fact that they found themselves in the midst of an incredibly awkward silence. He took in the surroundings of Dumbledore's office. The swirling objects, the paintings of Headmasters of old, and countless shelves of ancient books. They had always been fascinating to Harry, but in his clear desire to pretend there wasn't strain between him and Lupin, they became reminiscent of marvels one would see only once in a lifetime. When his eyes met Lupin's again, Harry tried his best to smile, but his unease was evident. It shouldn't be like this with Lupin. It was almost as wrong as if it had been Sirius, but than Harry knew it was likely Sirius that was coming between them now.

"How did you sleep?"

Harry sighed, relieved at the question. "Fine." _No nightmares about killing your last best friend, _his mind added sadistically. Harry felt sickened at the thought.

"Harry…"

He shook his head instinctively knowing what was to come next.

"Do you want to talk about-…"

"No!" Harry answered far too quickly. _Not that._ It was far too soon and his emotions were still too raw to talk about _that_ night and he rather die than talk of the nightmares.

From the corner of his eyes Harry could see that Lupin wanted to ask or tell him something, but could not find the way or the courage. Or maybe he just knew this was something left better alone. "Where is everyone?" Harry asked, hoping to take the attention off his outburst and to find out what he had been pondering anyway.

Lupin took a deep breath. He gaped for a second and feebly replied, "Away." It had barely been audible.

Harry knew it hadn't been what he had meant to say. Something was weighing on the werewolf's mind.

After rallying some infamous Gryfindor bravery, Lupin went on, "There was another-- There _were_ other incidents last night, Harry. Several families, in the areas around Muggle London…"

_Were attacked, likely murdered._ Harry nodded with understanding. Whatever Dumbledore was doing involved that.

"It's like the old days all over again." He had said it more to himself than Harry.

Harry couldn't possibly conceive what the old days had truly been like, but he realized his former professor was on the verge of tears and it scared him. He didn't know what to say. He had never been comforted much, let alone to be the one to comfort. He didn't even have a full idea what had happened and he dared not ask. "It's been a few h-h-hard weeks," he attempted, biting his lip at the stutter.

Lupin placed a hand on Harry's arm, his eyes glistening with unshed tears and gave Harry a weak smile. "I believe our roles here should be reversed, but yes it has. I'd tell you more..." Harry put up his hands showing he didn't have to. "...but I really shouldn't say more until Dumbledore gets back." He paused, appeared to be considering something and than went on in a falsely bright tone, "I've been invited back to teach."

Harry relaxed at the change of subject. "Well, that's good news." Harry gave a small smile for what must be the first time in weeks. "It will be just like the old days." _How stupid am I?_ Harry chastised himself.

Either Lupin hadn't notice the similarity to his earlier comment or decided to ignore it completely. "Did well on your Defense OWL then?" He said with a knowing gleam in his eyes.

He nodded. "Of course," Harry said as proudly as he could manage. Slowly, a wide pleased smile came to his face. "Yeah, I did very well."

The two had just been wrapping up an enthusiastic chat about Ron's Quidditch victory when Dumbledore finally got back to the office. Snape, who was close at his heels, scowled when he saw Harry waiting for them. Harry daringly glared back. He didn't know what Snape's problem was. He did, after all, have more right to hate Snape than Snape did of him.

Dumbledore looked exhausted, but did his best to be cheerful. He thanked Harry for waiting and offered them all his normal fare of lemon drops, which each turned down. Being satisfied they were all settled in for the talk, he dived straight into the conversation.

"Last night, you implied the spell felt almost like drinking Polyjuice Potion."

"Did I?" Harry looked questioningly to each of them and did his best to hide his horror about the reference to his second year mischief. Dumbledore and Lupin though, seemed to find nothing reprehensible about the statement at all. They were looking at him like he had done no more than claimed to drink butterbeer. Snape, however, had an eyebrow accusingly quirked in his direction. "Yes. I meant how I'd imagine it would feel if I did," Harry explained lamely.

"No need, Harry," Lupin told him, letting him know he was fooling no one. "You won't get into trouble for any past offense you may have committed. It's important for you to be completely honest with us."

Harry looked to Dumbledore, who nodded in agreement. "Well, yes, it sort if did," he said slowly, "but worse. Far worse. It was really painful."

There was a hint of sadness to Dumbledore's expression. "Is that why you said you had felt that way before?"

"No." Harry once again searched his mind from where he had felt that sensation and came up blank. It was as if someone had erased the memory. Furrowing his brow, he thought hard of what had happened the night before in hope he might just remember. "The spell color was green and it hurt a lot. My body ached all over, but I'm sure it wasn't Cruciatus. It was sort of slow and misty. And the spell was too long to be that anyway."

"All the signs of Dark Arts, yet nothing bad happened to the boy." Snape had finally spoken. His eyes were narrowed in shrewd contemplation. "Had it been someone other than Potter I'd think it a distraction. That they were drawing attention one place so that the other targets could be struck with little or no resistance, but they'd never pass up the opportunity to..." His eyes darted to Harry. "...kill the boy."

A rush of hatred towards Snape filled Harry once again, but he had little time to dwell on it.

"Are things as bad as we feared?" Lupin asked Dumbledore apprehensively.

"There were several raids. All came less than an hour after the attack on Privet Drive. Could be a coincidence or, as Severus said, a planned distraction. We've been unable to learn any information about the witch who attacked Harry. They are keeping a tight hold over her. The Ministry considers this their first big capture since the Death Eaters a few weeks back. I will talk to them further tomorrow."

Lupin appeared doubtful. "You really think they will let you see her?"

"I do. In the mean time we will try to learn what we can."

To Harry's surprise, Dumbledore had gotten up and had walked over to him.

"May I?"

"Err yeah," Harry answered, not even knowing what he was consenting to.

Snape scoffed, beside them.

"Why shouldn't I trust the headmaster?" Harry practically spat back. He was sure his seemingly easy faith was what Snape was mocking. Harry straightened and stared ahead unflinchingly as if to prove he was unwavering in that trait. It didn't matter that it wasn't true.

Ignoring them both, Dumbledore placed his hand on Harry's forehead as if he were checking for a fever.

There was a spreading warmth in Harry's face, followed by strange tingling sensation. Confusion filled Dumbledore's blue eyes, which were devoid of their usual twinkle. He took his hand away slowly, stared at Harry a few seconds longer and said, "There is a spell upon you. I can not tell if it is just incomplete or wearing off. Perhaps both."

Dumbledore sat back down and seemed particularly quiet. Something about what just happened made the knots in Harry's stomach tighten. He had a feeling the headmaster was holding something back.

"May I ask why it is you required my presence?" Snape asked, impatiently.

Dumbledore gazed up at the man. "Yes, I'd appreciate you staying another night. Someone must stay with Harry."

Harry's face fell while Snape looked at Dumbledore like he had gone insane. Harry was sure this was the last thing either of them wanted. "No, it's okay. I change my mind. I don't mind going to Grimmauld Place."

The corners of Snape's month twisted in smug delight. "There, that settles it."

"No, Harry. You'll stay here. It will just be for a night."

Harry's eyes bulged, wondering what Dumbledore must be thinking. _You'd think he'd be glad I was willing to go back, _Harry thought.

"I don't see why I'm needed for this," Snape stated in a dry aggravated tone.

"Neither do I," Lupin joined in. "I'll stay with him. We can have the same arrangement as last night."

"I'd like you to be at the meeting tonight, Remus."

Snape, Harry believed, was about to protest why his absence was acceptable and Lupin's was not, when Dumbledore quickly added, "You got sleep last night. Severus did not."

"Neither did you," Snape snapped. "And I know far more about what happened last night than anyone else who will be in that room. I lived through it. Those raids were a show. Random, meaningless attacks meant to scare people into submission and to show his new recruits what will be expected of them after their initiation."

"I understand Severus-"

"They will get worse!"

Harry was shocked. Snape had never been disrespectful to the headmaster that he could recall.

Dumbledore sighed. "I understand that as well. Harry can't be left alone here and…" He looked to Harry "…I do realize you're not ready to go back there yet. Regardless of what you say. There is no need for undo suffering."

_What does he think spending the night in Snape's presence is? _Harry fumed.

Snape looked equally disconcerted.

"The meeting will be a small one," Dumbledore consoled. "And Lupin is needed for another matter as well. If you don't wish to stay here, your home is well protected. You may take him there for the night if you wish to go back."

"My home is _remarkably _well protected, but no Potter will _ever_ step foot in it." Snape stared resentfully at the headmaster, who remained silent. "Here, if I must."

"Splendid," Dumbledore said with a strange twinkle in his eyes. "We will see you both in the morning."

After leaving the headmaster's office, Snape felt uncharacteristically manipulated by him. He was certain that Dumbledore had never even intended to allow Potter to leave Hogwarts, he had only offered in false good will. Dumbledore knew he and the boy would both reject it.

_So much for Gryfindor honor_.

Snape was further bothered by being pushed aside at such a critical time to baby-sit, small meeting or not. He didn't like the idea that Harry Potter would be in his private rooms either. Snape could barely imagine being able to sleep knowing he was in the next room doing who knows what. He was just thankful anything of importance to him was moved back to his house for the summer.

Dinner was fast and simple. Their conversation had been limited what only to only what had been necessary. Dumbledore had only asked him to watch over the boy, not entertain him, after all. Not that it had mattered. Snape was left with the distinct feeling that Potter was furious at him over something, and both avoided the one another at all costs.

After telling Harry to stay put for the evening, Snape turned in early and fell asleep surprisingly fast. It was a quite a few hours later when he had finally awoken. He figured it was around 2 or 3 in the morning. Walking into the other room to check everything was okay, he was surprised to see that Potter was still awake. The boy was huddled on the sofa. The blanket he had been given was wrapped around his shoulders and he gazed into the fire, lost in his own thoughts.

Snape trembled slightly. The sight reminded him so much of the first vision he seen of himself in the mirror. Potter's jaded expression even reminded him slightly of his own.

The vision… Snape's heart jumped as he realized the mirror had been left in the lounge the night before. He had left in on the floor… next to the sofa. Eyeing the room wildly, he noticed it wasn't in sight.

"Where is it," Snape growled.

Harry jolted in shock. He hadn't sensed Snape presence before he had spoken. He looked at him wide-eyed for a moment before Snape's question seemed to register. "The mirror?"

"Yes, the mirror. Now were is it?"

Harry shuffled over a bit and grabbed something off the small table to his right. "I didn't do anything with it. I swear. Just moved it off the floor."

Snape came over and took the mirror. "I'm sure," he snickered. All the same, he believed the boy. There was just one thing. "How did you know I meant the mirror?"

"I just knew." The was a short moment of quiet before Potter babbled on, "I mean, I wanted to look at it. It sort of calls to you, but after want happened last year… well, I'm just not _that_ stupid."

Snape smirked at the comment. "Really? One never would have known."

Harry's expression darkened. He angrily tossed himself into the softness of the sofa and turned his back to Snape.

Snape raised an eyebrow at the display and went back to his own sleeping quarters. After settling back down into his bed, he got back up, sighing wearily. Pulling open a draw open from his bed side table, he pulled out a bottle and went back into the lounge.

"Here," he said, offering the vial to Harry.

Turning back around, Potter eyed him and the bottle suspiciously.

Snape frowned "Sleeping Draught. It will help you sleep." He imagined Potter would still be up by morning if he didn't do something about it.

Harry took it cautiously. "Thanks."

Snape headed back to his own room again, but paused at the door. When he saw Potter had drank what he had been given, he went back to get his own sleep.

End of Chapter 3

**Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. It caused me a lot of trouble. Hope it was ok though. Thanks for reading. **


	4. Discussions Just Get Worse

**Thanks and Comments:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! SlythCat19, athenakitty, the Desert Fox, Kateri1, xikum, HecateDeMort, MikiBaby. And once again thanks to my beta Sher.

**athenakitty-** Hmm, I suppose Harry may get new clothing. These fics tend to have scenes were that takes place. I like reading them, but for all I know people may be sick of reading them. As to when they find out when they are related, see below chapter.

**the Desert Fox-** Not 100 sure what part you mean in the first question so I won't even make an attempt at answering. Any answer I may give could be wrong. This does take place 6th year. Harry doesn't really trust Dumbledore as much anymore (though part of him would like to). In that scene, Harry was more concerned with proving Snape wrong than with his uncertainty about Dumbledore. Hence the "It didn't matter it wasn't true" line. Sorry if that didn't come across well enough. Nothing in your review was bashing. Your review was very helpful to me actually. I really appreciate constructive feedback. :) l'll address your shipping question below cause a few people have brought it up. Thanks again.

**Kateri1 -** Would love to comment, but that would be giving stuff away. :P

**xikum-** Thank you. blush Your review was very nice. What the witch was doing and who she will is come out soon. Most likely in next chapter. Snape and Harry will get to know one another of course and yes I'm planning on going in depth with the Snape/Lily backstory. The S/L stuff will come out slowly though.

**MikiBaby-** Normally I update every two weeks with other fics I do. This one though I seem to be taking longer.

**Shipper Stuff:** I'm really open shipper wise for Harry. Only ones you will not see for sure are H/H or H/C. I don't like them. They don't feel right to me. Right now I'm debating between three ships. I honestly don't know which it will be if any. I've been and will continue to be open to suggestions until it comes to the point were I introduce the ship. H/G is the one I was conciding from the start. I've never written slash, but a few people have brought up H/D to me. I may do that and the Susan Bones suggestion caught my interest as well. In the end I'm going to pick the ship that best fits with the plot I'm developing.

Harry woke with a sharp gasp. His heart was pounding and he could feel the perspiration running down his face. _Another nightmare,_ he thought as he tried to calm his breath.

Sitting up, Harry brushed some of the damp hair out of his eyes and groggily glanced up. Above him, Harry saw a sight he never in a million years thought he'd wake up to, the stern face of Professor Snape hovering over him.

"Get up Potter," Snape demanded in his usual unfriendly manner.

Harry reached for his glasses, but made no other sign he intended to move.

"I said get up!"

"All right!" Harry snapped back, his faced flushed with resentment. This was an awakening more befitting Privet Drive, not Hogwarts and it was worse because it was Snape. Scowling, Harry dropped to the floor and began wildly sorting through the pile of clothing he had brought with him. Angrily he grabbed a white shirt from the pile and glared back at Snape who had just paused at the door and turned around.

"Be ready in ten minutes," Snape said quietly and exited.

_Now he's being civilized,_ Harry thought bitterly. He threw the shirt on the sofa. Looking back down, he continued to go through the clothing so he could just get the hell out of there.

* * *

"I came to return your most prized possession. I can't say it's been very useful."

Harry scowled and Dumbledore appeared a bit taken back by the statement. His blue eyes darted from Snape to Harry and than back to Snape in question. "Severus, really. Harry's-"

Smirking, Snape held out the mirror to the headmaster.

"Oh," Dumbledore laughed cheerfully.

"Really Dumbledore, you really think I'd say something of that nature about Potter." Snape's eyes had an amused wicked gleam to them.

He took the mirror and gestured for them both to sit down.

Snape's smirk turned into a stiff smile. "Afraid not today. I'd like to leave before summer is over."

"I understand. Before you leave I'd like to know if everything went well last night."

"Yes. Clearly since you now find us here."

"Good." Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you for watching over Harry... and for returning the mirror."

Harry plopped down into the chair Dumbledore had earlier offered. Professor Snape was barely out the door when he launched into Dumbledore, "_Why_ did you place me with him last night?" Though he didn't want it to, the resentment shined right through.

"I explained that to Professor Snape last night in your presence. I assumed you had listened. Did you not?"

Harry's heart fell. He couldn't help it. He was disappointed, even after everything that had happened in the past year, at not getting a straight and honest answer. It was hard not trusting someone he had looked up to for so long and it was even more difficult to realize that person still had so much control over his future. "I know what you said," he replied calmly, "but I want to know why you _really_ did it."

"The reasoning I gave last night was true." Dumbledore paused. There was a sad look in his eyes. "But there is always that hope you two will settle your differences."

Harry huffed. "We'd get along fine if we didn't have to speak to one another." He still wasn't satisfied. He had a dreadful feeling that Dumbledore was hiding something from him again. "And that was all?"

Dumbledore nodded silently.

Most of the day had been rather dull for Harry. Dumbledore had seemed extremely busy so Harry did his best to stay out of the way. That was something he was good at given his years at Privet Drive. It was hot, so he had settled down by a open window with a book Dumbledore had given him. It had been interesting enough, but he really hadn't been in the mood for ancient history, even a magical one.

His mind, like a magnet, was repeatedly drawn to the middle drawer in Dumbledore's desk. Harry had seen the headmaster place the mirror there after Snape had left. He had even asked about the mirror during lunch. Dumbledore explained what it did, vaguely at first, but Harry decided to pursue the topic and asked him several questions. The more he learned about the mirror, the more his interest was piqued. He had asked if he could use the mirror, but Dumbledore had declined much to his disappointment. Harry had an idea though.

"Professor?"

Dumbledore looked up at him through his half moon glasses. "Yes, Harry?"

"I was thinking. I believe I know a way to find out what that witch was up to."

"And how is that?"

"I could look into the mirror and see what would have happened if she had been able to finish the spell." Harry gave a huge forced smile and felt rather ridiculous doing so.

Dumbledore didn't answer. He dipped his quill in the ink and scribbled a few more lines on a piece of parchment he had been writing on. He then placed it in an envelope and addressed it. He then placed it in an envelope and addressed it. _Dr. and Dr. Granger._ Harry's brow furrowed in thought. _Hermione's parents, must be school related,_ Harry decided. _Dumbledore must be congratulating her family on Hermione being the first student to get better than perfect scores on all her OWLs or something._ His mouth quirked up in a goofy smile. _If that's even possible,_ he mused.

Harry was sure that Dumbledore had decided to ignore his idea when, with a sigh, the headmaster placed his quill down and opened the middle drawer of his desk. Handing the mirror over to Harry, he explained how it was used once again.

It hadn't taken long. A few minutes later the vision had ended and he was staring into Dumbledore's inquiring eyes.

"Well?"

"Nothing," Harry said, confused.

"Tell me exactly what you saw."

"It was dark. Pretty much everything was in shadow. I saw the door fly open, which added some light, but not much. I saw myself running over to the chest to get my wand and the green light coming toward me. The spell went over me and I was in pain. The Dursley's were huddled in the hall, but this time the witch wasn't pushed, just yelled at. I guess that was the difference. When the spell faded, she used a memory charm on the Dursley's and did the same to me." Harry paused and scrunched up his face. "I was just the same. I have no idea what that spell did, I couldn't discern much else. Oh, but she was blonde and when she left we were all confused. Uncle Vernon yelled at me for waking them up and didn't remember the woman. We went back to bed and that was all."

"_Obliviate_?" Dumbledore said slowly to himself.

"Yeah, after second year with Lockhart I know_ that_ spell when I see it," Harry joked.

Dumbledore gave no reaction to what he had heard. He absently stroked his beard and gazed at nothing in particular.

"Professor?"

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering something else. I mean, I looked in the mirror already and well, I thought it wouldn't matter if I did so again. And I really want to see something more... well something other than what I saw. So can I?" Harry anxiously smiled at the question.

"Ah, so that was the objective all along, wasn't it, Harry?" Harry blushed, but Dumbledore's expression was kind. "And just what is it you wish to see?"

Harry looked down in discomfort. As much as he'd rather not say what it was, he wanted to see it all the more. "My parents. What it would have been like if they hadn't died."

Dumbledore bowed his head solemnly. "Are you sure you really want to know, Harry? It may be easier to never know."

"Yes, I do." His voice was insistent. "Please."

"Very well... If you're certain," he added firmly.

Harry nodded and looked back into the mirror. _I want to know what it would have been like if my parents had lived,_ he thought. He felt the familiar tug and when all had stopped, he found himself in a bright, airy kitchen.

Harry squinted as his eyes adjusted to the warm morning light, which was streaming through a large ornate window overlooking a garden. Everything was lush, green and pleasant. The only eyesore Harry picked out was a large, twisted tree a short distance from the garden.

"Can I do it, Mom?"

Harry blinked at the unexpected sound. Turning, he found he was far from alone. Behind him the kitchen was alive with activity. A dark haired boy was impatiently bouncing up and down on his heels and peering over the shoulder of his mother. Harry's mother, Lily.

"You need not ask," she laughed, handing him a spoon and getting up.

This allowed Harry to see what the two had been fussing over. That something was a plump baby girl. She was less than a year old and had a head full of thick hair that was black in color. She was sitting in a Muggle highchair, though for all Harry knew wizards used them too.

The boy took a big spoonful of yellow stuff out of the bowl to feed to the baby.

"Not too much," Lily called from the stove. She was checking up on the breakfast that was cooking.

The boy poured a bit of the mush back and than tilted the food into the unhappy baby's mouth.

Harry's heart was beating fast. _Family. His family._ They didn't look much like his mother or father, but that had to be his brother and sister. The boy even had his and his mother's eyes.

Lily wore pale green robes and a worn white apron. Her red hair was slightly messy and tied back by a matching green ribbon. She continued to busy herself around the kitchen, waving her wand here and there, getting chores done. Her appearance made Harry smile. She sort of reminded him of Mrs. Weasley. She just looked like a mother.

"Good morning," said a voice from Harry's right.

Harry stomach dropped, but he seemed to be the only one who felt something was wrong. A chorus of 'mornings' filled the room and Harry turned to see who had entered. His mind pleaded to be wrong, but he wasn't. As bizarre as it had been watching his mother with a brother and sister who had never been born, this was too much. _This _was a nightmare. It was Snape. He strode over to the small group like it was the most natural thing it the world. Lily turned to him as though she expected a kiss. Harry shuddered as _Snape _bent down and gave her one. He was going to sick.

"You do remember you need to take Julian for his school supplies today, right?"

"You coming?" Snape sat down and picked up a piece of bacon off the plate in front of him. His black eyes were intent on the two children in front of him.

Lily tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. "No, I have to give Shannon her lessons and carrying Keaira around all day would be-" Lily sighed. "Come right home after. I don't want you two to spend all day at the store making those potions of yours. It's your day off."

Snape's eyebrow challengingly rose and Lily rolled her eyes. Snape gave the boy what could be called a quick knowing smile.

Harry had a feeling this was a discussion they had had many times before.

"Dad said he'd take me to look at brooms and then to lunch," Julian said with a disappointed expression.

"After that then, but remember," she looked at the grinning boy and his father sternly, "no buying anything. Your old broom will do for now and you can't have one first year anyway." With the flick of her wand, Lily moved the last of the food from the stove to the table. "Julian, go call your sister. Breakfast is ready."

As the boy ran out of the room, Harry found himself back in the headmaster's office. He was sort of grateful it was over. He sat there silently until Dumbledore asked, "What's wrong?"

"I... it was... I wasn't in it, sir."

"That's not possible. Maybe you were there and didn't see yourself."

"No." Harry shook his head. "I don't think I was even alive in it."

"If that were so you would have seen nothing. It was your fate, given the certain change, you were seeing."

"I didn't ask about me. I asked about my parents." Harry cringed. "What it would have been like if they lived."

Dumbledore looked concerned. "And what did you see?"

Harry gave a sour expression as though he had been sucking on a lemon. "My mother, some boy, a baby and Sn-. Well the boy was feeding the baby and _Snape_ of all people walked in." He gave the headmaster a disgusted look. "It seemed like he and my mother were married and those kids were theirs." Harry glowered. "I wasn't anywhere."

Dumbledore's gaze was sympathetic, sad and uncharacteristically overwhelmed. It reminded Harry of how he had looked at him the day before, after he had felt Harry's forehead.

"Is there anything else you can tell me?"

For the third time in two days Harry told him everything he knew. Every detail he could remember. What they had said, what they were doing, everything right down the pale green ribbon in his mother's hair; all in hopes that Dumbledore could explain what he had seen away. When Harry had finished, he took a deep breath and waited for an answer.

"I wouldn't think much of it for now." The headmaster's demeanor became suddenly relaxed, almost cheerful. "Why don't you go down to the dining hall? Professor Lupin should be there and several of the Weasleys will be soon joining him. They want to see you."

_Not think of it! _Harry's face flushed in anger. He had told him all that in hope of an explanation and now he was told not to think about it. Dumbledore couldn't possibly think that he'd just drop it. "But-"

Dumbledore raised his hand for him to stop. "Tomorrow Harry," he said softly. "I promise. We'll talk about it then. Anything I say now would only be a guess. Now go see your friends."

Harry knew he wasn't going to learn anything today and he did miss Ron so he agreed. "Fine, but don't forget. You promised.

The whole thing left a bitter taste in his mouth.

* * *

Snape was bent over his fifth volume that day, taking extensive notes on rare Fleo seeds from Lithuania, when the bell sounded. Someone else was in the house. The bell indicated it was a member of the Order. He quickly scribbled down his last thought and marked the last passage he had been reading before going off to the lounge. There he found Dumbledore, near the fireplace he had just flooed in from. Concern lined his face.

"I don't mean to be intrusive, Severus-"

"But you will."

"Yes." Dumbledore took a seat and waited until Snape did the same before proceeding. "This is a matter of importance. It may not seem so, but it is something I need to know."

Snape gave a nod for him to continue.

"When you looked into the mirror, was there anything _unusual_ about the visions?"

Snape scowled at the question. "Of course things were different. That's the point of the mirror."

"Was there anything different worth noting?" Dumbledore carefully reworded the question.

"Yes, things were different," Snape said grumpily, avoiding the question. "And since you've asked so many questions, I'd like to do so myself. Why does this matter?"

"I told you that it was important. I prefer to say no more until I have further information."

"So I tell you everything you wish to know and you tell me nothing." He had been in this situation with Dumbledore before, but this time he could see no benefit for himself in it. "I would have never looked into the mirror if I had known I'd have to divulge any of it."

"Just answer me one question and if it is no, I will not ask any further. Were there or did you have any children in your visions?"

The corner of Snape's mouth twitched. He had been taken off guard and couldn't hide the fact the answer was yes even if he wanted to. Dumbledore knew him well enough to have all the information he needed.

"Who was the mother?" Dumbledore went on.

Snape crossed his arms across his chest and glared. He was incensed at having to discuss such a private matter and furthermore couldn't see the relevance behind this information.

"I must insist on your honesty. Who was she?" Any patience Dumbledore normally had with Severus was gone. Evidently this _was_ imperative.

"Lily Ev... Potter," Snape muttered, lowering his eyes. It had been painful to admit.

"I see," Dumbledore replied gravely. "And was there a son?"

"Yes."

"What did he look it?"

"Like myself... and Lily. He had Lily's eyes," he choked out, scrunching his own eyes shut.

"You've been of great help," the headmaster comforted, " but I need to ask you one last thing. You won't like it."

"I don't see what could be worse, _or more prying_ than what has already been asked."

"Were you and Lily ever intimate?"

Severus froze and stared blindly in shock. "That's none of your business!" He sputtered. Getting up, he towered over the old man, his normally pale skin tinged pink with anger. "I owe you a lot... for everything you've done for me; giving me a second chance, but I do _not_ owe you that."

"I allowed Harry to look into the mirror, Severus." Dumbledore told him calmly. "He saw a vision very much like your own. You, Lily and three children, including the boy."

Snape was in disbelief at the mention of the other two children. _Why would Potter see them as well?_ Snape wondered. Nothing made sense. He still didn't even know why this all mattered.

"Severus," Dumbledore said gently.

Snape glanced him in the eye for the first time since the conversation had started.

"I believe Harry is that boy."

Snape eyes went wide. "Impossible!"

"Harry had to be in his version of the vision," Dumbledore explained. "However, he was not, but the boy was."

"They look nothing alike," Snape rationalized. "You know how much he looks like that father of his."

"You know that there are ways around that. That witch was doing something to Harry. I suspect it has something to do with all this."

"It's not possible," he repeated. But deep down, he knew that it was.

End of Chapter 4

**Facts and Tidbits:**

Julian is Latin. It means downy-haired or youthful. I'm using this name for no other reason than I like it.

Keaira is Celtic. It means little dark one. Just is how I pictured her. :)

**Thanks for reading. Hope you all liked it. **


	5. Realizations Of The Bad Kind

**Thanks and Comments:**

Thanks to everyone who reviewed: SeparatriX, Kateri1, SlythCat19, xikum, lillinfeilds,  
Athenakitty, starangel2106, Jen, Starr Light1, HecateDemort, ennui deMorte, tia, Jedi Buttercup, lyress, Lavinia Lavender, srea, MikiBaby, JE aka Yessina, Adrienne Drusilla Daae

**Tia-** Aw sorry to tell you, but it won't be H/Hr. Yeah, I think she will end up with Ron in the books too.

**Lavinia Lavender**- Knew who it was the second I saw the name. Thanks for reading. Wow. I hadn't realized and I love LOTR. They are sort of similar.

**Adrienne Drusilla Daae-** Hey. Yeah I was thinking that they'd see atleast slightly different things myself, but decided to ignore that fact, lol. Don't worry. I have no plans to make Lupin evil. He's my third favorite character. I'd not have the heart to make him a bad guy.

She closed her eyes and slid down the rough dirty wall. Had it been three days? Four? Time seemed endless. _At least the Dementors are gone._ She couldn't imagine the hell of being caged with them for days, maybe even years, on end. Her human captors were hard enough. Rubbing her head she wondered when they'd come again. For hours they had questioned her, demanded details of horrible crimes she hadn't committed. And she was defenseless. Anything she would tell them would destroy the intention of her actions all together.

Her musings were interrupted by a sudden commotion down the hall. Low rumbles of agitated voices were coming her way.

"Are you sure that the Ministry would approve of this?" A disturbed high pitched voice of a man fretted. The rush of footsteps stopped. She strained to hear what was being said, but in vain. All of a sudden the footsteps began to recede. She thought they were leaving, but a pair or two of footsteps continued her way. "Up," she heard a guard call from beyond the cell door. "Someone wants to talk to you."

Knowing the drill, she did as told. She did her best to relax. She didn't know how long she be held for.

The guard flicked his wand over her, she felt her body stiffen and she knew the body bind had been completed. She couldn't move anything below her neck.

The guard left and the silhouette of an old man filled the door. He took a few steps forward.

_"Lumos,"_ said the familiar voice. His wand glowed and she could now see about the room.

"Professor Dumbledore," she gasped, embarrassed more than ever before at being seen in this state.

He came closer, far more than most of the Aurors dared, and gazed into her face.

"Rosemary."

She had expected him to be surprised, but his expression was one of whose suspicions had just been confirmed. And there was something cold about him. Nothing like the friendly headmaster she remembered from her youth.

"I-" Rosemary wanted to explain herself, but the words kept getting caught in her throat and when she tried to put on a proud face, she only found herself in tears.

"I had expected Ambrosine Blain or maybe Charlotte Deville. Not you. You were always one to stay out of trouble."

There was no disappointment in his voice. There was no emotion at all, but her face flushed with shame never the less. Blinking away the tears, she willed herself to ask, "Why'd you think it was any of us?"

"It had to be someone Lily could trust and someone who was loyal to her, not James."

Her heart pounded painfully in her chest. _He knows something!_ But Rosemary had to make it seem like she didn't. "I don't know what you mean," she lied lamely.

"Yes you do, and we will discuss it." Dumbledore looked to the door. "No one will listen. I've seen to that.

And she believed him, but had to ask, "How?"

"The guard currently on watch for your cell is more loyal to those fighting Voldemort than the Ministry, who'd deny his return if they could."

Rosemary flinched. "Don't say that name!" she hissed. "Even those interrogators, they ask me about him non-stop; they're obsessed with the idea I know his plans, they won't even say it when they question me about him."

"They're asking the wrong questions, but I know the right ones." Dumbledore looked steadily into her eyes. "Tell me, what was Lily's plan? What did you promise her?"

She jarringly turned her face away from his forbidding gaze, but felt his eyes continuing to bore into her nevertheless. All was quiet except the panting of her breaths. She wanted to shake in fright, but was unable to. It felt like her insides were collapsing. "I can't tell you," Rosemary cried. She had as much as admitted that he was right.

"Tell me," he forcefully insisted.

"I. I promised Lily," She sobbed, " I promised her that I'd keep it secret. I'd never tell anyone, but her son." It was true.

The first trace of sympathy she'd seen since he entered crossed his face. "Harry knows nothing of this."

"Oh!" she exclaimed excitedly. "It's better that way. Trust me, he doesn't want to know."

"The spell didn't fully take. Whatever you did won't last." Her biggest fear. Only a few more seconds had been needed. _If not for that damn Muggle getting in the way._ She dropped her head in defeat. She had no choice now. There was another spell yet to complete.

"Harry will know soon enough, but none of the details. He is owed that." Dumbledore lifted her chin up to meet his eyes. "If I find a way, will you tell him?"

"Yes. I just need one thing."

* * *

Severus Snape paced the room edgily. It wasn't something he did often. No, it was something he never did, but then he never recalled being such a bundle of nerves either. His stomach was in knots. He didn't want this.

Snape figured that Dumbledore should have spoken to her by now. If they were lucky Dumbledore would of found out who she was and what she had been planning, but most importantly she'd tell Dumbledore that his idea that he, Severus Snape, of all people, being Potter's father was absurd. And he needed to hear it. Since yesterday, the idea that Potter may truly be not only a Snape, but also his son, haunted him. He just wanted to look back on this as some ridiculous blunder on Dumbledore's part

_Where the hell is he? _

As if knowing Snape had reached his last straw, Dumbledore appeared with a green flash in the fireplace.

Snape stopped in his tracks immediately. He didn't even wait for him to step out of it when he demanded, "Well?"

"You need to clean this fireplace Severus, " Dumbledore said, brushing some of the soot off his robes.

Snape glared sinisterly. Had it been a group of first years in front of him, they would have quivered with fear, but as was typical of Dumbledore, he only smiled. He then seated himself and waited for Snape to do the same. His demeanor was now deadly serious. Snape realized it was a strange repetition of the activities that had taken place in this very room less than a day before.

"It was Rosemary Ancell," Dumbledore plainly told him.

Snape blinked. He was astonished. He hadn't heard that name in some 18 years. She, of all the people he had imagined it might be, hadn't even been on the list.

"She has consented to speak to Harry. You will be there too, of course."

Snape grunted. "So you learned nothing?" He couldn't believe it. He'd have to suffer through this even longer before hearing that blessed word, "no."

"Rosemary affirmed nothing other than the fact she would only tell Harry-"

"And what if this is a ploy? Azkaban is not safe as it once was."

Dumbledore's expression became grave. "I would not take Harry to that place, even with the Dementors gone. It is full of evil. We will find an alternative way for them to meet." He shook his head. "You could not risk being spotted either. I too fear it will only be only a matter of time before it's occupants find a way out." Dumbledore paused as if he were gathering his thoughts and went on, "Lily _was_ involved in these activities. She did reveal that as well. It was enough for me to realize that what I thought is true, you are Harry's father."

Snape sank back into the sofa. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know what he was feeling; guilt, fear, an amazing and unexpected pleasure? He didn't like any of those. Disbelief? Yes, disbelief still filled his heart. He couldn't grasp this as being true. It wasn't true. Lily being involved meant nothing.

"Severus?"

Snape glanced up.

Dumbledore had that particularly sickening compassionate expression he seemed to save for when the worst of Snape's misfortunes happened. "We'll have to explain some of this to Harry beforehand."

"What if it's not true?" He spat. "You have _no_ solid evidence I'm anything to Potter. Assumptions, feelings, they can't be relied on. They lead people astray."

"Harry cannot walk into that meeting blindly," Dumbledore told Snape. "It would be cruel to him. He needs to know.

"Even if it is true, why must he know at all? If this was Lily's plan she didn't want him to know. And do you really think he wants this?" He smirked and gestured to himself. "The mean Potion's Master everyone hates, him most of all, as the one who spawned him. I may not know the boy well, but I do know he'd not want me as a second cousin, let alone his father."

"And what do you say we do?" Dumbledore inquired. "Talk to the woman. Force her, if necessary, to tell us what she did. If what you claim is true, we renew the spell. He'd never know."

While Snape was pleased with this idea, Dumbledore clearly was not. "He'll have to find out sometime and what do we say then about such deception?"

"That he was too young. That he had too much else to think about. Anything would suffice."

Dumbledore closed his eyes and bowed and shook his head. "I used that excuse with him once, more than once. The results were disastrous. It'd be unforgivable for me to do that again. I will tell him whether you wish it or not."

"Doesn't it occur to you that his being, not being James' son would cause some problems?"

"Yes, we'll figure out what needs to done when the time comes, but for now he needs to know."

"And we both know how this conversation will go. He'll get angry we'd dare think it, blame it on me for creating such a horrid lie and deny such a thing could ever be true."

"So much like his father," Dumbledore smiled.

Snape scowled.

"If that is how he handles it there is a way to make him believe," Dumbledore continued.

"How?"

"The mirror."

* * *

Harry glanced over to the fireplace. Lupin was down on all fours, backside up in the air, and was emerged to the shoulders in green flame. He was talking to Dumbledore.

"You know, in the Muggle world _that _would be considered an odd sight." He grinned at Tonks, who seemed puzzled at his statement. It only made him laugh. "What on earth are you doing?" He continued in a lighthearted tone. "Look at what you've done to your face. That's it. Off to the mental ward for you."

Her eyebrows shot up. "When did you become so twisted Harry?"

"Don't know." He shrugged indifferently and took another bite of his dinner. "Just bored, I guess."

Harry had barely had any time alone since coming here. It was the exact opposite of the few weeks he had spent at Privet Drive. But last night, unlike the one before, had been good company. The Weasleys, more particularly Ron, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, had visited him. Mrs. Weasley was ever doting and Ron and Ginny both made great conversation. It was great being around people his own age again. The events in the mirror seemed miles away.

The best part of the evening had been when Ron excitedly told him about Kyler, a new player for the Cannons. Ginny was less impressed. She had mocked Ron and said the new Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies would fly right by him when they met up. Both bickered about it till they started questioning Harry on what he thought. He had told them that he'd just be happy to be back on the Gryffindor team again. "You will be," Ginny had said cheerfully. "And you'll be the captain too. You'll be brilliant."

Ron seemed glum about the statement at first, but than smiled and leaned in and whispered something into Ginny's ear. Whatever it was, she hadn't liked it. Her eyes went wide, her face went red as her hair and she slapped Ron hard on the arm.

"What?" Harry had asked, confused.

"Nothing," Ginny answered, eyeing Ron with annoyance. "Ron's just insane."

Ron had just shrugged it off with an eye roll.

"What you thinking?" Tonks pried, bringing Harry back to reality.

"I think Ron may want to be captain of Gryffindor this year."

What makes you think that?"

Harry went on to inform her what had been talked about the night before. When he finished she had a mischievous smile on her face. "So what do you think?"

"Maybe," she drawled. Her eyes, which were currently violet, sparkled.

Harry became all the more confused, but that confusion slipped into something else as his mind wandered. His face suddenly felt flushed and his eyes dilated. He felt a bit dizzy. A sudden warmth was spreading through his body and Harry found himself unable to look away. Her violet eyes seemed so beautiful, and long, pitch-black ringlets that looked so soft, framed her face. Harry thought she looked like a stunning exotic princess. He couldn't believe it. It was Tonks, and he found himself blushing and gapping stupidly at her.

"You all right?" she asked him, reaching her arm out in concern, only to knock over her water glass in the process. "Damn!"

"Yeah," he answered awkwardly, pushing his seat back as the water began running off the table. He watched her get up and reflected over what had just happened. Out of nowhere, he had formed a crush on Tonks. A secretive smile formed on his face. _She's here to see me too,_ he thought. Harry felt startling pleasure at the idea.

Tonks still stood, wand in hand, to clean the table, but instead of doing so, she was studying Harry.

It made him unconformable again and he gazed down.

Few seconds later he heard Tonks say, "Hello, Remus."

"What's gotten into you?" he laughingly asked her.

Harry's eyes shot up in panic. Tonks now had a knowing expression on her face. Harry's stomach was doing flips.

"Nothing." Harry could tell she was doing her best to be serious and was failing.

"Ah huh," Lupin said with disbelief. He sat down and looked towards Harry. "The headmaster wishes to speak with you."

"You coming?" Harry asked and focused on not glimpsing at Tonks.

"He wanted to talk to you alone."

Harry smiled contently. _Dumbledore's keeping his promise._

"_You're_ in an extremely good mood all of a sudden. Happy to get away from us?" Tonks joked. She had just gotten done with drying the table.

"No, it's nothing like that. Dumbledore just promised me something and ya know." Harry felt he was just making things worse. "I've got to go," he said, getting up hastily.

At the door, Harry glanced back. Lupin and Tonks were talking, both smiling brightly. Their attention appeared to be fully upon each other. At first, Harry wondered if she had said something to Lupin about what had happened, but quickly did away with the notion. Lupin had reached out, and touched her cheek, pushing curls away from her face. Harry exited the room quickly. He had a feeling if he watched any longer they'd kiss and experienced a ting of jealousy at the thought. Suddenly, he had a feeling Tonks hadn't really come to see him after all. It took a minute, but he decided he was okay with that. It was his fault Lupin was alone after all.

Harry's mind was still spinning when he entered Dumbledore's office. The headmaster had appeared busy when he had first entered, but promptly placed what he was doing aside at Harry's arrival. He was not alone either. Snape was with him. He wasn't particularly doing anything, but his expression told Harry that Snape was contemplating one thing or another. The Potions Master was leaning up against a wall, causing one of the portraits to be askew. It's occupant was eyeing him nastily, but Snape was not paying him nor Harry any mind. Harry frowned. Maybe he was wrong about Dumbledore keeping his promise.

"Welcome, Harry," Dumbledore greeted him.

Snape shifted a little, but still didn't look over to him.

"You're not placing me with him again, are you?"

That had gotten Snape's attention. He fixed Harry with an intense expression, but Harry didn't see the anger he'd normally expect there.

"No," Dumbledore simply said. "Sit down, Harry."

Harry did as he was told and to his surprise, Snape did the same. Snape picked the seat furthest from him. While Harry normally would be glad, this time he got a chill. There was a tense energy running through the room. It was something foreboding. He had been in the same room with Snape a full minute and he hadn't even attempted to speak, let alone insult him. _Had he done something wrong?_ No, he hadn't. Not anything that he could remember, anyway. The last time Snape had been like this was after the pensieve incident. It told him something awful was approaching. Today wasn't going well for him at all.

"I thought we could talk over what you saw in the mirror yesterday," Dumbledore opened.

"Than why is _he_ here?"

"Professor Snape is here because this affair concerns him as well."

It all clicked, and Harry felt betrayed. "You told him!" he yelled. "You told him. You actually told _that_ git! How could you?"

Dumbledore's eyes were warning him. "Harry-"

"No!" He shouted, jumping up. "No, I trusted you." He had just had enough.

"Be quiet and listen already," Snape hissed. It was the first thing he had said since Harry had entered the room.

Harry threw himself down into the chair and pouted. It was childish, but he didn't care.

"I did tell him," Dumbledore admitted. Harry scowl deepened and he narrowed his eyes. It was betrayal. Part of him wanted to ask why, the other didn't even care. Now he was angry at Dumbledore in a way he hadn't been able to be after Sirius' death.

"I understand you're angry with me, rightly so, but I felt I had little choice. When you confessed to me that you were not in the vision, I began to worry. I had sensed something was dreadfully wrong after the attack. The wards being penetrated alone told me things were not as they seemed. And then the day after, in this office, when I had checked for spells on you, I found one had recently been cast upon you. That alone was not shocking. What did shock me was that there was another one present. An older one, one that was fading."

Harry was now pale. The spell had felt familiar. He just couldn't place why. His anger forgotten, he asked, "What does that mean?"

"At the time I was not certain, but my worry was ever increasing. The next clue came after you looked in the mirror and told me what you saw. No noticeable differences. I admit at that point I had my suspicions, though I could not bring myself to say so openly. There still was doubt. That doubt, however, disappeared after the second vision when you claimed you did not see yourself. One _must _be present in the vision. It was then I knew, but I could not bring myself to tell you. I went to Professor Snape hoping he could enlighten me further on the subject. He did."

Both glanced to Snape, who was pale and clearly taking no enjoyment out of this conversation. "Both times," he said, staring blindly at a spot on Dumbledore's desk, "I saw a family. It was similar to what you saw, Potter. Details don't matter. I'll just say your mother and children were present. One of them being a young boy."

Harry was beyond confused. "What are you saying?"

"Harry," Dumbledore said calmly. "You had to be in the vision in the mirror."

"But I wasn't."

"Yes, you were. The boy is you."

"Me?" Harry laughed nervously. "That makes no sense. He looked nothing like me."

Dumbledore remained quiet as though he wanted him to work it out himself.

"You're saying that in the vision, I was disguised to look that way? Right?" He voice was pleading.

"No, I'm saying that is your true appearance."

Harry stared wildly at Snape, who peered at him through his curtain of hair. His eyes said so much, he was horrified, yet his voice remained silent.

Harry was lost for words himself. His mind was spinning. The implication of Dumbledore's words disgusted him. "It's not possible," he cried harshly. "I'm James' son." Tears were stinging his eyes and he shook slightly.

"I have spoken to the witch who entered your home a few nights ago. She is an old friend of your mother's from her days at Hogwarts. Rosemary was fulfilling a promise she made to her."

_Mum,_ Harry mouthed. _My mother has something to do with this?_

"She is willing to speak to you. Tell you what happened."

"I don't give a damn," he said halfheartedly. He just wanted to be left alone.

"You should know how this all happened, Harry."

"Then let her tell you!" He shouted.

Dumbledore sighed. "She'll only talk to you. She promised your mother that. She will tell you and you alone."

Harry wanted to lash out, to blame and accuse someone. Last time he had done so it had been towards Snape, and here he was, sitting right next to him. This time for sure, the man was partly to blame.

"This doesn't have to be a bad thing, Harry," Dumbledore comforted.

"I know what your thinking, that I'll just forget everything that's happened. That suddenly everything will be fine between us. Well, it's not and it won't be. I told you."

"You do possess family now Harry."

Snape made some incoherent sound at the statement. He looked like he had just been slapped across the face. "I never said-"

Dumbledore threw his hand up to silence him.

That fueled Harry's thoughts all the more. "Do I?" he jeered, staring nastily at Snape. "I learned long ago blood doesn't mean family." Harry paused and than asked aggressively, "And how do we know she is not lying? She'd not be the first to attempt at destroying my life." He knew lack of logic was behind his words, but he didn't care.

Dumbledore sighed again. "I didn't think any of the evidence I'd give you would be enough." He picked up the mirror from his desk, peered into it and with a resigning nod handed the mirror to Harry. "Ask it. It will show you your true self."

Harry took the mirror and tried to steady his hands, which were shaking. His eyes laid on the back of the mirror with it's bird, noble looking and clutching a Sapphire in it's beak, and readied himself for the task. Turning it over he looked at his reflection, that of Harry Potter, son of James Potter, but Dumbledore's words played over in his head, "Ask it. It will show you your true self."

_Show me,_ he thought without ever even realizing it. The mirror fogged blue and as the mist faded the boy from the vision stared back at him, a little older, his hair quite a bit longer, but it was him.

Harry dropped the mirror into his lap and his hands flew to his face to cover his eyes. "Happy?" His voice squeaked in pain. He curled up in the chair, his hands wrapped around his knees. He wanted to be small. He wanted no one to ever be able to see him.

"Why? Why is it always me!" he ranted. "Prophecies, having people want me dead, Sirius dying. everyone who comes near me dies. And now _this."_ He laughed through his tears. "I'm trying to figure out which is worse, and I don't know. I really don't." He was shaking violently now. All the pain of the past month was hitting him like a bludger to his gut. Harry felt like he had finally cracked.

"Severus, go get a calming potion."

He didn't have to be asked twice. Snape practically ran from the room. Harry didn't blame him for once. He wanted to run too.

Hearing the door shut, Dumbledore came over and drew a chair over. "It will be alright," he smoothed placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Harry snapped, moving back and wiping the tears away with the back of his hand.

"I know you have not always be on the best terms with him, but it would not hurt to try. Start afresh with this new realization. Don't continue to wallow in depression. I realize it all hurts, but you need to face it and ready yourself what is to come. This can be to both of your benefit. I would not say this if I did not know that a family is something you've always wanted. But I will not force you, nor do I believe will he."

"Of course not," Harry sneered. "Did you see his face? He can't stand it anymore than I can. He hates me."

"He's in as much shock as you are. You're both been alone so long."

"And you have some idea to change that," Harry snickered.

"I told you I didn't, but I won't lie and say that I don't wish it."

"I hate him. And now you're telling me my mother is a whore."

Dumbledore frowned. "I said no such thing," he scolded.

"Well what then? She was married to James, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was-"

"I'm a bastard and she was _ashamed_ of me."

"No, Harry, she loved you."

"She was ashamed. Why else would she hide what I was? I never really cared that the Dursley's hated me. I did want them to love me, but I accepted they never would. I thought James loved me, maybe he did, but he never even knew what I was so it doesn't count. He hated Snape. He'd hate me too if he had known. and Sirius." The list went on in his mind, Ron, all the Weasleys, and Lupin, everyone he cared about. "And now the man who really is my..." he grimaced, "...my father hates me. He did from the first time he ever saw me. But Mum is the worst. Out of everyone I thought she loved me the most, you know?" He looked into Dumbledore's blue eyes.

"She loved you, they all did. They gave their lives for you Harry. That takes a great love. No matter what else may have happened, always remember that."

Harry nodded as though he believe the headmaster's words and the two settled into a mournful silence.

Snape soon returned to the room far more composed than when he left. He held the potion out for Harry, who ignored it till Snape indicated again for him to take it. "Potter."

Harry flinched at the name. It would never feel quite as right ever again. He took it from Snape's hands, careful not to touch the man he so despised, the man that conceived him. Harry sipped the potion and felt a bit better. Taking the rest, he leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes, feeling peaceful for the moment.

End of Chapter 5

**Facts and Tidbits:  
**  
Rosemary- (English) Bitter Rose

Ancell- (English) Servant

**Thanks for reading. **


	6. Misunderstandings

**Thanks:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: SeparatriX, starangel2106, Adrienne Drusilla Daae, Athenakitty, Kateri1, xikum, HecateDemort, Pure Black, Starr Light1, Jedi Buttercup, Thirteen Ravens, Nimohtar

**Adrienne Drusilla Daae-**Glad you liked the Remus/Tonks stuff. It wasn't planned, but it will be coming back into the plot later on. Rosemary will be in the next chapter and a lot of the info involving how she knows this, how she got involved in this, etc will come out. Will Harry be changing his name? Yes, if the plot I'm planning stays as is. How will I handle that? I think how you said in your review. I'll try to not make it that confusing. Any advice (from you or anyone else who has an opinion) would be appreciated of course.

**xikum-** Yup. Backstory will be coming up (not this chapter though) and hopefully Harry and the reader ;) will understand things better.

Snape's gaze was fixed on the boy that was curled up in a chair sleeping, a side effect of being so emotionally distraught and the calming potion he had taken a few moments earlier. He looked young for 16; like a small child that had cried himself to sleep. Severus still had a hard time believing Harry was his son. It was more than just his resemblance to James that made it so difficult to swallow. There was also his impulsive Gryffindor behavior, his absolute ineptitude in potions, plus the boy had made it no secret that he hated the Potions Master with a passion. Snape found he was both relieved and a little embarrassed that Potter would act so negatively to the idea that he could be his father.

"You seemed a little detached in there," Dumbledore said softly.

"And you weren't?"

"Yes, but in a different way." Dumbledore paused and studied him through his half moon spectacles. "Perhaps talking about it would be helpful?"

"As fond as you are of these heart to hearts don't you think even you have had enough today? Or would you enjoy seeing more pain?" Snape muttered.

"It's the people I have the 'heart to hearts' with I'm fond of, Severus, not seeing those people in pain. And don't look so surprised. Surely, by now you understand I-"

Snape waved him to stop and pursed his lips tightly. "Always the champion for the lost and emotional damaged."

"They're the ones that need the most care."

"I'm not your charity," Snape snapped.

"No, you're not, but over the years, you've become like a son to me," Dumbledore said sincerely.

Snape looked away quickly.

"Seems somehow fitting," Dumbledore continued, "that the other child I felt that for would be your flesh and blood. What I said to Harry goes for you as well, give it a try."

Snape huffed. "I'm not the fathering sort. Potter would have been better off if it had been Crabbe or Goyle with whom Lily had a tryst with. Maybe even both," he smirked.

Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You've never spoken so lightly of what you and Lily shared before."

"It's time I put that in the past."

"You?" he said, somewhat incredulously. "Putting something in the past? I'm amazed." Dumbledore's eyes sparkled. "And very convenient too, that it would happen at such a time."

Snape glared. "Any word when we'll be able to speak to the woman?"

"Rosemary will be facing a panel at the Ministry of Magic in the next day or so. They want to discuss her unwillingness to disclose things to them." He smiled. "It will be a perfect opportunity for us to meet with her."

"Good, I want this done with." Snape pinched the bridge of his nose nervously.

"Severus, responsibility of having a child doesn't end in a day."

Snape frowned. "And what would you have me do? Neither of us care for the other in any manner. You saw the fit he threw."

"Harry has a lot of anger in him," Dumbledore said sadly. "I must admit a large part of that is my fault. His resentment would not nearly had been as consuming had it not been for his years with the Dursley's. Those years alone scarred him and since then his fury has only grown."

This did not shock Snape. The glimpses he'd of Potter's past through Occlumency indicated an unhappy youth. It hadn't been what he had pictured when Potter walked into his class his first year. Snape had just assumed that Potter's past was just like his father's, pampered with doting parents, or in Harry's case, relatives at his beck and call. Now he realized that Potter's youth was indeed like his father's… he had just gotten the identity of the father wrong.

"As I can tell," Snape replied. "I seem to be the focus of much of that anger."

"Are you surprised?"

Snape paused briefly before answering. "No, though I never believed the consequences of alienating the boy would be what they are."

"Do you regret it?"

The side of Snape's mouth twitched. _Wouldn't be the first thing I regretted,_ he thought. "He'd be better off without my presence in his life, without a parent who can't stand the sight of him. I will not add to his anger issues more than I already have."

"Is that what this is about? Are you afraid of being like your father?"

"I said nothing of my father," Snape spat, "and I could never be like him anyway. Potter has _no_ expectations of me and it will remain that way."

Snape realized that now, in a small way, he was just like his father and he loathed the fact. He had spent the last seventeen years trying to be as little like his father as he could manage. True, they were both considered unpleasant, but at least he was so in a totally different respect than his father was. He almost had a perverse urge to start being nice to Potter because it was something his father would never do.

Almost.

* * *

Harry was startled awake by a sound across the room. He must have dozed off for a minute because Dumbledore and Snape were talking rather heatedly. Dumbledore was saying something about the responsibility of being a father. Harry almost laughed at the absurdity of Snape trying to be a father to him. That was until they began discussing a subject far more personal to him, his feelings or as they phrased it, his anger issues. 

_Oh is that so?" _he fumed. _If only they knew the anger I was feeling right now. _

Harry ground his teeth and resisted the urge to jump up and yell at them for daring to speak about him 'behind his back'. He stilled his body and stifled his breath as if any move may uncover the dishonesty of his eavesdropping. He wanted to know, not assume like Snape and Dumbledore were doing, what they truly felt about this subject. Snape had no desire to have anything to do with him, it seemed. Harry wasn't shocked, but he found himself surprisingly bitter.

_Typical,_ he thought._ Why would someone actually related to me, want to have anything to do with me? _

"Are you sure that is what you want, Severus?" Dumbledore asked him referring to the idea that Snape would not allow Harry to have any expectations of him. "I regret little of my personal life. It has been pleasant enough, but one thing I do look back upon with regret is never taking time to marry and have children; to have a normal life." Dumbledore sighed. "I'm 152 years old. You'd figure I would manage to fit that in there somewhere, but I never did. Maybe that is why I'm pushing for this so much. I'd hate for you do the same. Especially now that you have an opportunity that I would have loved to have had for myself."

Harry felt a dull ache in his heart. It was odd thinking of Dumbledore on that level. Harry had always wanted a normal life, but Dumbledore? He always seemed so beyond all that. The man had lived a long life in which he had done many great things. He had touched so many lives and was thought to be the greatest wizard of his time; he had done all that and yet he still wanted something so simple.

"I don't know what I want," Snape said. "And if I did, I don't know if it would actually matter."

"What is it?" Dumbledore asked gently.

Snape laughed oddly. "What I want, I suppose, was what I saw in the mirror…" His voice sounded so vulnerable, Harry had a hard time believing it was even the horrible potions master he had grown to loathe. "_But_ it's not like I could ever have that. It's why I despised those visions so much, just as I despised James. He always had what I wanted. In those visions, I had everything I ever wanted, at least what I wanted when I was younger."

Harry remembered his vision clearly. Snape had almost seemed human then. Harry sort of felt like that about him now too. He felt bad for Snape somewhat and that left him confused.

"It's not entirely too late," Dumbledore whispered.

"Isn't it? I'm used to coveting; never having. If I ever achieved something I wanted, I'd likely not know what to do with myself. All that is dead now anyway, it all died with Lily."

"Harry isn't dead."

"He might as well be."

Harry felt his face redden with rage at the statement.

"If you continue thinking like that, then yes."

"What the hell is that supposed mean?" Harry shouted before he realized he had done so.

Both men appeared startled and looked at him with wide eyes.

Dumbledore recovered first and took a few steps towards Harry, who was now sitting up.

"It means if the two of you don't try to work things out then you finding out that you're related will mean nothing. Everything happens for a reason and nothing positive can come from this is you don't try. I believe, I told you _both_ that earlier." Dumbledore let his troubled gaze shift between Harry and Severus, finally letting it come to rest on Harry.

"Oh," Harry said, though he still felt suspicious and wondered if Dumbledore was telling the truth.

Snape wore a smug annoyed look on his face. "You might wish to inform people you've awaken instead of listening in on private conversations."

"Couldn't be that private if you had it with me in the room." Harry's face took on an expression that rivaled Snape's for smugness.

Snape scowled. Harry bet Snape wished it was during the school year so he could take a hundred points away from Gryffindor for his rudeness.

Harry couldn't help himself. He gave a small cheeky smile.

Harry strolled slowly through the halls of Hogwarts. He needed time by himself and knew this was the only way he'd get it even though Lupin would be expecting him soon. If Lupin asked Harry why it took so long for him to get back from Dumbledore's office he'd simply say he lost his way. It wasn't that unbelievable given their current residence in an unfamiliar part of the castle.

Physically, Harry felt worn and tired, but emotionally he felt wide awake. He was awash in emotions, each drastically different than the last. This all was a bit too much to handle even for Harry who had suffered so much in his short life.

Dumbledore had asked where Harry wanted to spend the night. Snape had tensed, but didn't seem otherwise put off by the question.

Harry had told them with Lupin and did his best to ignore the disappointment in Dumbledore's eyes. He'd do what he wanted and in his own time. He was disturbed enough at the fact that the conversation between Dumbledore and Snape had made him consider the possibly that he and Snape may be able to be on semi friendly terms someday. It seemed even more wrong than him turning out to be Snape's son.

They had agreed to talk further on the subject tomorrow or at least Dumbledore and Snape had. Harry had just shrugged in a 'whatever you want' fashion. He knew whatever they wanted was exactly what would end up happening and he didn't feel like pretending otherwise.

Reaching the set of rooms at last, Harry sighed and knocked on the door. Lupin answered with a confused look on his face, until he saw it was Harry.

"You don't have to knock you know."

"I didn't know if you and Tonks were… err… busy."

Lupin laughed, gave Harry an astonished look, and moved out of the way so he could enter.

"Hey, Harry," Tonks said from across the room.

Harry waved unenthusiastically and laid down onto the sofa. Cuddling into the cushion, he closed his eyes, hoping they'd leave him alone.

Harry heard rustling and whispering across the room for a few seconds before Tonks said, "I better go. Tomorrow is double shift between the Order and the Ministry."

"Bye," Harry said, without opening his eyes.

Harry heard the door close and Lupin walk back over to him.

"What's wrong Harry?" Lupin asked worried.

"Nothing," Harry lied. Harry opened his eyes, which still stung a little from crying. He was sure they were red.

Lupin was seated in a chair beside him. His head was tilted to show he wasn't buying it.

"I can't tell you, all right?" Harry wanted to yet he didn't. He was confused about that like everything else. Lupin had always been so understanding, but would he be this time? Plus he had been told not to. _What could Dumbledore and Snape really do to me if I did?_ He wondered. They needed him far more than he needed them.

Lupin nodded yet still appeared worried. "Come on," he said encouragingly. "We'll settle down for the evening. I'm sure we could find something for us to do. I found an old chess board laying around. Would you like to play?"

Harry really didn't, but nodded anyway not wanting to worry Lupin more then he already had.

The evening was filled with plenty of tea and numerous games of chess. Lupin won them all, but spent his time patiently explaining the game to Harry in a way that Ron had never bothered. He found Lupin was a great teacher no matter the subject and Harry couldn't wait to try out all the tips he had been given next time he and Ron played.

Finally, Lupin got up and stretched. "Time for bed. It was awful of me to keep you up this late. Half the night is already gone."

"Doesn't matter," Harry said. And it really didn't. If left to his own devices, Harry wouldn't have been sleeping anyway.

Harry watched as Lupin began straightening up their mess and smiled, wishing the evening didn't have to end. "Why couldn't it have been him?" Harry muttered under his breath and sighed sadly. _He would have made a great father._

Suddenly, Lupin wildly whirled back around and stared at him in shock. The pain in his eyes was so intense, Harry couldn't help noticing. Without saying anything he went back to cleaning up after the two, though now his movements were stiff.

In took a minute before Harry realized. "Oh no! I didn't mean…" Harry's eyes pleaded with Lupin, hoping he'd understand.

"Goodnight, Harry" Lupin said softly.

"You don't believe me?"

"I understand. It's getting late."

Harry stomach dropped. He prayed Lupin really did believe him. He missed Sirius and the dreams of being cared for that came with him, but Harry wouldn't have sacrificed Lupin in Sirius' place.

As he closed the door, he heard Lupin whisper, "Sometimes I wish it had been me too."

Last night had hurt, Lupin couldn't deny that, but he didn't blame Harry. As much as Lupin wanted to, he knew he could never take Sirius' place. Harry had lost so much. All he wanted Harry to know was that someone was there for him to take care of him whenever needed. The boy deserved that much even if it came from a werewolf. He also had to admit there was that ever present selfish desire of his to be liked that followed him everywhere he went. To be everyone's favorite whether it be teacher, friend, mentor; it was his failing and he would not punish Harry for it.

Lupin had thought the two had started to bond. Maybe that is what made this all the worse. Last night had gone so well and it was his own fault really. He had no right to expect a close relationship with the boy so he would remain silent on the subject. Harry had enough to deal with these days and adding guilt over his own incomprehensible wishes was the last thing Lupin was about to do.

It was a rapid knock at the door that finally dragged Lupin out of his brooding. It was too early for Harry to leave, he figured, it had to be something else.

"Minerva," he greeted.

"Hello, Remus," she said stepping into the room. She spotted Harry who was groggily shuffling out of the bedroom and suffering from a bad case of bed hair. "Hello, Potter. It's a little late in the afternoon to just being waking up, don't you think?"

"Err, yeah," Harry muttered, slipping sleepily onto the sofa.

"What can I do for you?" Lupin asked McGonagall, taking the focus off of Harry.

"I've come by to drop this off."

She handed him a bag, which upon opening, Lupin found was filled to the brim with notebooks and files. Pulling a few out he placed them on the table. Hearing a sudden thump of paper, he looked back to the bag. It appeared as none had been taken out. He repeated the act several times. Each time the results were the same.

"They're notes from Umbridge's classes." She gave a rare smile. "I was afraid they'd kill any owl that tried to carry it. I'm sure Potter's file alone could accomplish as much."

Lupin was still placing books on a table. His eyes had gone wide at the amount.

"I'm doubtful as to how useful they are, but Albus felt you should have them."

"Yes, thank you. I'll look them over."

"Mind you, I'd only take them with a grain of salt. Her comments have little to do with ability. Why she gave Potter the lowest marks of his class…" Lupin glanced over to Harry who was cringing. "…but he received top marks on his OWL. Speaking of which," she said taking an envelope from her robes, "here you are, Potter."

Harry got up and took the envelope from his head of house. He turned it over nervously in his hands before placing it aside.

"Aren't you going to open it?" McGonagall asked Harry.

"Err, no. Not now."

"Than I'd just like to say that you did well where it mattered." She frowned. "Though you came a bit short in achieving your goal to be an Auror."

Harry made no comment and was now helping Lupin lay the books out on the table.

Minerva sniffed at being ignored. "If you decide you'd wish to talk about it over the summer break, just let me know."

"All right." Harry replied, never looking up from his task.

She gave an inquiring look towards Lupin, who gave a sad smile. She nodded with understanding. "I should be going. I have things to do before the gathering. Will you be there?"

"Yes, I'm going to headquarters once Harry leaves." Lupin noticed Harry was now paying close attention to what they were saying, but trying to not make it that obvious. Lupin didn't blame him for caring about what was happening with the Order more than his OWLs. His life and the life's of others depended on it, but Lupin wished Harry would realize that what happened with his life after the war depended on what was on that piece of paper.

"Return it this evening," McGonagall said gesturing towards the bag as she left.

"What was that about?" Harry asked innocently once they were alone.

"Order business. I don't think there would be harm in saying that we're looking at possible recruits. It takes time. Spies at even lower levels can do harm so you'll be spending tonight with someone else." Lupin gazed at the massive pile of books and files now occupying the table. "This is ridiculous," he sighed. "We should have kept the books in the bag until I looked some of them over."

"Want me to stop taking them out?"

"Yeah, I'll finish. You need to go get ready. The headmaster wants you ready in an hour."

"Oh," is all Harry said before putting a book down and heading off to the bathroom.

Lupin found there hadn't been many books left when he went to finish emptying the bag out. Picking a random file he slumped into a chair and began reading what Umbridge had to say about 'her' students.

"This is an outrage!" Lupin roared as Harry emerged from the bathroom, hair still wet.

"What?" Harry walked over, wiping his glasses on his shirt and putting them back on.

"These files, they have little to do with school work. I have no idea how they even got that woman to hand these over."

"Maybe someone snuck up on her, did click-clocking noises and she dropped them and ran." Harry demonstrated the scene with a smirk.

Lupin smiled. He had heard of that awful Umbridge's run in with the Centaurs. "Maybe. I'll have to ask Professor McGonagall when I see her this evening. I'll let you know."

"So if they're not about school work, what are they about?"

"Lets see. According to Umbridge this girl is a half blood, possible half breed, vampire. It says she is pale, has never been seen outside and was once seen sucking the blood off her finger from a cut."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Real proof."

"Her parents claim to be neutral, but she suspects them of being in league with Dumbledore as if that were a crime."

"Why would she think that?" Harry broke in.

"Their daughter was overheard saying and I quote 'Fudge is a nutter.'"

"Sounds like Ron."

"You laugh, but it's not as funny as one might think. I'd bet you anything that this information is being used to create a blacklist. They are spying on people through their kids, making lists of those they deem dangerous."

"Isn't that what we're doing to the Death Eaters kids? Ron said-"

"That's different."

"How?"

"They are known dark wizards. These are just common people minding their own business and hoping for the best education for their daughter." Lupin sighed, much like his parents wanted for him. "I wonder how much of this made it's way to the Ministry. We knew they were keeping records on the teachers, but not this."

In the distance, a tolling bell could be heard. "It's time for you to be going. I'll see you in a day or two."

"All right," Harry said grabbing his stuff. "Bye."

"Don't forget your letter!"

Harry snatched his letter off the table, waved and exited the room.

* * *

Harry never got any further than the living room of Snape's house. It was decent in size and had a dark, lackluster quality to it. The room was basically bare except for a few pieces of well worn furniture. Harry was surprised to find there were no books present in the room. Somehow he figured that every room of Snape's home would contain shelves filled with books, just like his Hogwarts rooms did. A small table was set up for dinner, which Harry found odd, but Snape said he rarely entertained guests. From what Harry gathered Snape stuck to a few rooms and left most of the house untouched, the room they were in included. 

Harry kept to himself during dinner giving short comments whenever spoken to. Snape and Dumbledore talked about the current state of affairs mostly, something Harry realized he knew little of, and from time to time Harry picked up vague statements he knew were Order related.

It was after dinner, when the table had been taken away and they were all seated for the after dinner conversation that Dumbledore had really brought him into their discussions. "So what do you think of our Potion Master's home, Harry?"

"Never thought I'd be in this house," he said flippantly. That reminded Harry of something Snape had only said a few days prior. He turned to Snape. "_You_ said no Potter would ever step foot into it."

Snape gave him a peculiar expression. "What I said then still stands now."

"Yeah, since there aren't any 'true' Potters left," Harry spoke bitterly and glared. "But what does that matter? You meant me when you said that."

"All the old families are dying out. Soon, perhaps with in two or three generations, there will be none left. They don't have enough people left to marry. One would think they'd realize that when they preach their ideals." Dumbledore's voice betrayed the fatigue that he did not allow to show on his face.

Harry knew that Dumbledore meant the purebloods, the Death Eaters. It didn't take a genius to realize why Dumbledore had changed the subject. He and Snape most likely thought Harry was picking for a fight, maybe he was. Dumbledore's talk had diffused the situation somewhat, but had left Snape appearing very uncomfortable and the three of them in an agonizing silence.

"Have you gotten your OWL results yet, Harry?" Dumbledore inquired, breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

Both men's eyes were on him. Harry knew they were waiting for him to say more. "I haven't actually looked at them yet," he said sheepishly.

"Why don't you open them now than? Do you mind, Severus?"

"Why would I?"

The question remained unanswered as Harry took the envelope from his robes and nervously turned it over in his hands, studying the Hogwarts seal. Slowly, he ran his finger along the edge, breaking it and unfolding the sheets within.

"About what I expected," he muttered at last.

Glancing up, Harry knew his remark didn't satisfy the man so rather than explaining, he handed the letter over to him. Dumbledore's eyes gazed leisurely over the parchment, leaving Harry with an anxious feeling inside. Snape, in the meantime, was quietly sipping his tea and seemingly minding his own business. Although Harry noticed that he was looking at the letter from the corner of his eye the entire time. He suspected that Snape was dying to know it's contents. Finally, Dumbledore folded the letter up and moved as if he was going to hand it back when he stopped.

"I think that the Professor here would like to know how you did as well." Dumbledore eyes twinkled while Snape's face remained neutral. "It wouldn't be fair to leave him out of the conversation now would it?" Dumbledore smiled cheerfully.

"Fine," Harry said resentfully, resisting the urge to snatch the letter back. He had worried about Dumbledore's opinion, one which he had yet to get, but Snape's impression somehow bothered him more on so many different levels. First, the man was bound to be critical of anything he saw there, it was in his very nature. Second, Dumbledore wouldn't have dreamt of asking Harry if Snape could see the letter had it not been for a certain revelation that had been made a few days beforehand. Third, looking at the letter seemed to be Snape embracing what it meant to be a parent, even in a small way. That scared Harry a bit. Maybe, he told himself, Snape is just using his new position to his advantage and doesn't care about his results for any reason other than to make a few snide remarks. That would be a relief, he told himself.

Upon being handed the letter, Snape's eyes drifted down towards the middle of the page. Harry figured he wanted to know his potion's grade first. He would if he were in Snape's place. The anxiety of that moment was far worse than Harry could have ever imaged it would be and he cursed himself for caring. And of course Snape's face remained motionless. He had no idea what the man was thinking.

With what resembled a grunt, Snape handed the letter back to him.

It was Dumbledore again who was first to speak. "You did well, Harry."

"I suppose, though I failed three subjects." Astronomy, Divination and History of Magic were a wash. At least, he repeated to himself for what must have been the millionth time, he'd not have to take them any longer.

"Yes, but you did well enough in the rest of the subjects and now we have a basis for any plans we may form."

Harry didn't have a clue what Dumbledore meant by that, but Snape flinched.

"What?" He asked confused.

"The headmaster believes we may be able to use our… relationship to our advantage." There was a long drawn out pause before Snape continued, "We believe that the spell that was placed on you won't last."

Harry yanked subconsciously at his hair, which hadn't felt the same since the night of the attack. "How long?"

"It's hard to tell."

"So you don't know?"

"No," Snape stated simply.

"By this time tomorrow, I hope we will have all the answers we need," Dumbledore interjected.

Tomorrow they would be seeing Rosemary.

End of chapter 6

**Don't worry. You'll find out how Harry did on all his OWLs in a chapter or two (more likely two). Anyway, hope you liked it. Thanks for reading. **


	7. The Resolution

**Notes:** I wrote a short and dark Snape/Lily ficlette. Go to my profile if your interested in reading it and if you do please review!

**Thanks to all who reviewed: **SeparatriX, Athenakitty, Kateri1, HecateDemort, ennui de Morte, Thirteen Ravens, Adrienne Drusilla Daae, Lady Ana Maira Lorinan, Sakura Saisaka, MikiBaby

**MikiBaby-** Aw sorry. The OWL scores had no way of fitting into this chapter at all but I hope to have them in the next chapter.

_"It's too cold to be going out for a walk today," Rosemary complained grumpily, clenching her jacket, which was the color of coral closely to her body. It was January and she was visiting the Potter's home for the day. It had just snowed the night before and it was freezing out. Still, Lily wanted to go for a walk. _

_"I wanted to get away from the house," Lily informed her. _

_Rosemary laughed. "And that pesky warm fireplace. Is Sirius bothering you again?" _

_"No." _

_"I find it funny," Rosemary said lightly, "I'd do _anything_ to spend time with him yet he spends all his free time at your house." _

_"You're welcome to take him whenever you want, though you may have a hard time prying him off James." There was a bitter edge to Lily's voice. _

_"Ah, so he was bothering you?" _

_"I said he wasn't." _

_"Was it that snide remark they made about you know who? I mean not _You-Know-Who_, but you know." _

_Lily's eyebrows rose in astonishment. "His name is Severus." _

_"Mhmm. Well, I saw your face when Sirius said that." _

_"He always talks like that," Lily sighed. "I don't like it, but I'm use to it. It wasn't quite what was bothering me." _

_"Then what is?" _

_As Lily walked she picked up the pace, heading towards a grove of trees that covered the Potter's land. Given the ankle deep snow and her cursed short legs, Rosemary had some trouble keeping up, so she was thankful when Lily remained silent. She knew she wouldn't have been able to talk without sounding winded. _

_Lily finally slowed down. Her cheeks were now bright pink and she rubbed her gloved hands together for some warmth. She had a determined expression on her face, like someone who had just made an important decision. "I want to tell you something," she said slowly, "but you must promise never to reveal it to anyone." _

_Rosemary couldn't help but feel a bit hurt that Lily would doubt her. "All right, Lily." _

_"I'm having a baby," she stated plainly. _

_Ecstatic, Rosemary threw her arms around Lily, giving her a hug which Lily did not return. "Oh, Lily, a baby! Is James happy?" she asked excitedly. "Well, of course he is happy, why wouldn't he be? Have you thought of a name, and oh you'll need to redecorate that room... Lily, why are you looking at me like that?" _

_Lily gently pushed her away and glimpsed around. Her eyes were sad, almost frightened. "I haven't told him yet." _

_"Why not?" _

_Lily fell into a pensive silence once more as they continued to trudge along until they reached a clearing in the trees. Rosemary recognized this area. In the summer, it'd be a blossoming garden, but was now dead under the winter's snow. Somehow, it still seemed beautiful. _

_"It's not his," she said at last. _

_"Lily!" Rosemary shrieked. _

_Lily paused at a bench, brushed the snow off and sat down. "I know what you're thinking," she said, glancing up at her. _

_"I'm thinking so many things I don't know where to start," Rosemary frowned, putting her hands on her hips. _

_Lily smirked and laughed miserably, "Yes, you do." _

_Rosemary joined her on the bench. "The child is his, isn't it?" _

_"If by 'his' you mean Severus', yes, of course. Who else's would it be?" Lily's tone was calm and even. _

_Rosemary blinked. "Well, ideally your husband." _

_"I meant besides him," Lily replied dryly. _

_"Are you sure it's not James' child? I mean, maybe it's just your fears running away with you. It was only one night. Surely you've been with James many times since." _

_Lily laughed bitterly once again. "No, you see, that's why we've been fighting like cats and dogs lately. He's frustrated and justifiably worried. It's been over two months and I haven't been able to bring myself to be with him." _

_"Why?" Rosemary inquired and then rolled her eyes at herself for asking such a stupid question. _

_"My emotions and reality just don't match up," she said her voice even and thin as if she was in a trance. "When I think of what me and Sev shared it feels right. Not like the reality that was a wife betraying her husband. And when James gets affectionate," she shrugged, "I just feel like I'm betraying Severus." _

_"Well you're not," Rosemary huffed. "You're going to have to get over that." _

_"I know." She tilted her head, her eyes in a daze. "My excuses have barely lasted me this long. I kept telling James I wasn't feeling well, but not to worry I'd be fine in a day or so. After a few nights he insisted I see a doctor. I said I would… and then kept putting it off. At last, I had to give in and go. That's how I found out." Lily touched her stomach to accentuate the point. "And now I've been hiding this for the last two weeks." Lily was silent a few more seconds before adding, "I suppose, it's possible the baby is James', but my gut tells me otherwise. A small part of me is even glad." _

_"_How_ can you take this so lightly? You have any idea how _serious_ this is?" Rosemary shook her head. "Of course you do, but you're too calm given that you know what this means." _

_Lily sniffed and shivered slightly from the cold air. "No one will ever know who's child this is, at least not until it is an adult and hopefully things will have changed by then." _

_"This is not something you can just hide, " Rosemary said sternly. _

_"Yes, it is. It's something I _must_ hide and luckily for me I've gotten some recent practice in lying to James." _

_Rosemary gave Lily a disapproving glare. "He doesn't deserve to be _lied_ to." _

_"I know…" Lily whispered. "He's a good man." _

_"At least you recognize that. Now, just how were you planning on hiding this?" _

_"I've been doing some reading-" _

_"Not all answers come from books, not to mention hiding it would be wrong." _

_"You said it yourself, this would mean far more than the child and I being outcasts." _

_"Yes, I know that," Rosemary spoke rapidly. "They'd _love _to use this against you and all Muggle-borns. This is exactly why those pure bloods are so against marriage with your sort and having you in their community all together. Too many risks towards family lines and their _values._ As far as they are concerned all Muggles and therefore Muggle-borns are dim-witted, weak and morally bankrupt. It's all nonsense of course. A pure blood is just as likely to cheat on her husband as a Muggle-born after all, but in their minds the wizarding community is in danger of being corrupted." _

_"Exactly." _

_"That's why this shocks me so much, Lily, _you_ of all people. You've worked so hard at proving them wrong and now you have handed them all the proof they need." _

_Lily scowled. "I wasn't thinking of this when Sev and I were together, okay?" _

_"You weren't thinking at all!" Rosemary stamped her foot into the snow. _

_Lily sighed and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She looked weary and heartbroken. "If at the time, I hadn't been so foolishly worried about giving them cause to discriminate, things wouldn't be nearly this bad, not even close." Lily's voice was full of pain. _

_"Bad, Lily? Bad?" Rosemary spat. "I'm shocked… No _stunned_ you'd share your bed-- while _married_ mind you-- with a _Death Eater… _a god damn Death Eater Lily! How do you know this wasn't part of his plan?" _

_Lily's green eyes flashed angrily and her face reddened. Rosemary saw her hands were tightly balled into fists. "Severus isn't-! He-oh… Never mind." She bite her lip and pouting, turned her eyes away. _

_"What?" _

_"Nothing, I can't tell you…" She suddenly turned back to face Rosemary irately, "And I told you what happened!" she hissed. _

_"Yes, you did and I don't know how you forgave him for that!" _

_"Part of his plan?" Lily sniggered, changing the subject. _

_"You just told me your biggest secret and you can't tell me whatever your thinking?" _

_"The less people who know the better, with that as well as what I just told you." Lily desperately grabbed onto Rosemary's arm, her eyes searching the other woman's. "I need you to promise me that you'll never tell a soul." _

_"Sure," she said reliantly, feeling bad for yelling. "Though I'm surprised you chose to tell me at all." _

_Lily blushed. "I admit I need your help." _

_"Why me ?" Rosemary couldn't help but wonder. _

_"You're neutral in this whole thing…. You're known for saying we shouldn't even be involved in the whole mess with Voldemort, Dumbledore and their followers. If anything were to go wrong they'd never think to talk to you." _

_Rosemary's mouth twisted in displeasure. "Hhmhm. Now that I know I have little choice I suppose," she sighed. "What are you wanting from me?" _

_"I'm not a hundred percent sure yet," Lily told her shakily. "I'm not done with my research. I have six or so months left to figure it out, but I-" _

_Rosemary's eyes had gone wide. "Shhhh." Rosemary jerked her chin up and gazed past Lily to get the point across. Someone was coming. In the distance, two voices could be heard laughing and hollering. Rosemary knew it could only be two people; Sirius and James. As if affirming her guess, a few seconds later they came into view through the thick of the trees and they were walking towards them. "They're looking for us." _

_"Come on," Lily said anxiously, getting up. "It's cold." _

_"You think?"_

As Rosemary finished the first part of her tale, Harry cautiously took a few steps towards her while the other two men, Dumbledore and Snape quietly kept back. He remained wordless, but there was something brave about the boy. He stood tall and did his best to look her in the eye. _Lily's son. _Rosemary had never seen him quite like this, staring her in the eye, no spell to come between them. _His eyes. _They were Lily's, just as she remembered them. His eyes even had that hungry wild gleam to them that Lily got when she was learning something new, important and exciting. Otherwise he looked exactly like James, not by birth, but by magic. It seemed the spell had worked all to well. She idly wondered if she'd ever see the real him.

"It was a few months later before I had heard about it again. We met for lunch at this little pub on the very edge of Diagon and Knockturn Alley. I had no idea why Lily would have wanted to meet me there, particularly given what dark times it was, but she insisted. She was really showing by then. The conversation started simple enough, chatting about local news and gossip and about her home life. Things were still rough with James, but given the baby he was more understanding. The baby… she talked mostly about you, Harry. You'd think that everything was okay, that it was James' child and she didn't have any plans other than how to decorate the nursery. She was so happy."

Rosemary smiled at the memory and noticed she was the only one finding this line of conversation pleasant. Taking a deep breath, she dived right into the subject at hand.

_Rosemary wandered into the pub a few minutes late hoping Lily was still there… or did she? Her skin crawled at the state of the place around her. Once again she wondered why Lily picked this place for them to meet. It was not suitable for her let alone a woman with a child. It was rank, filthy and most of it's occupants seemed to come from the Knockturn Alley side of town. _

_It took a few seconds of gazing about the room before she finally spotted Lily. She was sitting by herself in a dark corner. Rosemary went over to her and sat down. _

_"Couldn't you have at least sat on the side near the windows?" Rosemary complained immediately. _

_"Hello to you too, Rosemary," her friend said with a smile. _

_"Sorry," Rosemary sighed and leaned down to hug the very obviously pregnant woman. "How are you and the baby?" _

_About a half an hour after they had ordered lunch, a very anxious moment for Rosemary who was certain the food must be poisoned, a young man joined them at the table. He had short blond hair and shockingly almost transparent blue eyes, which made him rather mean and scary looking. _From the Knockturn side definitely, _her mind screamed in warning. If Lily hadn't seemed to know exactly who he was, Rosemary would have dragged herself and Lily straight out of there. _

_Rosemary also noticed that the man didn't appear to trust her any more than she did him. He eyed Rosemary apprehensively until Lily gave him a slight nod as if to say that her being there was okay. _

_"_Silencio_," the man murmured the spell so they could have privacy before squatting down and staring Lily directly in the eye. The man than pulled a bundle from his belongings and placed it on the floor. His stubby fingers slowly pealed the dirty linen cloth away to reveal an old box made of oak which had inscriptions on it's beautiful cover. The man gently handed the box to Lily, who cautiously opened it up and glanced inside. Lily seemed pleased with what she saw and nodded in approval to the man. She covered the box back up and placed it aside. _

_The man then handed her a large book which was even more ancient looking than the box had been. Something about it gave Rosemary chills. Lily gently opened it's frail cover and flipped through it's pages in search of something. The man tried to peer over her shoulder to see what Lily was looking at, but she carefully kept the book's content obscured. Somehow, Rosemary knew he was wondering why this young, pregnant and clearly well to do woman would ever take interest in such material. Rosemary on the other hand and much to her dismay, had a better idea on what this was about. _

_When Lily found whatever it was she wanted she looked even more pleased than before, if that was at all possible. She pressed a heavy bag of money into the grateful man's hand, who poured a bunch of the coins onto the table, his eyes shinning with lustful greed, and started to count them out._ A hundred Galleons_, Rosemary swallowed worriedly as the man continued to count._ Two hundred Galleons_, she began to feel her heart race as she noticed the bag wasn't even half empty yet. Three, four, five hundred galleons were tallied and Lily barely seemed to blink. Finally eight hundred Galleons fell into piles before the man placed the last coin into it's heap. Rosemary was shocked. She couldn't help but wonder what on earth was so special about those two objects that Lily would feel they were worthy of such money._

_Satisfied, the man dumped the gold coins back into the bag and left with a bowing of the head and an enormous smile. He and Lily had never even said a word. _

_"What the hell was that?" Rosemary demanded when Lily remained silent and still. _

_Lily flicked her wand and renewed the privacy spell. "I couldn't just enter Knockturn Alley to get them, now could I?" _

_Rosemary gapped. "Lily! Dark items? James would_ murder _you if he knew you had anything to do with this. He'd be more forgiving if you just told him you shagged Snape and was having his baby."_

_Lily quirked an eyebrow before laughing. "Sadly, true." Lily became serious again. "I know what I'm going to do now. I'll need your help when the baby comes." _

_Rosemary nodded not wanting to let on how distressed she still was over Lily's plans. _

_"I just need a few more thing." _

_Rosemary frowned. _

_"Don't worry, nothing expensive. Just spell paint, a potion and James' blood," Lily listed as though it were no more than a grocery list. _

_Rosemary's eyes widened. "James'…" She went pale and exclaimed, "What are you going to do, drain him while he's sleeping?" _

_"If I have to," Lily said as though it were no big deal._

_Rosemary felt as though she was on the verge of tears. _

_"I only need a little," Lily forcefully added, seeing how horrified Rosemary was acting. "It- It's for a good cause." _

_"Is it?" she spoke at last. _

_"It's not only for me." _

_"Yeah, your 'sacrifice' for the masses," Rosemary said with distaste. "I've had some time to think about that. You should just face the consequences now and be damned with what anyone else believes. This is between you, James and…_him._"_

_"You know it won't work that way. If it did I'd not dream of doing this. I've had plenty of time to think this over too. I deliberated long and hard about what it would mean for Severus, James and I. I'd be willing for the three of us to take the blunt of the hardship, but it won't just be us three suffering for it." _

_Rosemary snorted and shook her head. "Gryffindor self righteousness and courage. Really, Lily, if you never got involved with Dumbledore's cause to begin with…" _

_"I know, but I did and I don't regret it… at least not fully. During the more difficult moments in the last year, I've felt some remorse over getting involved. I feel like I've made things worse or will do so if people find out about the affair or the baby, but that is not even the main reason anymore. As time has gone on, I've thought more and more about the baby, what sort of life it will have. Why should the child suffer for what I did? If- if people _do_ find out I'm going to leave the wizarding world and go back to the Muggle world where me and my baby will be more accepted." _

_"You'd only be putting off the child's suffering. Someday the child will find out, Lily and when it does it'll be furious. Maybe you should go back to Muggle society," Rosemary suggested, her voice filled with compassion. "Go to your sister's and hope she'll help you because at this point, I'm not sure I should. Perhaps by agreeing I encouraged this foolishness." _

_"Oh, Rosemary! Please? You have to," Lily begged fervently. Now it was Lily who looked to be on the verge of tears. "Petunia hates me. She'll never take me and the baby in. I'm going through with this whether you help or not and I need you. Please don't make me go through this alone!" _

_Rosemary felt a wave of shame overcome her. She felt sick to her stomach. "All right, Lily," she choked out through the tears. "I'll do it." _

Pain flickered across Harry's face. "Why? How?" There was frustration in his voice. "What did you do to me?"

Dumbledore's eyes seemed sad as he stared pitifully at the boy. Dumbledore placed his hand on Harry's shoulder trying to comfort him, but Harry shrugged it off.

"Harry," Rosemary said soothingly, "I know it seems horrible, I still get upset thinking about it, but your mother-"

"Never would have done such a thing!" he shouted. All remains of the calm Harry had started finding two days earlier had been scorched away by this woman's current accusations. "My mother never would have messed with dark arts!"

"I told you-"

"You're lying!" Harry pouted and uncharacteristically looked to Snape for confirmation, but he seemed oblivious about what was going on around him. Since Rosemary had told them about the day she had found out Lily was pregnant, Snape had withdrawn into himself. He stood in a dark corner away from the others, his eyes had a haunted lost expression to them.

"She was desperate."

Now Harry looked pleadingly to Dumbledore, who to his disappointment nodded. "I believe her, Harry," he said.

Harry stubbornly crossed his arms. "Well, I don't."

Rosemary huffed with anger. She was in jail, maybe for life, for this boy and he was treating her like dirt. "Don't believe me," she said. "You'll have to face the fact that one of your parents was into dark arts anyway."

Snape's head snapped up at the statement and both he and Rosemary glared at one another. "You're rather bold for a Hufflepuff," he spat.

"That will be enough from you two," Dumbledore told them in a fatherly voice. "There is only a short time until they come and get you, Rosemary, and we can't be seen here when they do. Do you have any more questions, Harry?" he asked turning to the boy.

Harry's face still had a deep frown and his arms were wrapped around himself tightly in a hug. "Just get on with telling what we need to know," he said moodily.

"All right," Rosemary sighed. "Lily wanted to give birth at home to limit the amount of people who saw you so that the time between the birth and the spell would be small. James hated the idea of course and didn't understand why your mother would want to use a mid wife when St. Mungo's was a perfectly suitable place for you to be born. James didn't put up too much a fuss though because things, while strained between them, were getting better. He didn't want to undo that."

_"It's a boy," Rosemary whispered, stroking the hair out of Lily's flushed face. She felt absolutely exhausted after assisting for many hours in Lily's long labor, but poor Lily was far more worse for wear. _

_The mid wife, Evvie, was off in the corner gently cleaning the baby, who was crying, to present to Lily. _

_"Let's me see him." Lily's voice was weak yet eager. _

_"First drink that draught I brought with me, it will help. Get it for her, Rosemary, the blue one," the old woman said shrugging her shoulder in the direction of her belongings while cradling the baby. _

_Rosemary fetched the bottle and handed it to Lily, who drank it eagerly and laid back with a sigh. _

_"There you are," __Evvie __cooed placing the child in Lily's arms. "Such a sweet little one." _

_"A boy," Lily murmured, her eyes wide at the slight before her. The look on her face was one of pure astonishment and happiness. "He looks just like him." She smiled while a tear escaped her eye. Lily rocked him tenderly for a few seconds before gazing back up at the mid wife. "Thank you for all you've done, but if you wouldn't mind…" _

_"Not at all," Evvie_ _hushed her, realizing Lily wanted to be alone. She took another bottle out of her bag and placed it on the side table. "Take this in another 24 hours." _

_Lily absorbed in the baby in her arms, didn't respond. _

_"She will," Rosemary answered for her. "I'll make sure of it." _

_The smiling old woman nodded and then exited the room. Rosemary locked the door behind Evvie as Lily told her to do before she had given birth. It seemed she did so just in time because the door knob rattled a few seconds later and was followed with a rapping at the door. _

_"Keep him out!" Lily hissed. "Tell James we're not ready for him yet and then cast a silencing spell upon the door." _

_Rosemary did as she was told much to James and Sirus' complaint. Remus told them to cut it out and to give Lily and the baby same time to recover before being paraded about. Rosemary had never been so grateful for his kind and sensible ways as in that moment. _

_When Rosemary looked back to the bed, Lily had dragged her self up from it and was walking across the room, clearly still in pain. _

_"Lily, rest a bit before we do anything." Rosemary ran over to her with concern. _

_"They can't wait a minute to see the baby," she panted, out of breath. "Do you think they'll wait more then an hour?" _

_Rosemary stopped short, her heart pounding and stared. "So you're really going to do this?"_

_Lily only nodded and settled the baby in a pile of blankets on the wooden floor. "Can you get the stuff out of the chest for me?" Lily asked wearily. "The book and the candles first." _

_Rosemary hauled the heavy book out of the chest and settled it on the floor next to Lily. As she went to get the rest of the objects, Lily flipped the book open to a page she had marked and began to setting up the black candles in a circle. Rosemary handed her a cloth pouch from which Lily took a jar. After opening it, she dripped two of her fingers into the fragrant oil and began painting ancient symbols on the surface of her low altar. She then took another cloth bag, this one far smaller and turned it over. A single glimmering diamond dropped into her hand. _

_"From Severus," Lily said softly. "Back in our schooldays, I was teasing him once. I said that Muggle boys gave diamonds to their sweethearts to show their love for them. He didn't realize I meant a ring." Lily sighed and gazed fondly at the gem. "I never expected for him to give me one." _

_Rosemary gasped as Lily took her wand and tapped the diamond, shattering it into a bunch of crushed pieces and carefully placing it aside. _

_"What's that?" Rosemary stared at the strange bottle of liquid Lily had picked up. _

_"A love potion," she smirked. "I got it from Severus." _

_Rosemary chuckled in wicked amusement, "Oh, he must have loved that. Didn't he ask you what it was for?" _

_Lily shook her head. "No, he was too horrified that I even asked. He was wary of giving it to me of course, but his guilt worked in my favor. It should have all the ingredients I need from him to do this spell." _

_Lily took an empty bottle and place it along side the love potion. _

_"_Semoveo cruor_," she said with the wave of her wand and drops of red liquid levitated out of one bottle and into the other. Plugging it with a stopper, she placed it aside. _

_Lily then opened the ornamented oak box and Rosemary saw what appeared to be two ordinary phials inside. She carefully took one out and like before placed it beside the potion. _

_"_Semoveo animus_." This time when Lily waved her wand over the love potion it seemed as though nothing had emerged, but when she capped the second bottle and swirled it around, all the while whispering something beneath her breath, a murky dark liquid materialized. _

_Lily frowned at the bottle of dark liquid before too placing it aside. _

_"What did you just do?" Rosemary demanded nervously, wiping a bit of sweet from her brow. She didn't have to be up to date on her Latin to know that Lily had cast a spell to remove something or someone's soul. _

_Lily remained quiet a few seconds, still organizing bottles and powders of various colors in front of her, before calmly answering, "The spell required a piece of the father's soul-" _

_Rosemary gasped. _

_"That is why I asked Severus for the love potion, which requires him to place a part of himself in it, instead of some other potion or just his blood, though that would have been hard to explain. Also the guilt…" Lily repeated, "it made it easier to get it from him." Lily gazed up from her task. "Don't look at me like that, Rosemary!" _

_"How am I looking at you?" she asked breathily. _

_"With disgust," Lily choked out. "I'm only borrowing it, I swear." _

_"Borrowing a part of someone's soul?" Rosemary rubbed her hands over her face, bewildered. "If I ever doubted this was dark magic, Lily, I no longer do. And don't worry," she added quickly with distaste, "I'll go through with this." _

_Lily now worked in silence, or she did until the baby began crying again. Rosemary did her best to keep the boy quiet while his mother concentrated on changing his fate. She soothed and cooed and rocked the child in a gentle motion that her elders told her babies liked so much. She wondered when her turn would come to have a child of her own. She wondered if Sirius would ever-- no it wasn't time to think of that now. Out of the corner of her eye, Rosemary watched Lily as she took the other 'soul changing' phial out of the box and began to swirl it about creating a light brown liquid. James,' she figured. The color must have to do with the person's eye color. The eyes were a window to the soul after all. _

_Soon the ceremony began and Lily asked Rosemary to read the first line of the ancient text to her. She felt nervous, but took a deep breath and began, "The creation of life connects the makers for eternity. A symbol of this connection is needed to keep the obvious from being seen." _

_Lily simply sprinkled the remains of the diamond in the center of the altar and looked up to Rosemary to go on. _

_"The blood of the maker, now hidden but true must encompass the symbol to further conceal." _

_Lily took the vial of Snape's blood and poured it over the diamond shreds. She then took a handful of gray powder and threw it over the alter, causing the symbols that were painted in oil to glow faintly. _

_"Though the essence of one may be obstructed, it is time to replace that which can not be erased; first add the blood of an other. Once completed the well known myth will be receded, 'A mirror can tell no lies.' Underneath the image still lies what can easily be seen." _

_The diamonds which were already tainted crimson with Snape's blood, now were smothered in the blood of his rival, James Potter. The two were joined, in a way neither ever dreamed, through a spell of dark magic. Another handful of powder, this one golden, joined the other. _

_"Underneath the image still lies what can easily be seen; the soul of the child already formed but can be refined. Add the soul of the old to bind with what it knows, the soul of the new to mask each of those. Last but not least, the soul of the bearer must finally meet with the one she has chosen." _

_The words were now bold and clear, but Rosemary's heart sank when, as with the blood, she covered the liquid of Snape's soul with that of James'. Her heart ached for the child in her arms, the child Lily thought she was doing the best for. The altar was glowing fiercely now and Rosemary eyes watered from just looking at it. _

_"Betray the motive surrounding your task; for time has been spent, a heavy toll has been paid. Starting it is the last to do, then your secret can be burned away." _

_"The most important part is understanding," Lily whispered as she threw two scrolls onto the pile and put a candle to it. The paper began to crinkle and brown and Lily took a last handful of powder, black and threw it at the flames which began to consume all the altar held, but never went beyond the boarders of the symbols Lily had so patiently painted. Lily chanted a spell in some language Rosemary had never heard and the fire began flashing colors. _

_In the flicker of the rainbow flames, Rosemary saw Lily's face and the pain and sadness it held. However much criticism Rosemary had aimed at Lily, she now saw how hard it was for the young mother too. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, one inadvertently falling into the fire below, causing it to spark a brilliant green. The flames died down quickly, unnaturally so and Lily reached out to grab something in the center of the altar. _

_"It's the wrong color," she said trembling and gazing down at the emerald green gem in her palm. _

_Rosemary bit her lip. "I think it's because a tear of yours fell into while it was forming." _

_Lily crawled over to the nearby chest and pulled herself onto her feet. She then sat on the edge of her and James' bed, lost in thought and the stone tightly held in her fist. "Let me see him," she asked Rosemary softly, who applied, placing the sleeping child into his mother's arms. "He's beautiful, isn't he?" _

_Rosemary told her yes, but Lily didn't seem to notice. Her bright green eyes were intently focused on the baby, a small smile playing on her lips. _

_"My baby…" she said dreamily, placing her cheek against the bundle below. "I'm going to make sure he's so happy and nothing bad will ever happen to him." The room was filled with the sound of Lily steady breath. She was crying, but they were tears of joy and Lily appeared to be in her own her own personal heaven; there was just her and her child. _

_Rosemary hated to do it, but she had to. "Lily," she called, trying to break Lily from the fantasy she was in. "Lily?" She spoke a little more insistent now and Lily finally glanced up. "You need to decide what you're going to do." _

_Lily sighed and rose from the bed. "I already have." She placed the child onto the bed, a ways from the edge and retrieved her wand from her bedside table. _

She is going through with it. It's really happening.

_"Be sure," Rosemary warned her. _

_"I am." Lily placed the gem onto the little boy's chest, startling the child awake. He began to cry. Lily let out a shaky breath. "I wish there was something I could do to dull the pain." _

_Rosemary didn't know what she meant until Lily began to cast the spell, her wand focused on the gem. The baby let out a shrill cry as a green light surrounded the child. It was the_ most _horrible, awful sound. Rosemary was sure that the whole household could hear it. No silencing charm could ever hinder such a sound. A wild wind began to whip about the room knocking things over, causing their hair and robes to swirl frantically about them, making the pages of the ancient volume flip madly until one of it's old pages ripped out and then… all was quiet and dark. Even the baby didn't make a sound. _

_Had it worked? Rosemary got to re-lighting the candles that had been blown out in the wind and then went to Lily's side. Drained and weary, both stared down into the bundle below to see the boy fidgeting slightly in his blanket. Rosemary's heart beat fast as she looked into his face. The boy was now the spitting image of James just as he had been of Severus moments earlier. _

_Lily crawled into bed and picked the infant up as Rosemary got to cleaning up the mess. There was the evidence of the crime to cover up. All the while, as she picked things up and put them back in their proper place, Lily whispered to her child. "I'm sorry, it's what I had to do. One day you'll understand." _

More so then he did so now_, Rosemary thought. The child stared at nothing, clearly in a daze." _

_A few minutes later, she informed Lily, "I'm done cleaning the room." _

_"Let them in then," she simply told her. Rosemary looked behind her to make sure everything was in place and opened the door. "You can come in now, James," she beckoned softly. _

_James and Sirius jovially barged through the door and over to the bed where Lily was waiting, the baby cradled in her arms, while Remus and Peter trailed closely behind. _

_"Let me see him!" James excitedly requested, holding his arms out towards his wife. _

_Lily hesitated, but let go of the child to James. "How did you know it was a boy?" _

_"Of course it was a boy," Sirius grinned, "and he'll be just like us. And we agreed his name will be Sirius!" _

_"Hey, we agreed to no such thing! It's my kid, Sirius and we'll name him James, James Potter Jr." _

_"No," Lily gasped. All eyes were on her in surprise and Rosemary shot her a look of warming. Lily swallowed and went on, "The baby deserves his own name after all." _

_James seemed disappointed. "You're right," he reluctantly conceded, "how about Harry?" _

_"Harry," she exhaled with relief, "Harry sounds perfectly fine." _

_"There," James cooed proudly to the baby, "we've named you. Harry James Potter it is." _

End of chapter 7

**Facts and Tidbits:** Just wanted to say I decided to make Lily a bit more dark and less innocent than she is shown normally in fic. Sometimes she is so perfect in fics she doesn't feel real to me. Everyone has flaws so I decided to give her one I see in Harry, doing the wrong thing for what he/she feels is the just reason. Very Gryfindor in my mind.

**Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it. If so a review would be very much appreciated. They make my day. smiles **


	8. Plans

**Thanks and Comments:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Silver Point Despair, starangel2106, uten, HecateDeMort, K, Athenakitty, Wyccegurl, xikum, xsnapeloverx, Anarane Anwamane, Kateri1, Gormam99

**Uten-** As of now this will be a long fic. I believe I will keep it about the same pace with a few jumps whenever needed. And yes, I do have plans for Rosemary.

**Wyccegurl-** Not over yet. Not even close to being so. Glad you liked the way Lily was done.

**Xikum-** Thanks so much for your review. You summed up exactly what I was trying to do with this chapter so I'm glad it came across. I was a bit worried about the ritual so I did a bit of research to give it a semi authentic feel.

"Times were dangerous, _no one_-" Rosemary accentuated with her hands, "I mean _no one_ was considered safe, particularly people like you mother, Harry. So... I made a promise, I vowed that I would make sure that no one would find out what we had done; that if anything happened to Lily I would renew the spell every eight years, right before your birthday. The stone was placed in a vault in Gringotts so when that time came, either of us would have access to it."

"How is it you renewed it the first time?" Dumbledore questioned uneasily. "There are few who have the means to find him."

"I went to his Muggle school," she told Dumbledore. "I lured him away from the others at while they were all outside. It wasn't hard, he was alone hiding in a bush from some boys that were bothering him." Rosemary noticed hurt and embarrassment flicker across Harry's now flushed face. "When I had him alone, I cast the spell and obliviated the memory."

"I _knew_ I had felt that before," Harry sulked, scuffing his shoe along the stone floor.

From above, they heard a tolling of a bell in the tower, telling them it was noon. Rosemary's heart jumped and started to pound at the sound.

"We don't have much time. Did you get it?" Rosemary asked Dumbledore. There was a fanatic edge to her voice.

The old wizard reached into his purple robes and pulled out the gem, now set and hanging on a chain which he had grasped between two fingers. It shinned deep and rich in the gloom.

Snape eyed the necklace wearily.

"You understand, Rosemary, I must know exactly what you plan to do with this before I hand it to you," he said, looking straight into her eyes with a piercing gaze.

Rosemary sighed, wishing she could get this over with after sixteen long years. "Lily told me that after Harry found out who he truly was that I had to make sure a spell final was preformed on him."

Harry appeared apprehensive. "What does it do?"

"That doesn't matter. She'll be doing nothing of the sort," Snape said in a low even voice that to Rosemary seemed threatening. Whether he had so consciously or unconsciously, Snape had stepped forward and now blocked Harry from Rosemary's view.

"We- we don't have time for this," Rosemary repeated anxiously, her eyes flickering from the men to the door and then back again. "They'll be coming to get me in a short while and you can't be seen. If you don't trust me one of you can do it, but someone must."

Her old school mate narrowed his eyes on her, suspiciously. "Give us a reason."

"If you don't trust me by now, you never well, Snape. But if you care for Harry--" Snape and Harry both flinched-- "you'll want this done. It will ease the transaction as the spell undoes itself. Harry has been under it a long time."

"My whole life," Harry muttered grumpily. "And who said I want it undone?" he demanded aggressively, stepping out from behind Snape.

"You have little choice," Rosemary told him. "The spell was one of secrecy. Now that that secrecy is broken the spell shall be too."

Harry looked shaken by the news. His green eyes were wide and he was breathing rapidly. "How could you do this to me?" he screamed, his nails ripping into his palms.

Rosemary bit her lip, her pity for the boy in front of her reaching overwhelming levels. She didn't know what to say, but she had to try. Though her need dire, she still never got the chance. Just as she was about to answer, the door flung open and a guard who, she figured, was either bribed or loyal to Dumbledore entered. For an Auror, even a young one, he was rather jumpy.

"They're on their way," he informed them. "You _need _to leave_ now_ or we'll all be joining her in Azkaban!"

After the door slammed shut again, Rosemary told them in a rush, "He'll fall ill if we don't, horribly so." She made a grab for the gem, but the headmaster calmly raised his other hand, pushing her back with an invisible force. Rosemary grunted in frustration. "Don't believe me now?" she hissed at him, an insane glint in her eyes. "I've gone this far, I intend to finish what I started."

"It has nothing to do with trust, Rosemary. It has to do with an unknown spell being cast on a child in our care."

"Leave now!" The guard yelled through the other side of the door.

"Severus, take Harry and go," Dumbledore commanded. He didn't wait for them to be gone before pressing on, "Tell me what must be done."

* * *

"Why there?" Harry asked Snape. He had just told Harry that they were going to floo to a store in Hogsmeade from another area of business close to the Ministry. "I thought that we were going back to your house?" 

Snape gave him a stern, displeased look Harry had seen many times in Potion's class. "My house is not attached to the general floo system; you can't apparate yet and it is most unfortunate, but we don't have a port key on us at the moment. We'll walk to Hogwarts and then floo to the house from there." He gave a slight sigh and glanced at Harry, who was walking beside him. "I'm sure by the time we do that Dumbledore will long be waiting for us."

"Sorry," Harry grumbled, not meaning it. "Do you think Professor Dumbledore is all right?"

"I'm sure after facing some of the darkest wizards of his time and dealing with troublesome students, such as yourself, Ministry officials shouldn't be much cause for concern," he replied dryly.

Harry frowned at him, but said nothing.

"Once we are in Hogsmeade, you are to walk some distance in front of me. We are not to be seen together, but make sure that I'm close at all times. I am not to leave your sight and you are not to leave mine."

"I don't know why everyone _insists_ I be babysat. I'm in no more danger then I was in third year!"

Snape sneered, "I'm sure no one could convince you otherwise-"

"Well, why don't you try if you know so much better?"

Snape's eyes widened with rage before he suddenly cooled again. "You will do as your told and hold your tongue. The discovery does not give you the liberty to speak to me as you choose."

It hadn't taken long in Hogsmeade for Harry to notice all the people gawking in his direction. The stares alone would have been normal enough, though more than average, but it was the whispering and the distinct feeling that people were avoiding coming near him that struck Harry. He figured it had to do with news of the attack. That was bound to have made the Daily Profit's headlines along with the attacks near Muggle London without the extra knowledge it had nothing what so ever to do with the appending war. Most of these people probably pictured Voldemort jumping out at him at any moment so Harry did his best to brush it off and not let it bother him.

Nevertheless, Harry was glad when the crowd began to thin and he found himself on the road to Hogwarts. Snape was still hovering behind him, but further back than before because the two lone travelers stood out even more so on the deserted road.

As they walked along, memories of the past few days and all that they tore away haunted Harry. His mind refused to consider the idea that he had gained a father, instead it lingered upon all that was shattered; illusions of people he never knew, but clung to in his few, long and sometimes even desperate years. He had always known so little about his parents and still less about their past, but thoughts of them had always been a comfort. Harry had idolized James as long as he could remember, even when he knew nothing at all other than the lie that his mother and him had died in a car crash. That image had been something of his own to hang onto when those around him talked about what their parents had did or what they were going to do _together_. He would never have that, but he could have thoughts on what it might have been like.

Discovering the truth had been both pleasant and horrid for Harry. Over the last three years, the knowledge Harry gained about his father had been full of surprises, several of which he cherished and some he'd rather forget, but always of James, never Lily. And he hadn't minded at the time. Learning of Lupin and Sirius and his father's adventures with them had been wonderful. Well, not all their 'adventures.' Finding out that James and Sirius had been common bullies had been hard, but then, Harry figured, discovering James wasn't his real father had been even more difficult. But it was the knowledge of his mother, who had been so previously untainted that hit hardest. The idea that she had engaged in such an affair and used questionable methods to hide her secret that truly devastated him. It was to the point that Harry didn't think he couldn't ever have those perfect dreams again; maybe he wasn't meant to.

Lost in his thoughts, Harry was shocked to feel a hand roughly grab onto his shoulder, pulling him back slightly. Gazing up with a startled expression, Harry saw Snape eyeing him with amusement.

"If you'd stop moping, Potter, you'd see we're here. Now come along," he told Harry as if he were a stray puppy.

A few minutes and one floo later, they arrived at the Snape residence and just as Snape had speculated, Dumbledore was indeed waiting for them. As they sat down to talk yet again, Harry got the alarming feeling that the words that would be said here would be more life changing than the ones that had told him that Snape was his father._ Rubbish, _Harry told himself, but he didn't believe it and he was right not to.

"I understand it will seem soon, Harry," Dumbledore started, "but time is of the essence and there are many matters of your future we need to discuss. We need to find a way to deal with all this before term starts."

"It is only mid July," Harry said lazily, slumping back into the sofa.

"And there is much to do," Dumbledore informed Harry, glancing at him over the rim of his spectacles. "First and most importantly we need to focus on your education."

"Shouldn't we figure out how to explain all this," he asked gesturing from himself to Snape, "before anything else?"

"There won't be any explaining; at least not the sort you're thinking. The times are dangerous and we can use people's ignorance to our advantage"

"But... I don't...," Harry said shakily.

"Don't play stupid," Snape growled contemptuously. "We began to discuss this with you before. You know perfectly well what the headmaster is talking about."

Harry did, yet he didn't understand why. "Harry Potter is no more, but why?" he had to ask Dumbledore. It had to be more than his appearance just changing.

"Harry Potter will never be 'no more', merely 'hidden' for the time being. As to why; I believe it would be in your best interest even though you may not see it as such now. There are those out there threatening to do you harm and taking a new identity would keep you safe for the time being."

"They are threatening to do a lot of people harm," Harry insisted. He wondered how secret this would all be. Would Hermione and Ron know?

"That is true, but things are different now, Harry." The headmaster leaned forward, looking Harry straight in the eye as if to make sure the impact of his words were fully felt. "The war is upon us and hard decisions, like in the past, will have to be made. This will be one of them. I don't mean to be hurtful Harry, but you wanted to be treated like an adult-- rightfully so-- and I must be honest. It is both in Hogwarts and your best interest you not attend this fall."

Harry's mouth gapped open and he felt the hard stab of betrayal in his chest. "What would you have me do? Where would I go?"

"You'll still be at Hogwarts. The school doesn't take transfers, but you will not be alone. Several other students will be coming to Hogwarts and you all will need tutoring." Dumbledore's voice brightened, "You shouldn't look upon this as a misfortune, Harry. It will allow us to specialize your studies and the lessons will move at your own pace."

"Why are they moving to Hogwarts?"

"They are coming for the same reason as you are, for their own safety. The memory of Voldemort still haunts many and news that he has returned has sent a wave of fear throughout the wizarding community. No one wants his or her child far in these unsettling times and quite a few parents have pulled their children out from the schools they consider too far from home. Certain children will pursue their education at home while others, mostly from the more influential families, will attend Hogwarts in a limited manner. Their parents have convinced the board to at least allow for that."

Snape snickered, "They have no intention of leaving it at that. Appeals to the board have already been made to make an exception and allow these children into the regular classes and dormitories. They have enough money and power to undo a thousand years of tradition or at least they think they do."

"Who will be giving them the lessons?" Harry asked.

"Many of our fine professors have volunteered and for the subjects in which the professors haven't done so, other means will be found whenever possible."

"Which classes aren't open to them... us?"

"Astronomy, Ruins, Magical History and Potions, though I still have hope that last one may change." Dumbledore's eyes sparkled.

"Then that hope _will_ be squandered," Snape said bluntly. "I have no intention of giving up the little free time I have for spoilt children who, knowing students as I unfortunately do, won't even pay attention."

Snape's rant did little to darken Dumbledore's seemingly ever bright mood. "So we come to a point, Harry, where we must decide which skills you are wishing to develop. I'd like you to continue with the Occlumency. I will teach you myself if you desire or you can give _Professor Snape _another try."

Harry felt a surge of guilt race through him. Not being able to look Dumbledore in the eye, he diverted his own and just nodded.

"It's never too late to learn." Dumbledore smiled mildly and went on, "Also, it's time you start practicing for your apparation test. You will be taking it in the next year and several of the adults can help you with that."

Harry relaxed and gave a small smile. He liked the idea of that, particularly after what happened earlier in the day. It would make traveling far easier and he'd no longer have to take the dreaded floo to many places.

"You overall did well in your subjects. You received all O's and E's besides the three classes you didn't do as well in."

"Last time I checked _it_ was called _failing._"

Harry frowned though he knew it was true. He still didn't like Snape rubbing it in.

Dumbledore's eyes fell on Harry who was staring intently at his feet. "Our failures are nothing to be ashamed of. We have all failed from time to time as you yourself know Severus. I seem to remember a begrudged fifth year who failed to aquire a Divination Owl," Dumbledore mused with a small smile. "We must remember those times we fall short, or we risk making those mistakes again. Wouldn't you agree Severus?"

Severus made a small noise of consent before Harry broke through with his own musings.

"I wouldn't have wanted to take those classes anyway," Harry said miserably. "I want to take Defense of course and Charms, Transfiguration if I can and Magical Creatures."

"I'm sorry, Harry, but I don't think it will be practical for Hagrid to give private lessons. We have decided that the younger students will receive group lessons, but there isn't anyone else at your level."

"Then I'd be only taking three classes.. unless I continue Herbology." Harry was less than thrilled with the idea and had a sneaking suspicion Dumbledore was making sure Harry wasn't wasting time on subjects that wouldn't help him in battle. Not that Herbology would either.

"You could do that," Dumbledore told him, "but given your aspirations to be an Auror I thought you'd want to study potions."

"But..." Harry looked to Snape, who's expression he couldn't read. "I thought... Wouldn't that look odd? My being the only one receiving lessons in that area?" Plus Harry wasn't so sure he even wanted private Potions lessons with Snape. They had enough problems to face than the professor's anger over poisoned 'antidotes' or vanishing potions that made the cauldron itself disappear.

"It will seem like favoritism if any one found out, but as far as they know, Professor Snape is no stranger to that," Dumbledore chuckled.

"I suppose if he is willing to put the effort in and the key word is _effort,_ I would be willing to depart a small amount of my time to helping Potter in that area." Snape turned his cold stare to Harry. "But if you're going to waste my time with dim-witted errors, say so now and we'll leave your painful record in Potions be."

Harry narrowed his eyes and spat, "My record wouldn't be so 'painful' if you weren't such a painful, _rotten _teacher."

"You insolent brat-"

"Enough!" It was rare for Dumbledore's infamous calm manner to waver, but in those moments Harry had no doubt it did. "It is now more important than ever that you two learn to place your differences aside. Differences you now know were formed on false pretences. A critical time is upon us. If this is to work, as I have confidence it will, you _both_ must let the hatred disperse. As I said before, failure is nothing to be ashamed of, but as long as you two refuse to learn from your mistakes, we will never succeed."

Dumbledore had a particular gift at making Harry feel guilty about himself, mostly because he knew that Dumbledore was correct. If it had only been the incident at the Ministry that had happened, it was large enough of a disaster for Harry to know where his hatred of Snape lead. Yes, Dumbledore was right. _For Sirius,_ he though to himself. He'd do this so his fault in Sirius' death didn't go unheeded.

"Fine," Harry conceded. "Truce?"

Snape still looked disgusted with him, but nodded. "Truce."

* * *

Once Dumbledore had left Snape and Harry to themselves, they headed off to the kitchen for dinner. While Snape prepared a simple meal, Harry shuffled around the small gloomy but thankfully clean kitchen and studied his surroundings. As he looked around, he felt as though he'd been transported into the pages of some old Gothic novel. Harry could tell that many years ago this had been a very fine well to do home and that it was just suffering from lack of upkeep. It wasn't a large house, only about the size of the Weasley's, but while the Weasley house had a warm intimate feel, this place had the quality of a long forgotten, deserted manor to it. 

"Tell me about this house," Harry requested before he had even realized it.

Snape stared at him a few seconds. It was as though he had forgotten that Harry had been there or that Harry had lost his mind for asking. Harry was not sure which. Licking his lips, Snape looked back down at the food he was preparing. Harry was sure he had decided to ignore the demand when Snape spoke at last.

"It's not as old as it seems," he said casually. "My father built it in his youth, a few years before I was born. The Snape family was never wealthy, but that did not stop him from making it seem as though we were. He spent all our money in keeping up the appearance we had much more than we did." Snape paused. "I only tell you this because you were bound to figure it out eventually or at least question why some parts of the house have the illusion of wealth while others seem... well poor in comparison." He looked at Harry, who remained quiet, hoping he'd hear more. "Does that answer your questions?"

"Yes," Harry replied even though there had never really been any questions. He just wanted to know whatever Snape had been willing to tell him. "Thanks."

"Here," Snape said, pulling out two plates from the cabinet. "Set the table."

Harry did what he was told in the dying light. The house didn't have electricity so the room had fallen into shadow with only the setting sun to give them light. As though he had read Harry's mind, Snape waved his wand and lit a candle, which he floated over to the table.

And then it occurred to him. "No," he declared slowly. "I actually do have another question. Why don't you bother to keep the house up?" This place reminded Harry of Grimmauld Place _before_ the cleanup.

Snape arched an eyebrow at him and looked non too pleased with this line of questioning. "Why should I bother?"

"I don't know," Harry shook his head, "just because... it's your home." Harry had never really had one besides Hogwarts, but if he did, he couldn't imagine treating it like this. Maybe it was his upbringing coming back to him. "My Aunt would die if she stepped foot in here," he muttered.

"I don't think we have to worry about that," Snape said sarcastically, as with a wave of his wand the food materialized on the table.

The meal was quiet. Harry kept himself amused by staring out the window. There was only a faint glow of orange on the horizon, but that is when Harry saw it. Very suddenly he dropped his fork, got up and walked over to the window.

_It is,_ Harry thought as he treaded over.

It was the twisted tree he saw beyond the now absent garden in his vision and that would make this the same kitchen from it as well, abused, neglected and lacking the warmth it had processed. He now looked at the room through new eyes. He had only seen the vision a few days ago and it had been so real he could almost see it all now playing out before him.

It was like waking through a dream. He felt light and was in a daze.

"What is wrong with you," came a voice behind him.

He turned to see Snape, who had also stopped eating and was staring at him with an annoyed expression.

"This is the kitchen," Harry whispered as though he'd break some breathtaking spell he was under.

Snape now looked worried. "What on earth are you talking about?"

His eyes finally focused on Snape's. "From the vision," he said, his voice more concrete now.

Snape's eyes flickered away. "Sit down," he commanded.

Harry reluctantly did so though he was no longer hungry now. He was too worked up being in the same room that vision had taken place. It felt so different than Snape's memory from the pensieve had and he wasn't sure why.

But more than anything, Harry felt sad; sad not to see his mother roaming about the room with her messy hair and warm smile and he was lonely for it. He felt empty like he did after he had looked into the Mirror of Erised and realized he could never have what was in the vision. Mirrors seemed to have inflicted some of his greatest sorrow, but it never stopped Harry from craving a glance into one again. They had also given him some of his greatest moments of bliss. That was something he rarely experienced.

**Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think.**


	9. Saying Goodbye To The Old Life

**Thanks: **Once again thanks to this who reviewed: starangel2106, Athenakitty, HecateDeMort, Thirteen Ravens, Gormam99, The Lady Quotes.

**Notes:** Nope. I'm not close to the end for those who have asked. This fic will be a long one.

I'm sorry it has taken as long as it has to get this chapter out. I had it done two weeks ago, but it took until tonight for it to be fully beta. Luckily, this chapter is a long one. I hope you all enjoy.

Harry had wakened for once looking forward to his day, though he knew it would be a tough one. Even the nightmares that pledged him, weren't bothering Harry much this morning, but that could be because none of them had contained Sirius or a veil as they usually did.

This day, he would be saying his final good byes before going into 'hiding.' It wasn't a task he wanted to do, but at least he'd be seeing everyone for one last time as himself; something that before yesterday had seemed unlikely. After Harry had complained and said it was unfair that he'd disappear without a word, Dumbledore had given him two proposals; he could either spend the day at Hogwarts and say good bye to whichever visitors could make it that day-- Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley and maybe Lupin he figured-- or he could go to Grimmauld Place and say good bye to the whole group. There was going to be an Order meeting this afternoon so most of the people he wanted to see were guaranteed to be there. Harry knew facing his demons involving Sirius' death would be worth that guarantee.

So he got up, quickly put on his clothes and sat on the edge of his bed, waiting for Snape to appear. He hoped it would be soon. The man had some fixation on Harry not wandering off into places he didn't belong and knowing where Harry was at all times. Harry hated being treated like a child but, even more, he hated that he was confined to such a small area of the house. It wasn't even the living quarters. Those, he guessed, were on the second or third level and Harry had been banned from that area. Harry currently resided in a makeshift bedroom that was only a bit better then his old cupboard. Harry would have resented it if Snape himself didn't also live in this area, one door down and a short distance from what Harry learned was the house's private lab. That was probably the reason behind Snape staying in this area.

A short while later, Harry heard the knock on the door. Silently he followed Snape back to the kitchen where they ate a small breakfast of toast and juice.

"Am I ever going to see any rooms besides the kitchen and that place we call my bedroom?"

Snape glared. "Yes, you may see the sitting room, a place you seem to have forgot you've already been in and from there you will floo to Grimmauld Place. I will follow you a short time later. You are not to tell anyone you have been or will be here. You are not to bring up our… association at all. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Harry grumbled.

"While there, Dumbledore wishes to meet with you and finish the conversation from yesterday."

"All right," Harry said, brushing the crumbs off his fingers and getting up. "I'll go now."

Harry had started to walk out the door when Snape hissed," What did I tell you about wandering off on your own?"

Harry turned and frowned. "Look, I'm only walking two rooms over. I'm not going to get into any trouble between here and there. I swear, I won't go up stairs." Snape remained silent so Harry went on, "You can't watch my every move the next month and a half."

Snape was staring at him with a cold hard expression. Harry knew he was angry and he didn't really understand why. Snape seemed to hate this house, as anyone who saw the lack of up keep could tell, yet was protective of it all the same.

"Just go," he spat.

Harry figured it could have been a lot worse.

It had been months since Harry had stepped foot inside Grimmauld Place and though it was bustling with more activity than ever before, it felt empty to Harry. He had never been here without Sirius lurking somewhere within it's confines. Even if Sirius was locked up in his mother's old room, he knew he was there and would be there for him. Harry had been dreadfully wrong.

"Harry!" came a voice from above.

Harry looked up to see Ginny Weasley hanging over the banister at the top of the stairs, smiling and waving to him.

"Harry's here," she yelled to someone behind her and took off down the stairs. A small group of redheads came tumbling down as well.

"At last you have returned to this lovely abode!" Fred laughed, palms raised, gesturing about.

"Just for the day," Harry answered with a sad bitter smile.

"Well come then," George grabbed onto Harry's shoulder. "That doesn't leave much time for what we have in mind!"

"We have loads to tell you too!" grinned his twin, Fred.

"I-"

"Harry's not going to waste his time with that," Hermione Granger interrupted Harry's decline in a way only she could and statred pulling him in the opposite direction. "We have a bunch of _important _things to talk about with him, don't we Ron?"

"Yes! Did you hear about the new move-"

Hermione, who was frustrated, sighed. "Not Quidditch Ron, really." She rolled her eyes. "Come Harry," Hermione said, pulling him once again towards the kitchen. "Ron?"

The tall redhead started following closely behind. All the while Harry could hear the twins talking about or more exactly mocking Hermione.

"She took _our_ Harry away, Ginny, did you see that?"

"Yes, she did," the other twin, who Harry thought might be Fred tisked. "Most impolite girl I ever met. And you would think her and little Ronnikins would want some privacy!"

Ginny laughed. "It's Harry I'm worried about. Wait until he hears."

"Hears what?" Harry demanded, his mind spinning with three conversations at once.

The door to the kitchen swung shut before Harry could listen the information he so desperately wanted to hear. Whatever is was, it was met with shrieks of laugher and one of the twin yelling, "He's done in for!"

"Doomed!" the other said.

A very unhappy looking Hermione put a two way silencing and locking charm on the room and Ron seemed to be blushing, hiding his face in his hands. "Why me," he muttered.

"Babies," Hermione grunted.

"What on earth is happening?" Harry asked confused.

"You really are oblivious Harry, but for once I'm glad because we wanted to tell you on our own." Harry bit his lip nervously as Hermione went on, "We brought you in here to tell you something important. Right Ron?" The redhead remained mute until Hermione called out again, "Ron!"

"Right, fine, yeah. We're here to tell him. Let's just do it already."

"It must be something," Harry chuckled. "I've haven't seen you this pink since we had to find dates for the Yale ball."

When Ron hide his face in his hands again, Harry suddenly felt sorry for the comment.

"I don't know why you just _had _to drag him in here and tell him right away," Ron whined to Hermione.

"Because we've waited long enough. You said we couldn't tell anyone until Harry knew."

'That's because I didn't want them to know either."

Hermione glared. "If you've changed you mind, say now Ronald Weasley."

"No, no. Just get on with it," he repeated miserably.

Hermione took a deep breath. Harry thought she looked oddly faint and Ron looked as if he was about to announce his demise.

"Well, the thing is Harry; Ron and I are dating." Hermione said this fast as if the quicker she got it out, the less painful it would be.

Harry smiled brightly. He didn't know why they were both being so serious, he was thrilled for his friends. "It's about time," he replied cheerfully. It was cliché to say, but also beyond true.

"You don't mind?" she questioned with astonishment.

"I told you he wouldn't," Ron told her, satisfaction evident in his voice and the blush nearly gone.

"And I really don't. I'm glad." Harry tipped his chair back. He felt like propping his feet onto the table smugly. He was proud of his friends for finally taking the step they had been waiting to make since fourth year.

"Well, we-"

"_You,_ Ron corrected her.

"Okay, fine, I was worried you'd… I don't know, feel left out."

Harry dropped his seat back onto it's four legs and raised his hand to interrupt, but she went on, "I thought you'd be… jealous that we'd be spending time alone and want-"

"I'm not," Harry said quickly. "Snog all you want. I have no interest in joining you."

Hermione blushed and looked shocked, while Ron wrinkled his nose in disgust. "That's just plain wrong, mate."

Harry laughed. "Would you rather I did? Anyway, I said it was okay. I don't expect us to be together all the time. Actually, I think this is for the better. I have something I need to tell you myself."

"What, Harry?" they both asked earnestly.

Harry's heart was pounding. He didn't know how they'd take this. Something told him, it wouldn't go as well as their news did. He followed Hermione's example and took a deep breath. "I'm not going back to Hogwarts this fall."

"Don't be ridiculous," Hermione shrieked. "What about class? Your education? The NEWTS are only two years away!'

"I'll still be studying, just not attending Hogwarts."

Ron appeared shaken and miserable. "Look, mate, if this is about us dating, we'll break up."

"No," he said forcefully and glanced back and forth between the two hurt faces. "Dumbledore just thinks this is for the better. I'll be able to focus on things I need to learn better this way."

Hermione looked doubtful. 'But your safer at Hogwarts," she said. "With everything that's happening I'd think that would be his first concern."

"Safety is the first concern, Hermione. Hogwarts is safer without me there and you know it." Even though Harry would be there this fall it hurt to say so because he knew it to be true. Other students didn't drag their fellow classmates into a trap with Death Eaters.

Hermione gapped and had her hands on her waist in a way reminiscent of Mrs. Weasley. "I know the threats are bad Harry but to pull you out of Hogwarts?"

"They must be worse then we thought," Ron added. "Dumbledore must be keeping the worst of it hidden."

"You know about them?"

"Yes, of course we know about them," Hermione said disbelievingly. "I get the Daily Prophet you know and even if I didn't everyone is talking about it."

_Daily Prophet?_ It seemed once again Harry was the one out of the loop. "What are they saying?"

"They're shocked anyone would have the nerve to say anything, even in an anonymous letter to the paper. A good deal of the Ministry's resources have been put into finding the person and you know they don't have any to spare. But people are scared," she said grimly. "Really scared. There is talk about parents pulling their kids out if you attend."

"But, why?" Harry asked flabbergasted. _Was it because of what happened at the Ministry?_

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion. "How much do _you_ know?

Harry blushed. "Not as much as you," he admitted.

"I thought Dumbledore was going to keep you informed for now on?"

Ron looked disgusted. "It seems like we were wrong."

"Yeah, seems so," Harry muttered, now upset and nervous about what the hell was happening. "Go on!" he demanded when neither spoke.

"Well, someone sent a letter to the paper-"

"I got that," Harry barked at Hermione.

"Don't snap at me. I'm just trying to tell you what happened."

"Sorry," he grumbled.

"Anyway, the letter basically was filled with a bunch of 'Dark Lord this' and 'Dark Lord that' nonsense. They said that they were going to do 'their master's bidding' and…" Hermione exhaled, "kill you."

To Harry's jaded mind that didn't sound so bad. "What makes that so different than anything else that has happened in the past?"

"You weren't the only one they threatened," Ron said with a dark edge to his voice that was most uncommon.

Harry's eyes went wide. "You guys?"

"No, not exactly," Hermione told him. "They said that they'd not be responsible for any children who got in their way when they tried to kill you. In fact, they said they'd make sure a few kids did get in the way so if people didn't want their kids dead, parents should make sure you didn't attend this fall."

Now everything Dumbledore was doing made sense to Harry and even though he wanted to be annoyed, he couldn't. The headmaster had told him the truth about why he wasn't going to be at Hogwarts officially this fall, but not in full details and Harry had never asked. These details though, made everything that was happening all the more imperative and whatever Dumbledore thought, not a good thing.

"I guess it makes sense," Harry reluctantly admitted, his eyes raised so he wouldn't cry in front of his friends. He already felt responsible enough for his parents, Sirius' and Cedric's deaths. He couldn't bare another. "Sirius found a way to get in. Who knows what this person may be able to do that would allow him to do the same."

"Are you really all right with this, Harry? Hermione asked putting her hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

"I have to be."

The door suddenly opened with a bang and an angry Mrs. Weasley stood on the other side, her face as red as the famous Weasley hair.

"What are you three doing in here? I've been knocking and trying to get this door open for several minutes."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Weasley," a pale embarrassed Hermione grimaced. "We needed a place to talk where the twins wouldn't bother us."

"Didn't work!"

"We heard the whole thing!"

"No, you didn't," Mrs. Weasley scolded the laughing twins, who were standing a distance behind her. She then glimpsed at Harry with a warm smile. "Professor Dumbledore wants to talk to you for a few moments, dear. Come," she said, putting her arm around him and guiding him out of the room. "I'm so happy you came to see us. We'll be having big meal before you leave tonight."

* * *

"Hello, Harry," Dumbledore greeted warmly. "Molly, we need a few minutes alone with Harry before you join us." 

"Of course," she nodded. "I'll just go and get lunch started."

"Don't get too involved, we'll need you shortly."

Harry realized, yet again, he didn't know what the hell was going on. Why would Mrs. Weasley be needed? He had an idea, but it made him furious that Dumbledore would have set all this up without a word to him about it. Not being certain though, he attacked on another topic he was sure that Dumbledore had withheld information on.

"Why didn't you tell me about the letter?" Harry demanded immediately, once the door shut. It was now just the three of them, Harry, Dumbledore and Snape in the room. Harry realized that a good deal of his summer would be spent in contact with only these two men, who were staring at him intently.

Snape glanced at Dumbledore and then back to Harry. "The headmaster didn't think another shock would be wise in such a short period," Snape simply informed him.

"He was obviously wrong because, as you see, I'm still standing," Harry said resentfully, his arms crossed though he really didn't know how he would have taken it had he been told a couple of days ago.

"I apologize, Harry," the headmaster told him in his usual calm manner. "The last few days had been rather taxing and I believed there was no rush in informing you."

Harry quirked an eyebrow. "So you let _others_ tell me?" Harry didn't need a response so he went on, "When did this all start?"

"The letter arrived the day after the attacks near London and were published in a special edition."

"Now you understand why you were not to wander off in Hogsmeade."

Harry felt his face redden at the mention of the sore subject.

"The identity change will allow you far more freedom, Harry," Dumbledore said as though reading his mind, "and it will allow many parents to put their minds at ease. Many, I'm afraid, were demanding your absence so their child could safely attend. The threat is being taken quite seriously. We are quite lucky that this was the time the information on your birth became known to us allowing an alternative to pulling you out of school."

Harry cast his eyes down. _Lucky indeed,_ he thought bitterly. "Everything seems rather chaotic suddenly. Half the parents saying they'll pull their kids out of school because it's not safe while a whole other set of parents try to get their kid to believe the opposite."

"Everything is in a state of confusion, not only the school system. Besides, each parent is doing what they think is best for their child at the moment. We're just doing our best to keep order and prevent too many people from making rash decisions." Dumbledore paused and then went on, "If you're wondering why we asked you here, it's because we thought you could use someone to talk to about everything that has happened."

"And that someone is Mrs. Weasley?" Harry posed.

"Perceptive, Potter." There was no scorn currently present in Snape's voice. The small smile playing on his lips would even make Harry think he was pleased.

"Why not Ron or Hermione?" Harry wanted to know.

"Use your senses. We mean an adult; a member of the Order."

"Professor Lupin then," Harry challenged.

"We _need _someone we can trust."

"I trust him!" Harry looked to the headmaster, who nodded in agreement.

Snape's cold dark eyes flashed with warning. "I don't."

"Why is it that only _your _opinion counts?"

"It doesn't." Snape said sharply. "If you'd think for a second, you'd realize that it would be best to have someone we all trust."

Harry sighed. He understood that and honestly, didn't want to.

"I thought you liked Mrs. Weasley?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Oh, I do. I mean it's just… I don't know." Harry shrugged. "Mrs. Weasley has her own kids to worry about. I always feel like I am bothering her."

"She will always be willing to be there for you, Harry. She cares about you like one of her own, most of which no longer require her time like they once did."

"I know that." Though he was still grumpy, the idea of being cared for like that sent a bloom of contentment through Harry. "I just figured Professor Lupin would make more sense. He doesn't have kids and will be at Hogwarts this fall… and I would feel more comfortable," he admitted.

"That may be so, but it isn't going to be him."

Harry could tell that Snape was unmovable when it came to this subject.

"We have to compromise here, Harry," Dumbledore encouraged.

Harry couldn't help but resent the fact that even his one and only confidant would have to be a compromise, like everything else in his life.

"Fine," he spat.

Harry was nervous about telling Mrs. Weasley that Snape was really was his father, but he supposed he would need the practice. He had no intention of never claiming his life back.

"Now, if you wouldn't mind Harry, could you run in and tell Mrs. Weasley we are ready for her?"

Harry stiffened and anxiously twisted his hands. "Um… If you wouldn't mind, I'd prefer you not be here when she is told."

Dumbledore seriously looked hurt by this news, but Harry didn't regret saying it.

"If that is what you want, Harry."

"Yes, it is." For once he wanted something Dumbledore wouldn't meddle in. The old man had so carefully arranged his life almost since the moment Harry had been born. He needed peace from Dumbledore's plans and advice and needed to say what he was feeling. Snape, on the other hand, Harry was torn about. He really didn't know whether he wanted him in the room for this so he'd let Snape decide. "You, "he said, glancing at Snape, "can stay if you want."

Snape nodded in consent, a strange gleam in his eye. "I'll stay."

Snape was strangely proud of the boy for standing up against Dumbledore and telling him what he wanted. It was a rare man, who ever did so and unheard of among those of Potter's age. On the other hand, he hoped it wouldn't become a habit. Dumbledore was one of Potter's final protections against the Dark Lord and disregarding him at a key moment could be devastating.

Snape also took pleasure in the fact that he was allowed to stay. He was trying to be decent with Potter and it seemed to be working. Though, he realized, not a conversation had passed between them where their usual and often-irate banter had not been exchanged.

As they sat down to talk, Molly Weasley had a worried and confused expression. Snape figured she didn't have a clue what Potter and him would want to tell her and why they were doing it together.

Seeing that if he didn't say anything they would remain in silence and Potter would continue on with his irritating fidgeting, Snape decided he matter as well get the conversation started.

"A few days ago-"

"He's my father," Potter blurted out. Apparently, he didn't know much about being subtle.

Mrs. Weasley startled. "What did you say, dear?"

"Professor Snape is _my _father," he mumbled again.

Her eyes went wide and she looked to Snape for collaboration. The Potion's master gave a slight affirming nod.

"But you can't, you look just like James." She turned to Snape. "What is it your trying to do to this poor child," she accused angrily.

"Nothing, I assure you," he replied dryly.

From there Potter did what he should have done from the first place, told Weasley everything from the start. Time to time, Snape would fill in parts of the story Harry himself did not know or interrupted to correct what he considered to be a false or exaggerated fact. Not that his corrections helped much. Mrs. Weasley was anything but a passive participant in this conversation. She asked questions and demanded answers from them both alike though she seemed to blame Snape for a good deal of what had happened.

Perhaps some of this criticism came from the fact he refused to answer any of her questions involving the night he spent with Lily. She knew nothing of their teen years together or the events that had lead up to the affair and he didn't feel like devilling into it with her, partially with Potter present. The details were private and the only party besides himself and Rosemary that knew them was dead.

"Professor Dumbledore doesn't want anyone else to know besides us," Harry told her.

"And you chose me?" she asked sweetly, an eager look in her eye.

Potter blushed and bit his lip. "Um-"

"We all thought it best. Dumbledore insists that Potter needs someone to talk to and neither he nor I are an ideal candidate for that. You don't mind, I assume?"

"Of course not," she blustered. "And you shouldn't be calling him Potter. He's your son."

Snape frowned and Potter shifted uncomfortably at her words.

Molly Weasley seemed to take the boys actions to mean he was hurt by the fact Snape and him were related so she pulled him into her arms. "Come here," she said giving the black haired boy a tight hug.

"This is going to be hard," Potter whispered, pulling away.

"I know," she sighed, a tear running down her cheek. "And you've suffered so much as it is."

Harry scrunched his eyes shut behind those thick black-rimmed glasses and listened to Molly's soothing comments and encouragements.

_Maybe,_ Snape mused, _she had been right about Potter's discomfort._

Watching the two made Snape feel awkward. The last time someone treated him in that manner had been along time ago. First it had been his mother, who died in his early teens and then Lily, who barely had gotten out of hers. Lily; for so long she had just been his long lost and bitter love. The person he had always wondered, what if, about. Now she was so much more. She was the mother of his child, also lost and hidden for many years. Snape felt a smug satisfaction that his union with Lily, while only a night, was now far more lasting then James Potter's ever could have been. Snape though, doubted he'd ever look at the child as truly being his own and that it was unlikely that Potter would ever look at him as a father either.

Snape didn't know what he was going to do. All the doubts and disbelief he had felt upon first learning the news was now rushing back. He couldn't be a parent. His efforts in the last two days had been forced and hollow. Potter wasn't even her son and Molly Weasley felt more affection for the boy then himself. After the meeting he would slip away, leaving Potter behind with the instructions to say his good byes at the dinner and return to the house. Snape never stayed for the meals, he had no desire to. Doing so now would become suspect to anyone with half a mind. _So maybe, _he smirked, _no one would have noticed anyway. _

* * *

Snape had research to do, though not the sort he would have liked. Learning any information about that spell Rosemary had insisted be performed on Potter became of vital importance. They were unsure how much time they had, though Dumbledore, who was also investigating himself in his few free moments, assumed it wasn't long. The belongings that had survived the fire of Godric's Hollow had been searched the evening before by Dumbledore himself to see if that book Lily had used for the spell was there, but he had been unsuccessful. Snape wondered if the headmaster would give in to casting an unknown spell upon the boy if it came down to it. 

In the few moments Rosemary revealed what she knew of the spell, Dumbledore had learned very little. The witch had just said that Lily insisted that her son have it cast upon him. The transformation was apparently extremely painful and would take a toll on Potter, the spell would ease that process. If that was the only result of the spell, Dumbledore would have likely allowed it to go through, but Rosemary had also added another fact. Lily had also said that more than looks would be undone. This seemed to grieve the headmaster. Did this mean parts of Potter's personality or skills? Snape knew Dumbledore would refuse to have the spell done if that was true no matter how much pain Potter may have to suffer through. Or was it referring to something else? They just didn't know.

The first conversation of the meeting was to discuss the lookouts, which areas were they most needed and their shortage. Even with the several new lower level members inducted the night before, things were still stretched thin. It wasn't that there were more people currently on the enemies' side; there wasn't. The enemy knew where the attacks would be aimed and when; both the Order and Ministry could only hope they might be there at the right time or that they might pick up some clue to stop it. The side of the good had to be alert twenty four/seven and the Dark Lords targets were not as clear as they had been before his 'return'.

It was to Snape's dismay that until the likes of young Malfoy entered Voldemort's inner circle that information would be closed off to them now that his old connections and the boys' elders were in Azkaban. Just like with the Order, the process of entering the inner circle of the Death Eaters was a slow one and most minions never made it. Explicit trust and worth had to be earned in order for that to happen to placate the anxious yet still devoted crowd. It had only been a month and a half, but those days had been long ones.

They bickered back and forth on whether it was best to put their limited resources into protecting the residential areas, if so which? Or should the business areas be focused on? Where would the next strike be? Everyone had an opinion and was eager to voice it.

"Why aren't you on any of the watches?" someone on his left hissed loudly in his ear. "I've never seen you." Snape turned to see who it was as did a few others.

Elisabeth Kinney, Snape believed her name was and she was clearly frustrated with the current on goings. Snape stared at her long and hard, sneering. This woman was relatively new by Order standards and not worthy of his time though she must have earned her place here like anyone else. Only four individuals, including her had earned that right since the Order had been reinstated and two were the Weasley Twins, trusted, Snape suspected, mostly due to their birth. The forth was an Auror named Phelp, who had been introduced to the group a few meetings back. Snape had no opinion of him. Today, on the other hand, was the first meeting for both the Weasley twins and Ms. Kinney. She probably didn't even know who he was or his place in the Order.

"Severus has other obligations to attend to," Dumbledore said, leaning over towards the woman. His tired eyes were shinning as he gave Snape a supportive smile.

At Dumbledore's words she looked ashamed and apologized though Snape knew there was little feeling in it.

Limited updates were given by those who had them. This was the first meeting Snape could recall he himself not having information to offer, which appeared to surprise most. He was one of the few ties to what the other side was doing; really he was the main one.

"What do you mean you've learned nothing?" Bill Weasley demanded. It seemed the redhead had not forgiven him for last time. "You were supposed to get word on any others who may have joined his side, some of which will be going to school with Ron, Ginny and Harry. We're practically blind without your input on their actions!"

A few people grunted in agreement.

_Oh, how fast people turn._

"Just that," he said harshly. "I've learned nothing."

The recent revelation of having a son though had taken up his time and Snape feared it would continue to do so now that Potter was in his care. They did not know that however, nor would they ever.

"What have you been doing this past week?"

Snape's lips pursed into a thin tight line, "Obviously, ignoring my duties for no good reason other than my desire to do so."

Molly Weasley's eyes darted about the room with unease and Snape could tell she wanted to say something in his defense. Luckily, she did not. She had been warned to not seem too friendly with him under any circumstances. The best she could do was to remain quiet and not to openly back either side. She did just that.

"Severus has personal issues of the up most importance to deal with at the moment," Dumbledore said kindly to the group. "It is understandable he may not have anything new for us today."

* * *

Harry was spending the afternoon in the bedroom he stayed in last summer while the adults of the Order had their meeting. Ron and Hermione were on one bed and Ginny and him on the other. Almost immediately, Ginny found out the news of Harry's upcoming disappearance and seemed quite upset over the fact. 

"It's unfair they'd do that to you after everything you've done for the wizarding world," the redhead fumed.

Harry realized she was the first person to bring up the extreme unfairness of the situation and he was glad to know he was not alone in that sentiment.

"There is nothing that can be done. They've always gone back and forth between seeing me as the hero and the villain, anyway. Right now I'm the villain."

"I don't know if I'd say that Harry," Hermione disputed. "They feel bad for you. They just care for their own children more."

Harry sighed. If he were in their place, maybe he'd feel the same.

"Where are you going to go?" Ginny asked him.

"I can't tell you."

"Maybe they'd allow us to go too," Ron offered.

Hermione stared at Ron as if he were insane. "That's ridicules, Ron, really. Your mother would never let you do that."

Ron shrugged. "It was just an idea."

"Who will be giving you your lessons?" Hermione inquired, changing the subject.

"I can't say."

"You can't say much can you?" Ron frowned.

"Will they be giving you any special lesions, Harry?"

"Occlumency again and studying for my apparation test."

"Really?" Hermione said excitedly. "You're lucky. I wish- Oh, tests! Did you get your OWL results? Ron and I have."

Ron grimaced and Harry laughed. "I can't believe it took you this long to bring them up."

It was Ginny's turn to now laugh. "She was too busy plotting ways to make sure everyone would find out her and Ron were a couple."

"How did _you_ find out," Hermione asked her suspiciously. "Never mind," she waved the question off a second later. "Well, how did you do?"

Harry gave a twisted smile. "I failed Astronomy, Divination and History of Magic."

Ron's mood now brightened. "So did I," he said. "Though not Divination, I passed that somehow. I failed Potions thanks to that greasy git of a teacher."

Harry's stomach tightened. "It's not really his fault you failed, Ron."

"That's what I told him," Hermione smirked. "He didn't study nearly enough for it."

"It was a lost cause… and why are you defending him anyhow Harry? How did you do?"

"I got an E."

"_I _got outstanding," Hermione bragged.

"And everything else," Ginny and Ron mocked simultaneously, rolling their eyes.

Hermione grinned proudly. "There's nothing wrong with that. If you try hard, Ginny, you can get the same this year." She turned her attention back to Harry. "So what about the rest of your grades?"

"Es in Magical Creatures, Transfiguration and Herbology as well as Os in Defense and Charms."

"That's great. Ron didn't get any Os."

Ron yanked himself off the bed and stormed heatedly at Hermione, "You don't have to keep rubbing it in."

"I'm not, but it will teach you to study harder next time."

"We all can't be as perfect as you-"

Harry sighed and leaned back onto the bed as the two kept bickering back and forth. He wondered if this was what him and Snape were like… well without the caring or lust.

Feeling a tickle of something on his face, he swatted at it and opened his eyes. Ginny was hovering over him, staring down upon him with her large hazel eyes, her long cascade of red hair getting in his face.

"They never stop, do they?"

"No," Harry said breathlessly, feeling amazingly lightheaded. He lifted himself back up onto his elbows feeling odd yet strangely warm with Ginny being so near.

She smiled brightly. "The twins already have bets going on about how long they'll last."

"How long did you bet for?"

"A week though I said they'd get back together again and break up another week after that."

Harry couldn't resist to smile, knowing it was fully true.

"So you have plans to see anyone?" Ginny's hand flew to her month in a gasp. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she apologized. "I forgot."

"It's no big deal," he lied, shakily. "You still seeing Dean?"

"It was a joke, Harry."

When Harry glanced back over to Ron and Hermione, he saw it was now their turn to be the ones doing the staring.

* * *

As the Order members gathered for dinner, knots started forming in Harry's stomach. He never liked being the center of attention and was unsure how to best break the news to the selected few that would be there. It was fortunate, or maybe not, that he had gotten to pick who would be there. Besides Dumbledore, Ron , Hermione and Mrs. Weasley who all knew, there of course would be Lupin and the rest of the Weasley's, who had been so kind to him. He also figured Tonks and Moody should be there. They had come to the train station to help him with the Dursley's after all. Deep down, though he had never told them, he appreciated that. Many of those who should have cared about his welfare never had. Out of all his teachers only McGonagall would be there. Hagrid was currently off on some mission for the Order again. 

The unfortunate side of choosing who would be there was that he didn't want to leave anyone important out. Would Mrs. Figg mind if she wasn't invited? Harry didn't feel particularly close to her, but she had spent a good deal of her life watching over him. Harry though went with his gut and hoped he wasn't about to hurt anyone.

When dinner began he nervously picked at his meal even though he was starving and Mrs. Weasley's food tasted great.

"Is something wrong, Harry?"

He gazed up to see Mrs. Weasley smiling at him with soft sympathetic expression. She knew full well what was to come.

Harry swallowed, put his fork down and wiped his sweaty palms down his jeans. "I…" he hesitated. "I need to tell you all something."

All eyes went to Harry. He wondered if they even knew they had been there for a reason.

"I'm going away," he simply said to the confused faces. "Into hiding." He bit his lip. "Professor Dumbledore feels it is best I not return to Hogwarts and go into private training."

"What is this, Albus?" McGonagall inquired.

"It's just as Harry, here, has said," Dumbledore smiled sadly. "Harry will go into hiding and after tonight it will be some time before most of us see his face again."

There were a few whispers that broke out at the table, but most found themselves shocked into silence.

"But you can't," Lupin said shaking his head. "This is wrong. There are more than enough people at Hogwarts to protect Harry. You have asked me back yourself under such an understanding and I agreed. We don't even know if the letter was serious!"

"That is not a chance we can take and your presence at Hogwarts would still be most beneficial."

"I feel Harry could use me more," the werewolf stated with determination. It was very rare for Remus Lupin to let his emotions out like this showing the extent of his feeling on the subject. "If Harry is to leave," there was pain in his eyes, "I could help with not only Defense, which he will be needing, but other areas as well."

Dumbledore had opened his mouth to answer when Harry interrupted, "Thank you, Remus." It was the first time he called the man by his first name and it seemed to please him. "I really wish you could, but… you can't"

Harry hated Snape for this moment. Lupin was one of the few people left that he felt truly connected to and seeing him hurt, broke Harry's heart. Plus Harry really wanted it to be Lupin who he stayed in contact in the upcoming months. If Lupin didn't understand what his mother had done-- Harry was still uncertain how he'd take the news he wasn't James' son-- he'd at least understand the loss of Sirius. That guilt weighed on him far more then the circumstances of his birth did.

Lupin just shook his head in a weary daze, not happy at all.

"We'll miss you Harry," Hermione said trying to make things better.

"Yes," a few individuals at the table agreed.

"Your taking this well," one of the twins said surprised.

"Not really. Ron, Ginny and I were told earlier and have had a few hours to get used to the idea"

Harry wanted to say more but found he couldn't. Thank you for caring, for being there for me, it just seemed empty at the moment. These people were his first and only friends, family and mentors. It grieved him to 'leave' them behind and to deceive them. He just hoped that the sham wouldn't last too long.

"We're going to miss your birthday yet again," Ron mumbled as Harry got ready to leave. "I haven't gotten you anything yet."

"That's all right," Mrs. Weasley told him. "Any present will get to Harry. It will just take a bit longer."

Hermione eyes brightened at this. "Does that mean letters too? We can write one another through the year, Harry."

"Yes, those too," Molly smiled.

"Then, you be sure to write often," Lupin encouraged eagerly.

"I will." Seeing their sad faces he added," Don't worry guys, everything's going to be okay,"

Hermione laughed," Stop it Harry. It's us who are suppose to be comforting you, not the other way around."

Harry shrugged. "I just thought how hard it would be for you without my brilliant presence," he joked.

To Harry's surprise they didn't laugh and just nodded in agreement. It made him choke up that they felt that way.

Hermione gave him one last hug and Ron and Remus patted him on the shoulder as a farewell. He turned to Mrs. Weasley, who pulled him into a tight hug and whispered," I will be there tomorrow."

Harry nodded. "Bye."

His heart beating rapidly, he waved goodbye one last time and shut the door to the pallor behind him so none of them would hear his destination. Taking some green powder he threw it into the fireplace and stepped into the flames, saying, "Snape Manor."

End of Chapter 9

**Construtive feedback is loved and apperciated. Thanks. **


	10. Sweeping Changes

**Thanks** to the following for reviews: Athena kitty, starangel2106, Lexy 578, Mikee, Thirteen Ravens, The Lady Quotes, xikum, Kateri1, barbarataku, sakurasaisaka, HecateDeMort, dreamlover, Persephone Lupin, juliedecarson, crumplehornedsnorkack, Kris-tina4.

**Mikee**- Thanks. I promise the Remus issue will be dealt with though it will be a while.

**xikum** - Yup, Snape does know what Harry will look like and I think Snape actually knows what Harry will look like better then Harry himself because in Snape's vision Harry was 16 and in Harry's is was 11. Thanks so much for your comments BTW. They made me concider a few things and how best to fulfill them in this story.

**Dreamlover** & **Kris-tina4** - Thanks for your several reviews. It's nice to see people who review as they go along when reading a bunch of chapters at once. :)

**crumplehornedsnorkack**- Very sorry for taking so long and I'm glad you like the story so much. My sister who betas my fic tends to take a while in general with looking chapters over and in the last 2 weeks she has moved, started school and gotten a job so she had even less time than normal. I did use your kind review though to let my sister know people were waiting, lol. Your English is perfectly fine as well.

The moment Molly Weasley stepped foot into the Snape residence, her eyes widened with horror.

"You can not possibly have Harry stay in a place like this," she shrieked.

Snape's mouth went into a sour line. "Is it not enough of a palace for the boy?"

"Palace? This is a rat hole!"

The woman was clearly exaggerating. The rooms that were occupied daily were sparse, but basically clean and livable. As for the other rooms, Snape felt they mattered little and he told her as much.

She gave an annoyed expression and asked, "Where is Harry?"

"In his room, most liking doing nothing that could be taken as productive."

She waited for him to say something further, but was greeted only with a stony glare. "Well, will you take me to him?" she asked at last.

Silently, Snape swept out of the room towards the hall where Potter's room was. He was only barely aware of the footsteps pattering behind him. When he reached his destination, he knocked and an aggravated voice told him to enter.

Potter was seated on the small bed with a book laying out on his lap. He wasn't reading it though and was only staring out the window. He hadn't bothered to glance in Snape's direction since he had entered.

"Mrs. Weasley is here to see you," Snape informed him.

Potter jumped up excitedly causing the book to drop down with a thump and half jogged over to the door, where Molly Weasley was waiting for him and smiling. As Snape made to leave, she grabbed onto the sleeve of his robe, the smile still plastered on her face.

"Hello, Harry," she greeted him warmly. "I was just talking to... your father here. I was saying how this place could use a little fixing up and from the sight of this room I believe it more than ever. How would you feel helping me out?"

"Sure," Potter shrugged. "I'm really bored anyway. There isn't much to do in here." He gestured around the bare room.

"Yes, I see." She turned to Snape. "I assume you have basic cleaning supplies?"

Snape scowled at the gall the woman had to come into his home and do such a thing without his permission. He'd seem like an unfit guardian though if he told her in front of Potter that he didn't want the place cleaned up.

"Yes," he hissed. "They are in the cupboard under the stairs."

"Thank you. Harry, be a dear and go fetch them for me and place them in the kitchen."

The boy nodded and squeezed his way between them, obeying her orders at an impressive rate, in Snape's opinion; at least compared to his actions while in class.

Once he was out of earshot, Snape snapped, "You are not to do anything like that again! This is my home and you are best to remember it."

Weasley's face suddenly matched her family's notorious red hair. "And you're best to remember that you're a father now and should take care of duties like this yourself!"

Snape opened his mouth to respond, but she went on, "And don't say it's suitable. I'm not intimidated by you and I'd bet anything your mother never kept the place like this for you when you were young."

"What my mother did _is _and never will be any of your business."

"Perhaps not, but I think you'll find I tend to make Harry's welfare my business. Someone has to."

"If you continue on, I won't allow you anywhere near Potter until he is of age," he threatened darkly.

The woman continued standing tall, but Snape could practically smell the fear wafting off of her. "You wouldn't dare," she bit her lip and furrowed her brow. "You wouldn't."

He gave a small smile. Snape no longer had to imagine the fear was there, it was now evident enough.

"I'm just trying to do what's best for Harry," she added.

Snape heard a scuffling down the hall and glanced in it's direction. Harry was standing there wide eyed and fuming, his fists clamped into tight balls.

Molly Weasley's eyes followed his own. "Go wait for me in the kitchen, Harry. I'll be there in a moment when I'm through speaking to your father."

"Fine," he spat. "But if he carries out that threat, I'm out of here." Harry threw him a nasty glare and retreated from the hall.

Much to his horror, Snape found himself affected... no, more than affected; distressed by the words no matter how empty they probably were. He swallowed down his discomfort realizing he would most likely have to swallow something else in order to make this work, his much held onto pride.

"You may do what you like with the ground floor, minus my room, the library and the lab. That _is_ it."

Weasley's expression softened. "Thank you."

* * *

When Mrs. Weasley entered the kitchen, Harry was leaning against the counter, his arms across his chest. His green eyes immediately focused on her. They were as hard, cold and stormy as she ever remembered seeing in her life time. His face was flushed with anger and his expression had settled into a furious pout.

"You shouldn't have heard that," she said sorrowfully.

"Yes, why should I _ever_ hear something that concerns _me_?"

Molly swallowed, a bit frightened by Harry's tone. "It's not a matter of whether-"

"He has no right!" he screamed, stamping his foot down hard.

Molly sighed and cautiously took a few steps forward, timidly reaching out to comfort the boy. "Let me tell you a secret about him, his bark is worse than his bite."

"Are you sure? I've been on the receiving end of many of his 'bites.'"

"And just how many of those had you truly earned?" she boldly asked back, towering over him as if he were one of her many, at times ill behaved, children.

Harry glanced away. "He's just like the Dursleys. He'll blame me for every little thing and hang threats over my head every chance he gets."

"He didn't threaten you, Harry. He threatened me."

Harry grunted. "And that's better? Besides, _how _long before it is me?"

"He may level minor threats at you from time to time. All parents do. I do. Really, Harry," she shook her head, "you must have seen me threaten Fred and George countless times."

"Yeah, " Harry admitted with a slight smile that quickly turned into disgust. "And he's _not_ my parent. It takes a lot more then what _he did_ to be one."

"I don't question that fact, but what I saw in there was someone who wants to make it work. Trust me, he won't ever admit it, but he does."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Why do you care whether we get along so much?"

Mrs. Weasley gave him a sad smile, doing her best to remain calm and supportive. Harry needed that. "Because I care about you and you've been alone your whole life."

Harry began to protest when she added," And human contact couldn't hurt him much either. But you do both need someone."

Harry snorted. "Sure, we'll become one loving family."

"Don't roll your eyes at me," she admonished. "And I never said you would. In fact, I'm sorry to say, that I doubt you'll ever be as close as a father and son should be."

Molly was surprised to see hurt and disappointment flicker in Harry's eyes. Maybe the younger and newly found Snape wanted it as much as the elder did, but also wouldn't admit it, even to himself.

"You need to try, Harry."

"This again! Professor Dumbledore-"

"Is right and I'm also sorry to say it, but the trying to make things work will have to come from _you_." She pointed at him to emphasize the statement.

"Of course, because he doesn't _care_ enough."

"No," she sat down in the chair in front of him and looked him straight in the eye. "To be honest with you Harry, I believe something died in him a long time along. I'm not sure when; it was gone when I met him, but his ability to love... it just wasn't there."

"Great..." Harry said sarcastically.

"What?"

"Not only am I a bastard, but I'm from a completely loveless union."

"I never said that. I didn't know him during that time. It's something you're going to have to ask him about."

Harry laughed bitterly and sneered. "Oh, yes. I can see it now. 'Hey, when you screwed my mother was it just lust or was it something special for ya?'"

Molly pursed her lips crossly. Harry, on the other hand, had closed his eyes as if trying to calm down his own emotions.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't talk to you like this." Harry opened his eyes and there was a glassy, yet aware look to them. "And I don't even believe what I just said is true. At least, from what that woman... Rosemary said, my mum cared for Snape, even if he didn't in return." Harry sighed and ran his hand through his messy black hair. "I think he did too. I overheard him talking to Professor Dumbledore. Something in my gut says he loved her or maybe that's just wishful thinking."

Molly smiled, proud of him for the grownup breakthrough he just reached. "Maybe he did. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah." He then made a face. "It's weird thinking of Snape in love. It seems wrong."

"Everyone is born with the ability to love. He was young once too. I'm sure he at least cared for someone in his life. It's often the later actions and events in life that cloud those feelings. I think if anyone can, you will be the one to bring those back out."

Harry began to laugh. It started as a sputter laugh hidden behind a raised hand before turning into a full body shaking, eye watering, 'isn't that ridiculous' sort of laugh.

Molly placed her hands on her hips. The grown up breakthrough had been nice while it lasted. "What am I going to do with you," she sighed.

Several days had gone by since Molly first found out Harry's parentage and she had fallen into a bit of despair. Her presence in the Snape home had seemed to have worsened things instead of making them better.

Still, she arrived early each day after fulfilling some basic duties at Grimmauld Place. First thing each morning, Molly made sure Harry had eaten breakfast, which the fussy eater suddenly always did now much to her delight. In fact, his appetite had become quite ravenous compared to his former eating habits. She then enlisted his services in helping to clean the house. That task alone was the single thing going her way. Harry had been very helpful even though he wasn't able to use magic. It hadn't mattered much because many of the things they needed to do had to be done by hand anyway.

After the first day, she left with the kitchen suitably cleaned and the day after, it was stocked properly with supplies any household would need. Harry's room had been given a quick going over though it remained bare as it had been previously. Molly planned on pulling down some things from the Borrow's attic and bringing some things left over from Sirius when she got the chance, to lighten the room up and make it more a 'home' for Harry. There was no reason for Harry to spend the month in what looked like, to her, a jail cell; though she still hoped to talk Snape into opening the second floor where the real bedrooms were. She shuttered to think what condition they were in after years of going untouched.

Today, when she arrived she knew something was different, she sensed something was wrong. The house tended to be quiet, but now the silence had an eerie edge to it. Slowly, she placed the packages she had brought with her down and went down the dim hall to Harry's room, where she placed a hesitant knock on the door. When she entered, she found that Harry had not only not eaten, but he hadn't gotten out of bed yet either.

"What's wrong?" she asked, quickly crossing the room.

He peered at her wearily with his big green eyes over a blanket, which was far more suited for winter. "I don't feel well," he murmured.

She sat on the edge of his bed and felt his cheek and forehead. "You're a bit feverish. Did you wake like this?"

"Been like this since last night." Harry opened and closed his mouth and licked his dry lips as though he were thirsty.

"Do you want something to drink?"

Harry nodded.

She took an empty glass from his bed side and with a wave of her wand filled it with cool water. "Here," Molly said, tipping the glass towards the boy's chapped lips.

"Thanks," Harry yawned.

"Why didn't you tell your father you're not feeling well? I'm sure he'd have some potion to make you better and if not, he'd make one."

"We tried several," came a voice from behind.

Molly turned to see Snape standing there, his hair worse than usual and his clothing slightly disheveled. He looked as though he hadn't slept in a day.

"And?"

"They clearly didn't work," he stated blandly. "The headmaster knows. We believe it is the spell Lily cast undoing itself."

"Can't we do anything?"

"Only a spell-"

"Then do it!" she exclaimed, bouncing up. "Can't you see he's suffering?"

"I was _about _to say, only a spell we have limited information about and have concern that there might be side effects of." Snape quirked an eyebrow, a dangerous glint in his eye. "Would you prefer we hazard obliterating parts of Potter's inner self, as the headmaster so dramatically phrases it?"

"Wha-" she wrinkled her forehead in distress and looked back and forth between the father and son. "Have you at least investigated the spell to see if this would happen?"

"No, why would I spend my time wisely?" he huffed sarcastically. "Yes, obviously I have and we've discovered little more than what we knew to begin with. Lily left no trace of her research and if she did it, it was destroyed in that fire, which destroyed the Potter's wretched old domain. What did you think I've been doing these past and endless few days while you fussed over a little dirt and disorder in rooms, half of which we don't even use?"

"I didn't think..."

Snape eyes sparkled with amusement and his mouth twisted into a smirk. "No," he said coldly. "I fear you didn't."

Three nights had passed since Molly had found Harry ill and Dumbledore still had not given permission for the spell to be cast. Snape continued his strenuous research, being cautious not to tread too closely to dangerous ground. The original spell, Molly learned much to her horror, had been a dark one and the Ministry was paying extra care to anything that fell under that label these days. To understand the effect of the counter spell, which thankfully was not considered sinister, they needed to better comprehend the original. Snape already had a large mark, the dark one You-Know-Who had given him to be precise, against him in the Ministry's eyes and they would not over look this new one if they found out. Besides, Dumbledore's plans would unravel if people learned what they were up to.

Even Dumbledore was unable to contact the only person, a woman named Rosemary, who had been present when Lily had cast the spell. She was locked away in Azkaban, determined a traitor by the Ministry and sentenced for life for 'the attack' on Harry and the assumed use of dark magic. Snape often complained about the amount of time wasted with superfluous conversation when they had the chance to speak to her.

In the recent days, Harry sickness had only worsened and he now slept little due to the psychical and mental pain he was in. It left him weak and despondent.

"I suspect, if we don't cast the spell soon it will be too late," Snape told Dumbledore grimly as all three stared down upon the sweaty boy, who was grimacing and tearing in pain.

"Please," he choked, tightly gripping at the blanket covering him. "I don't care what it does. Just make. this. stop."

"We can't." Molly brushed some of his messy and slightly oily yet clean hair back. Harry's appearance had begun to change quite a bit in the past few days. The change was slight but it was still there and most obvious in the shape of his face, which now reflected some of his Snape heritage.

"It might happen anyway," Snape commented.

Molly knew it was true. Harry was changing in ways they could not comprehend yet. Dumbledore had pulled her aside and told her what was at risk and in far more detail than Snape had given her if they cast the spell. Molly's heart broke as she reluctantly agreed it was not worth the risk. The thought that they may lose Harry as they knew him...

Snape suddenly looked angry. "I can not comprehend why you are both mourning the boy if he does change. You claim that what Lily did was wrong. That she was deceptive to hide what he truly is. _If_ she altered his personality that is also part of it. _If _his personality changes that was what he was meant to be to begin with or is it that you're troubled you will lose your golden Gryffindor boy for something that just might be more like me?"

"It was never my intent to portray that, Severus and yes, you're particularly right," Dumbledore admitted. "I do fear losing Harry for what he now is, but you must understand that Harry is someone we are fond of and would fret to lose."

"I'm right here, you know," Harry grumbled.

Molly patted his arm. "We're sorry, Harry."

"No, you're not," he pouted, shoving her hand away. "If you were, you'd just do it."

"We believe, you will only have to wait until your birthday and it will be over."

"My birthday," he gasped, straining to push himself up into a sitting position and looking paler then he even had moments before. "That's days away! I can't take it that long. It just keeps getting worse."

"Harry calm yourself," Molly reprimanded and tried to make him lay back down. "You'll regret it later if you don't."

"I'll regret it later _if _I don't complain. It hurts."

"Stop whining," Snape demanded with distaste evident on his face.

Harry glared at them. Molly startled and glanced to the others to see she was not alone. From their taken back expressions, the others saw it too. The resemblance to his father was now becoming clear and uncanny.

Snape turned to Dumbledore. "Given that his presence is now _gracing_ my house, I assume Potter is now my responsibility now, is he not?"

The headmaster consented to this.

"Then this is my choice to make."

"Perhaps that is so, but you should make the decision on what will be best for Harry and not what you hope he might become."

"I realize that," Snape snapped.

Molly never recalled seeing the Potion's Master as grumpy and on edge as his currently was at this moment.

"I believe, what's best for Potter is him knowing that who he is hasn't been tampered with in anyway. Do you want him to always wonder?"

"He's right," Harry jumped into the conversation and was sitting up on his allows again with an intense gleam in his green eyes. "He's right."

"Harry..." Dumbledore warned with an uncommon displeased expression crossing his face.

"No! This concerns me most of all. Besides, I don't see why it matters. I take after him somewhat anyway. I just hide it. You know it's true."

This got a eyebrow raise out of Snape. "Really? How so? I must ask. I admit, I see little resemblance."

Harry glowered. "That's because you _barely_ know me and see what you _want_ to see."

"Harry," Molly said calmly. "I know you pretty well and can't see how you take after him either." Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Molly hushed him. "I think you just want the spell cast and I don't blame you, but we are only trying to do what is best for you long term."

"You only see a child," Harry spat once he got his chance. He was far too impassioned for someone so ill. "I'm _not_ what you think either. That damned hat even wanted me in Slytherin. You know it's true," he accused glaring at Dumbledore. "It said I'd do well there, that I was ambitious."

"Yes it did..."

Molly gasped, glancing at Dumbledore, barely believing those three words. Snape appeared shocked as well, but also very pleased in a way she could never be about that fact.

"Was that why you kept seeing the Sorting Hat ceremony during your Occlumency lessons?" he asked not bothering to hide the amusement in his voice.

Harry diverted his eyes as a blush crossed his cheeks. "Yes," he simply mumbled .

"Harry, I said that it was our choices which make us who we are," Dumbledore told him. "Not our birth."

"Yes and I choose this."

Dumbledore looked grave. "Very well." He took up his wand, but paused. "Are you certain?"

Harry closed his eyes and nodded enthusiastically.

Dumbledore reached into his robes. When his hand withdrew, a gem the color of Harry's eyes dangled on a chain held between the old man's fingers. Gently, the gem was dropped down upon Harry's chest. With that, the headmaster began to whisper a strange spell. It was sweet and flowing, almost like music.

Molly watched as a green mist began to waft around Harry's body. A slight breeze picked up. As the spell continued swirls of black entered the mist. It would have seemed peaceful if not for Harry's eyes going wide in agony.

Then, Harry gritted his teeth. Molly gripped her chest at the sudden pressure she felt there. The whirling of air filled her ears. What was happening? Her heart was beating rapidly and her red hair and robes were now swirling about her. Harry was now letting out what looked like a silent scream. Molly could have sworn that his eyes flashed pitch black before turning their emerald green again.

Then suddenly, there was a blast of blinding light and a whoosh of wind blowing away from Harry. She had to turn away from it. The light hurt her eyes and the wind was stinging her checks.

"Please," she begged in a shrill voice. "Make it stop!"

It did. Molly turned slowly back. Snape was lying next to her. He was nothing more than a black heap upon the floor. With much strain, he pulled himself up a bit. Not much, but just enough to gaze at Harry. A bewildered expression was on the father's face.

But it was the son's eyes that worried Molly the most. They had glazed over. They had the look of one shocked senseless. It was only for a moment that awareness reentered them before they fluttered shut. Harry was completely still. When the mist faded, she saw the gem was now a fine dust. Drops of what looked like blood ran down Harry's chest.

In shock, Molly quickly went to check for a wound. Her fingers groped about, being stained with the blood before she saw… there was none.

"Harry?" Molly whispered still worried.

"It's all right, Molly," Dumbledore comforted her. "He's asleep. We'll have to wait until he wakes to see what we've done."

End of Chapter 10

**Yes, I know it was a bit short, but I liked the cliffy.**


	11. Memories of Lily

**Notes:** This chapter is focused on Snape and Lily basically. It has very little to do with Harry in the current period. It does allow the reader to see a bit about where Snape is coming from. I hope it's not too out of character. And yes I'm still being purposely vague on what Snape did to cause Lily and Potter to become a couple.

This chapter was not betaed. I admit I was too embarrassed to have my sister read this even if the romance is light. blush

**Thanks to all those who reviewed:** starangel2106, Anarane Anwamane, juliedecarson, Kris-tina4, HecateDeMort, John Steppenwolf, Connie Eressea, Amanda Lily Potter, Kateri1, ShadowedHand

**John Steppenwolf:** Don't worry about me making Hermione too trusting too fast. I have no plans to do that since I agree with you totally about Hermione not trusting Slytherins in general. Also I view Mrs. Weasley as someone who fears losing her family and that she views Harry as being part of that. Snape threatening to cut her off from him totally in a time she believes he needs her would be a huge blow.

**Anonymous:** Sorry you think I suck and am an idiot. I honestly don't believe that Hermione and Harry would make a good couple so I have no plans on putting them together. Also I see nothing that makes Hr/H canon.

* * *

_Severus and Lily were sitting under the colorful trees of Autumn and were well hidden from any from any prying eyes that may dare come their way. In the distance, you could hear the cheers of the crowd watching the Quidditch game, Slytherin versus Gryffindor, which they had opted to 'forget' about. They were enjoying themselves far more anyway. It was the Fall of their sixth year and they had been officially dating for the last month. Severus could hardly believe his luck. The pretty Gryffindor liked him back... really liked him from the way she was passionately kissing him. Harsh words from the spring before had been forgiven and hopefully would soon been forgotten as well._

"_Mmmmmm," Lily nipped Severus' lip and pulled back, her hands cupping his face as her bright green eyes stared into his dark ones. "That's nice," she said breathlessly._

"_Yes," he answered her awkwardly with an uncharacteristic blush playing across his normally pale cheeks._

_Lily leaned forward with a sly smile until their two noses touched. "You really know how to make a girl feel good."_

_The blush deepened and his heart beat wildly. He wasn't use to such encouraging words unless it was a teacher commenting on his school work, particularly potions._

"_So do you... I mean guy though," he blustered. He pulled back again and sighed inwardly. Yes, they had been together the past month, but he still was useless and stupid around the female gender. All his sense went directly out the window at any contact with them._

_Lily laughed. "It's all right," she reassured him, stroking his black hair. "I bet I could make girls feel pretty good as well." She winked at him as his eyes widened._

_If she was trying to calm him, she had failed miserably. He was at more a loss of words then ever. Why couldn't they just kiss?_

_He leaned back in and did just that. It was a sweet and tender kiss, with an element of uncertainty to it. Severus was giving an air of being very solemn, but Lily was playful. She pulled away and mischievously batted her eyelashes at him. A wide grin came to her pretty face and she winkled her nose up in glee. In this moment, Severus thought her eyes had never sparkled more alluringly._

"_I care about you, you know," she whispered flirtatiously. Her lips were pursed as her eyes shinned on._

"_Yes," came his dull response._

_Lily's eyes became as solemn as his had been moments before. "And what about you, Severus? Do you care about me?"_

_She wanted to hear the words back and he had always felt they were understood. He never had said them and supposed he never would, but how could she not know how he felt?_

"_Of course, Lily."_

_Lily gave a small laugh and rolled over onto her back. She glanced happily at the hazy blue sky. "Why am I not shocked you can't say it?"_

_Severus frowned and thought on what to say. "Because-"_

"_Because I know you for what you are and adore you all the more for it." She rolled onto her stomach so she could look at him in the face. "Rarely ever straight forward, always sneaky and cunning like the Slytherin you are."_

_His frown deepened and he sat up with a jolt. Looking down upon her angrily, he spat, "If you wanted to_ bash _Slytherin you should have gone to the match."_

_Her light yet strangely earnest mood went unmoved. "I'm not bashing, just stating."_

_Severus relaxed a bit and after hesitating a moment, allowed himself to lay back down._

"_I said I liked you the way you are," Lily continued. "It just makes you all the more thrilling... You're challenging." Lily gazed at him with an expression of secret pleasure. "You'll say it one day, you know, that you care for me. I'm certain you will. Maybe even more than that, that you love me... and when you do_ I _win."_

_Severus jerked away again. He didn't know why he bothered to let his defenses down. She always turned around and teased him. "I'm not some_ cause," _he stated with a little too much passion. He was letting her know that she was getting to him._

"_No, I said you were a challenge... and I like that fact about you all too well."_

_Severus gave a reluctant wearily smile. He was liked... not by most, but at least this one person and for him that was everything._

_Reaching out he played with a lock of her flaming red hair. She was beautiful... And she liked him. He felt a wave of contentment. Shuffling over, she snuggled into him. There they lay. They said nothing more until they left, but neither minded at all._

Lily... Snape's memories of her were many and each was more haunting to him than the last. One could say, memories like that of that simple Fall day and the emotions behind them were branded into his scorched ruin of a heart. They were far more clear and far more vivid than even the world around him managed to be. Yet those memories were covered in shadow. As happy as that short time had been, he couldn't even look upon those days with fondness. They were tainted. Every misery that came after haunted and dulled them. His happiest moments were bitter to him now.

Lily had loved him. Loved him for who he was. That was something he hadn't know since. His Lily had managed to see through the feeble walls he had already begun building around his heart at the tender age of sixteen. Those walls were steel now. They were cold and hard, suggesting little of warmth inside if any even remained.

He doubted it. It had been snuffed out in a moment that had appeared to be his brightest; his most hopeful. It had been some three years after the day under the trees. She had come to him that night. When he first saw her, the light yet loving gaze had vanished from her eyes.

_When Severus had opened the door to his home, she had been the last one he had expected to see there and yet still the only one he would have ever wanted. Before he had the chance to react, she had plumped into his chest like a lost child. Her hand gripped onto his black robe as she trembled. Tears were running from her red and raw eyes._

"_How could you!" she cried angrily. "How dare you?"_

_The crying worsened and he stood there wordless. He was no better at handling women than three years earlier and this time he was all the more shocked by the situation. Numbly, he lifted his heavy hand to the back of her head, which he cradled in an attempt to comfort her. He stroked her long red hair, hoping he wasn't being too rough. Here she was in his arms and he felt nothing._

_And there they stood. Moments ticked on by, but neither made an effort to move. It was too unreal. Lily_ remembered.

_She pulled away, appearing far too weak and timid for his fiery Lily. Pain radiated from her watery accusing eyes._

"_Why?" she tried again. "Why did you do it?"_

_He stood there lost in his own shame, love and embarrassment. "I loved you," he admitted. It was the first time he had ever said those words._

"Loved _me?" she asked with an air of disbelief. She glared hard at him now. "Is this your idea of love?"_

"_It went wrong... as wrong as it could have gone._ I'm sorry... _You have no idea how sorry I am. I tried to tell you."_

"_Why?" she demanded. His words only seemed to enrage her all the more. "Why did you do it?"_

"_I was... insecure... and stupid. I was sure you could never feel the way I did so I- it was a mistake. I'm sorry."_

_He was holding back the tears now._

Don't cry, _he berated himself._ You're not Snivellus any more, fool... I'm not.

_Still the tears came and Lily's eyes showed him pity. Like a loving yet disappointed mother, Lily reached out for him now. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She kissed his cheek where a tear had just been. "Don't cry. I love you."_

_Her body was warm and so tightly pressed against his. He never felt so close to her, something that made him feel more vulnerable then ever before, yet through all this he still craved more. He craved something like the touch from a lover._

_Leaning her against the wall he entwined their bodies together even more._

No space between us... ever, _his mind screamed._

_She didn't push him away. That one simple fact gave him all the confidence he needed. Feeling a surge of desire, Severus shoved her against the wall and kissed her greedily._

Mine. She is all mine. _Every part of his self demanded that it be so._

_Scrunching his eyes together tightly in determination, he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her with everything he had. It was a hard almost painful kiss, nothing like the timid kisses of old. He was desperate to deepened it further, but found he couldn't._

_As several moments slipped away, Lily tried to turn her head away, but he wouldn't allow it. She groaned in protest and clawed at him, but still he didn't let her go... not until his own lungs burned with the plea for air._

Had that been what she wanted?

_Once they part they both gasped for air. Lily had a look of astonishment on her face. She hadn't expected him to act like this and from the look in her eyes she didn't seem to mind at all._

_Giving her a knowing smile, Severus kissed and nipped at her jaw hungrily._

"_Mine," he hissed in her ear. "You're all mine."_

_Pulling away, Lily stood there trembling. As she bit her lip and glanced down, Severus began to fell uneasy again. But he needed have... Whatever battle going on within her seemed to come to a close as she lifted her hand into view and stared straight into his dark eyes. The gold wedding band Potter had given her glimmered on her finger. With both hands shaking, she twisted the ring off her finger until it was balanced between the fingers on her right hand. Spreading her fingers, the ring fell to the floor with a clank._

"_Yours," she whispered._

_Severus rushed forward for another kiss, but she held her hand up to stop him. "Take me upstairs." Her soft voice was surprisingly shy though the fire in her green eyes gave off anything but the impression of her being timid._

_Grasping her hand, Severus gave her a dark smile and pulled her towards the dark stairwell._

The ring hadn't remained off Lily's finger long. When the light of day came Lily saw things in a whole new light. The dark mark on his arm, which she hadn't even flinched at the night before though he was sure she had seen and had known about before hand, had become the excuse for their reunion ending fast. He didn't blame her for being upset about it though he had wished that she hadn't gotten his hopes up the night before when the only 'sin' she minded was the one that threw her into Potter's arms... and she had forgiven him for that.

He'd never look at that night the same again. It was no longer just the night he had sex with Lily or the night before she had made her final choice of that damned James Potter over him. It was the night Harry had been conceived.

It seemed wrong that the 'savor of the wizarding world' had come from that night... Or maybe some would say it was just right. Symbols of the two sides, the Muggle born and the Death Eater, come together in a moment of love... or maybe even just lust... to create the boy that would put the war on pause for ten years and still seemed fated to end it completely.

Once again, Snape couldn't help but feel smug about that fact. It was no longer Potter's son who was the 'savor' and 'celebrity'... it was his and by Lily. In his own way, he felt as though he had won.

Only problem was that he liked the bragging rights he could possibly someday have, not the responsibility behind it or even the boy. And responsibility seemed ever bountiful at the moment. It had been several days and Potter was still in what they had labeled a coma.

Snape realized that if Potter didn't wake by tomorrow he'd miss his sixteenth birthday.

End of Chapter 11

**Thanks for reading and so sorry for taking so long once again on such a short chapter. I'm a Snape/Lily shipper so I indulged in it this time around. Next will focus on what happened to Harry and the Harry and Snape relationship.**


	12. Harry's Awakening

**Notes**: It's been a long time. I'm very sorry. Life sort of took over. I'm back though and have a bunch of chapters outlined.

Just to remind anyone still reading this, this fic takes place after OOTP. HBP and DH have influenced how I see certain characters though so some plot changes have been made. In the end, I think these changes will make a stronger story. None of these changes will conflict with what you've read in past chapters past chapters.

**To my readers and reviewers**: Once again I'm very sorry. It was those of you who kept asking me to update that kept this story in my mind during a hard time in my life. Thank you.

**Beta**: Thank you to my sister who betaed this and past chapters.

Severus had fled his own home after the Headmaster had completed the spell upon Potter. It had only taken a few minutes of watching the boy lay there, breathing in and out before he knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't bare the wait. He wasn't meant for this. Besides, bed side vigils? He could just laugh at the thought of him sitting by Potter's bed, holding his hand like a concerned parent. Never; What Molly Weasley thought of him as a father be damned.

Time passed. Night went into day and day into night again and the change was agonizingly slow. He couldn't sleep no matter how much he tried, so he worked. He worked like a man possessed.

Work had always filled his life, but now it dominated it more than ever. Snape didn't know why, but he felt the need to push himself to the limit to get information from the Death Eaters. He was sure it was more than avoiding his own homestead, but the true reason eluded him. He felt peculiar since the spell had been done.

Every moment he had the chance he was busy visiting 'old friends' and former students. The Death Eaters were indeed busy. There was much for him to learn. It was most unfortunate they didn't trust him, but he respected them all the more for that. It was very wise on their part, even though it was a nuisance to himself.

Still, he dined; he smirked; he nodded in agreement when they talked about all the good work Voldemort's people had been doing. Yes... they had done much. He knew all about it. He just wished these people would tell him more about what was to come. But no, they bragged about what was, not what would be, unless it was about the end result. Champaign and cheers all around. Their master was winning they'd say. The pureblood rule was coming.

_Now Severus, tell us what _you've _been up too_?

Oh, they _knew_. On some deep down level they knew him for the spy he was. Snape was careful though. Tit for tat; quid pro quo, he learned what he could from them and they learned everything they could in return. He was well practiced at giving information, but just enough information not to make them even more suspicious. And suspicious they were. Oh, sure they wondered where his loyalties lay, but they were never hundred percent sure. Spies were never trusted. Not in this war or any other the history books may have recorded. It was a marvelous dance through and through and he could tell both sides got pleasure at its careful cunning and grace. Who would be the first to slip? Neither side intended it to be them.

Still, as he sat with these pureblood families, the thought of that damned boy, his changing, his becoming something else haunted Severus. It was the Malfoy's presence that particularly undid him. Dear Narcissa Malfoy and her son Draco holding out hope that if they served their master well enough, Lucius would soon be home from his prison in Azkaban. That undying loyalty to those we love and the things is causes us to do. Snape knew it well.

_Lily. _

Over and over his mind asked_, 'Lily, why did you do this? I know I was wrong, but you were wrong too. You should have come to me. You should have told me you were with child. Don't you know I am a Slytherin. Look at us, look at _them_. We're not known for bravery, but we will fight. We'll do everything we can to protect our own.' _

And it was these thoughts of Lily that led him home. He had obligations to protect his own. Lily would have wanted it that way.

"Damn, "Snape thought as he entered his kitchen for the first time in days. After days of them, he sensed another interrogation ahead. Molly Weasley had insisted at staying at his house these past few days.

"For Harry," she had said. "Let me stay for Harry."

Why had he let her do it?

At the moment she was fretting around the kitchen, pulling draws and cupboards open searching for something.

"_What _in Merlin's name are you managing to do to my household at this time of night?" Snape asked. It was nearly ten minutes to midnight. How could she still find ways to annoy him at this time of night?

"I'm getting ready for Harry's birthday," she said rushing about.

Severus was highly amused.He crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow. "Don't you feel that a waste of time? He may not even awake and if he does surely this can wait to the morning."

"I know, I just... I need to keep my mind busy. It's been days." She shook her head wearily. "Besides, I have hopes he may awaken."

Snape doubted it. This was an abnormally long time to be unconscious in the magical world, though for Potter this wasn't his first time he had been passed out for days.

"And," she continued, "I'm worried about how my family is doing. As much as I love Arthur, he can't run a household. They need me."

"By god, do us all a favor and _go_ home then."

"Home?! Who'd tend to Harry then? Who'd nurse him? Feed him his replenishing potions. You've not been near him in days. What kind of father are you?" she accused. "He may not be in pain anymore but it doesn't mean he doesn't need care." She gave an exasperated sighed now while Severus rolled his eyes at her. "I'll just have to live off of Dumbledore's word that they are doing okay."

During his last firecall to Dumbledore, Snape had been told that the headmaster had taken to daily checkups on Harry. During these visits, Dumbledore had tried to give comforting reports to Mrs. Weasley that all was fine... at least with her family. But with each new word he had told her of the outside world, she became more worried, at times frantic, that her children were in harms way.

"Your children seem to endlessly escape the danger they get themselves into and if one doesn't, you still have plenty to spare."

This earned him a deathly glare from Mrs. Weasley. He was never good at comforting people.

"The amount of children one has doesn't seem to affect parenting. I seem to care twenty times as much for your_ only_ child than you do. What are _you_ doing for Harry's birthday?"

"Potter's-"

"Call him Harry for goodness sake." she interrupted.

Snape lifted an eyebrow. "It's best I not. Even if there was some reason I wanted to, he'll not go by that name for long." Harry was _too_ personal. Besides, Severus just didn't feel like calling Potter by a name that wretched James Potter had given him. As for using the last name, it was just plain habit for Snape by now.

"You are avoiding my question," Molly pushed.

"If you remember I was answering it when you interrupted with a minor detail such as what I call the boy."

Molly made a sour face. With this woman, he'd never win no matter what he said.

"As I was saying, his birthday means little in the way of things. A trifling present from Zonko's won't help him or anyone else in the years ahead. I've been busy with things. Each bit of information I grasp from Voldemort's inner circle is one new piece towards defeating him. I'm sure Potter will be more grateful for that in the end or at least he should be."

"The Order shouldn't come before Harry," the fiery redhead shot back, her hands on her hips in her trademark fashion.

"The Order and Harry's fate are tied, woman. And since you worry so much about your children you should realize that the Order and their fate are tied as well... the Wizarding World's fate to be exact." In the distance, he heard the grandfather clock strike the hour. It made his words seem all the more ominous.

It was midnight; Potter's birthday.

"So much weight upon your shoulders... eating their fine meals, laughing at their snide remarks. Dumbledore told me what you're up to. Are you there when they sleep too? You haven't been so much as near your son in days."

"Unlike you, _I_ have multiple responsibilities. There is my _socializing_ and there are less pleasant tasks such as lessons to prepare for."

"You've been teaching at Hogwarts for how many years and you don't know what you're teaching this year? Or... have you decided to be good hearted and help those children?" She asked non-believingly, her eyes narrowed at him in suspicion.

Snape scoffed, "_Those_ children? Why should I help them? I am not about to waste my time on children who weren't good enough to get in at the age of 11. Potter, on the other hand, I concede, must receive private lessons."

Mrs. Weasley did not know it but Dumbledore and Snape had spent a good deal of time talking about Potter's education. The boy who lived couldn't afford to be a drop out. No one knew what it would take to stop the Dark Lord and Snape wasn't going to let Potter's brain go soft... or softer he should say. He'd learn defense, he'd learn offense (this was something Dumbledore wavered at and Snape insisted on) and by Merlin he'd learn potions if Snape had to kill the boy to do it. This was what Snape had always wanted. Potter was under his control. He'd study what Snape wanted him to and as much as he wanted him to. There would be no midnight adventures or Quidditch to get in the way. Potter would focus on what mattered for a change.

There was also family pride. Severus had to accept it, Potter was his and he'd not have a member of his family, let alone his own son fail at what was the family's trademark, expertise in potion making. It would be a great embarrassment to him if Potter did.

Petty insult and all, Molly Weasley seemed pleased with what he had said. She didn't say anything back to the man but continued placing the ingredients for what ever she was cooking aside. From the looks of it, she was probably making a cake.

Someone else though felt the need to comment, "Greaaaat," the rough voice drew out.

Both adults look over quickly to the doorway where... my god.

Snape turned ashen white. There was a boy standing there. A boy who could have been his twin 20 years ago. He was tall, lanky, with black stringy hair. He was the boy in the Mirror of Aislinn. He was the boy who Snape realized was the famous 'boy who lived'... a boy who Snape could no longer deny was his one and only son.

It was Molly who broke the silence first. "Harry," she gasped in delight, engulfing the boy in a hug. "Happy Birthday. How do you feel, Harry? How do you feel?"

The boy didn't respond to this. He was looking past Molly's shoulder towards Snape.

Snape, himself, felt frozen. He didn't like what he was seeing. It was like he was staring at himself in his weakest days.

"Am I that ugly?" Potter asked. "Aren't you are used to seeing this in the mirror by now?"

"You're not ugly Molly answered," she answered in Snape's stead. The potions master was too busy gazing at the site before him. "You're... you're... " But even sweet Mrs. Weasley couldn't lie to save his feelings.

Potter drew back. This was the first time that he paid attention to Molly. "_God_, is it _that_ bad?" he said, lifting his hand to his face in horror.

"No dear," she assured him. "No, not at all. You're just... different. Have you seen yourself?" Her tone was almost bright.

Potter just shook his head, a look of disgust on his face.

"Here," she said cheerfully as possible, conjuring a hand mirror before her.

Potter walked towards the mirror slowly, taking a deep breath before glimpsing in.

"Spitting image." His voice was pained. It was now the boy's turn to become ashen white. Their eyes met and Harry looked quickly back to the mirror in disgust. "I guess there is no doubt now."

Snape remained silent. His chest felt tight. Something was crushing his insides.

"Say something, damn it!" Potter yelled after a few more seconds, throwing the mirror to the floor.

Molly went to comfort him, and to her surprise he pushed her away. Her eyes went wide with shock as Potter's defiantly glared at Snape.

"Well, _father_?" he spat.

The boy was using the word to hurt him and Snape felt trapped. What to say? He would rather just leave again.

"Happy birthday," he tried in a strained voice. Snape attempted a smile, but it came off more like a grimace.

He hated this.

And so did the boy it seemed. He had bolted from the room.

* * *

Harry ran from the room as fast as he could. How dare that man treat him this way. It was all that git's fault. Harry could have yanked his hair out and screamed. Instead, he settled on kicking the door shut and throwing himself onto his bed. 

"_Fuck_, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate this," he fumed through clenched teeth. What else was there to say or feel? That little outburst about summed everything up. He sighed, threw his arm over his eyes and tried not to feel anything.

To be numb, that was all he wanted.

Some time later, Harry heard a knock. It seemed Harry had fallen back to sleep. Opening his eyes, he winced_. Damn sun_, Harry thought covering his eyes.

"Harry..." It was Molly Weasley's voice, normally comforting but at the moment incredibly annoying. "Please, tell me you're okay?" she begged.

"Fine," Harry muttered. "I'm fine."

Harry dragged himself up and reached for his glasses before stopping himself. Habit... he learned last night that those glasses were useless to him now. His eyesight wasn't perfect, but it was just fine without glasses.

"I'll be out in a moment," he added.

That must have been enough for her because Molly's footsteps faded away.

Harry found them in the formal dining room. Dumbledore had now entered their ranks. The three were seated around the once grand table that was laid out with a light breakfast.

When he entered, Molly gave him a strained smile. Her eyes were slightly wild. She was in the middle of pouring tea for everyone, but the way she moved was unnatural. It was as if, if everything wasn't straight and prefect then something horrible would happen.

Snape on the other hand didn't look up. He was slumped down in his old chair glaring at his feet in a frightful manner.

But, it was Dumbledore's behavior that bothered Harry the most though. The headmaster was his typically jovial self. He took a cup of tea from Molly and sipped it with a satisfied expression. For him there was nothing strange going on here. It was like this group often gathered for breakfast each morning.

No one spoke to Harry. The only evidence they cared he was there was Dumbledore staring at him from over his tea cup.

"What now?" he demanded. It was blunt, but it was what Harry really wanted to know.

"We eat this lovely meal Molly has made us," Dumbledore stated. After a moment he said, "Sit down, Harry." He gestured to the seat next to Snape.

Harry plopped down next to Molly instead. "Well?"

"You're very impatient today, Harry."

"Gee, I wonder why," he mumbled.

Dumbledore watched him for a few seconds and than sighed. "It's time to prepare you for what is to come. We began this talk some time ago when you received your OWLs. With Voldemort's forces growing, your education has become more important than ever. Your private lessons will start directly. We'll start with the ones your father can help you with until Hogwarts reopens. They will be hard, Harry; challenging, but I believe you're up to the task."

"Alright," Harry consented. All of this was true.

Dumbledore eyes were intently focused on Harry. When he saw Harry had no more to say he went on. "And then there is a matter of 'your story'. It's simple enough; that you have come to Hogwarts in this time of danger, but we will need to decide on the finer details. I'm sure the students will be curious when they find out their Potion's master has a son."

Snape finally joined in. He had gone from slouching to being on the edge of his seat. "It has been decided your name will be Julian Snape."

"Why?" Harry quirked his eyebrows at the thought.

Snape didn't answer so Dumbledore did it for him. "Because Severus feels it was what your mother would have wanted."

Snape got a defensive look on his face. "It was your name in the visions," he explained. "I'd _never_ name a child that. No proper wizard should be given such a muggle name so it must have been... her."

Harry knew he was referring to his mother, Lily.

"Your father just can't bare to call you Harry so... Julian it is." Molly added in a nervous manner. She was either trying to help or was annoyed that Snape felt that way. Harry wasn't sure, but Bill to Ginny, not one of her children had traditional wizarding names nor did she herself.

Snape flashed an angry look at Molly. The air was tense and Harry had a feeling Snape was regretting picking Molly for Harry's confidant. _Well, too bad for him._

"If anyone asks, you were raised by your mother who has recently died. Her name was Alzana. She and I were married, but it was an arranged marriage at a young age. We didn't like one another so after producing an heir, we naturally chose to live apart. This is not unheard of in the wizarding world and people will understand."

"Won't people wonder why they didn't know this?"

"There was a short time between leaving the Death Eaters and teaching that I disappeared. We can say it happened then, a very, very short honeymoon. The time line is about right. We'll just say you're a year younger than you are."

"Why not just tell them the truth? That I was the product of an affair and you didn't know of my existence until recently? It would be easier."

Snape sighed dramatically. "If anything had gotten through that _thick_ head of yours, I would have thought it was the importance of keeping up appearances. Your mother knew the need to hide the facts surrounding your birth. I do need to keep some form of social standing. Voldemort's followers do have certain social standards for who is allowed in their society and a portion of the parents wouldn't want their children taught by someone with such lax morals as myself.

"As for schooling," he continued, "you were privately tutored here in England. We can not chance naming a school just to find one of those new brats does not recognize you as never having attended there."

"Why didn't I go to Hogwarts?"

"Because I teach there, it's as simple as that. Say your mother didn't want you near me. What mother would? Say the school board didn't think it would be fair for me to teach my own son. Anyone with brains would know I'd show favor."

"Won't people check?"

Snape was about to answer but Dumbledore broke in, "We are not without friends. The basic paperwork for their marriage, your birth and her death is in the process of being forged along with a land deed for a home. If anyone checks they will see that upon her death the property of one Alzana Snape has just been sold. Her son has gone to live with his father. We have been very thorough."

Dumbledore smiled proudly at himself and took a bite of the food no one else had even touched. Harry was sure that Dumbledore felt nothing could go wrong.

Snape went on, "You will be making several appearances during the rest of the summer to establish the fact that you exist. I am a private man so people will not be shocked to find they don't know something so basic about me as the fact that I have had a son. We won't even mention your arrival. You'll show up like it's obvious you should be there. They'll feel foolish to question your presence. They will think it is their own fault for not knowing about you."

The table went silent for some time. Harry started picking at the food after a while. He was so damn hungry these days. Dumbledore was eating as well, but Harry couldn't help but noticed the headmaster watching him.

_He's checking my behavior. _Harry realized. _He's wondering if I'm even me any more._

Was he? Harry really didn't know. He felt the same, yet he didn't. He was now 15 year old Julian Snape, son of Severus and Alzana Snape. What about the rest? Who was he? His life was now a blank page. Did he still love Quidditch? He thought about it. Yes, the idea of flying still appealed to him. What about Defense against the Dark arts? Yes, that too, for some reason now more than ever. How did this personality switch even work? Had one even taken place?

"Um, I don't feel different," he decided to add.

Snape eyed Harry carefully.

Molly on the other hand, gushed too forcefully, "Oh, that is wonderful Harry."

Dumbledore too seemed hesitant. His eyes had dimmed.

"What?"

Dumbledore said nothing and Harry panicked. "WHAT!?"

"I can't say… Julian."

Harry cringed at the use of the name.

Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment. "I do sense something different about you. I can't say if it's the spell or if these events that have changed you, but you do hold yourself differently than you did a short while ago."

Harry felt… well he didn't know. Numb maybe? Wasn't that what he wanted? Now he wasn't so sure.

"Just let whatever happens, happen," Snape suggested lightly. "There is nothing we can do about it now."

"Oh, of course you'd be happy about this," Harry retorted.

"Yes," Snape plainly stated. "Why wouldn't I be. This…"

There was a strange glint in Snape's eyes as he cut off his comment. It sort of freaked Harry out. Whatever it meant, it was clear there was far more on Snape's mind.

* * *

_This will put things right, _Snape thought again now he was alone. He paced around his lab, lost in thought. 

Severus couldn't help it. He was happy with the way things were going. Sure, the boy was moody, demanding and just a bit annoying, but Dumbledore was right. There was something different about him now. He could just feel it.

Snape felt excited somehow and he felt greedy with the knowledge of his new influence over the boy. And of course, he was smug knowing he was right. It was so rare he got his way.

Snape caught his reflection in a silver cauldron as he passed it.

_Poor kid._ The boy looked so much like him. He shook his head as to free it of the thought. The shock at seeing the physical change still overwhelmed Severus, but other feelings were entering now.

For once he felt _alive_.

He couldn't lie to himself. He didn't want the boy to stay the same. He wanted something he could be proud of but, of course, in the end, he didn't care what he was like as long as he was his and not Potter's.

Snape ran his hands through his greasy hair. He had to gain some control over himself. He had revealed far too much about what he had been thinking at the table. That was a bad thing for a spy. What the hell was wrong with him?

Regardless, his mind was abuzz with the possibilities. Lessons; that was the day's plan and that is where he'd start. The boy's lessons would begin today.

"Why today?" the younger Snape whined after he learned the elder's plans. "It's my birthday."

Snape shrugged. "You know what they say. They say knowledge is the greatest gift one can receive."

The former Potter snickered.

"It isn't a choice," he continued flatly.

Together, they crossed the decaying main hall to the other side of the house. He was sure the boy had yet to venture into this area. And if he had, Snape would have killed him.

Here, they were greeted by a set of well loved doors that few ever got to see. They were old and common, but beyond them was Snape's own little heaven. Snape paused a moment before considering if he wanted to do this. He looked from the lock, to the boy and to the lock again.

_Did he still want to do this?_

_Yes._

In an action that was far more dramatic than the boy could know Snape took an old key from his pocket and opened the door.

The room was a vast space; a library. Bookshelf upon bookshelf lined the walls. This collection went generations back in Snape's family. Some members, such as his father, had barely added two volumes to the whole library while others like himself and his mother had made it a priority. He loved this place.

Snape lead the boy across the room and towards two worn but very comfortable chairs set by the fireplace. His mother had placed them there. For such a cold, heartless household, she managed to create such a warm welcoming environment in the areas he let her touch. And in an echo of what his mother would have done, he already had the fireplace ablaze, casting a relaxing and disarming glow about the chairs. On the old oak table between them, a pile of books had been set. Snape had picked them out for the boy earlier. They were a good place to start. These books were not overly changeling for the boy's intellect; At least he hoped not. With this boy, who could tell?

Snape grabbed the first from the pile of books and sat down. The boy glanced at him for a second, unsure, and then mimicked his actions. The boy didn't look happy, but at least he gave a fleeting look at the book's title, Overlooked Spells Every Wizard Should Know.

Neither of them said a word. Only the gentle crackling of the fire and the boy's nervous shifting could be heard. The boy was anxious and therefore somewhat disrupting, but Severus didn't care. He laid back and leisurely thumbed through his own book, Famous Duels- Volume 1: 442-999 AD; A dull title for a very exciting book. He had read these books countless times growing up and with each page turned, memories flooded back to him. Whether it had been a gloomy, rainy day or sun filled spring day, it hadn't mattered. He had been often found held up in this place discovering worlds far greater then his own. And by that, the rumors came true; He had indeed known more curses his first year at Hogwarts then most 7th years.

Finally finding the page he wanted, Snape turned his attention back to the boy. He smiled. The plan had worked. The atmosphere he had created had its intended effect. The boy now looked relaxed. All the fight and worry that was in him minutes earlier was gone and Snape hadn't even needed to say a word. This would make his task all the much easier.

The boy noticed Snape's gaze upon him. He looked around the room once and whispered, "I had wondered where they all were."

"What?" He couldn't help himself. Snape wanted to know what that meant.

"The books," the boy clarified, gesturing around the room. "I knew you'd have tons of books, but I noticed there wasn't even one hanging around this place. After a while I figured you didn't really like it here so you'd not keep much here."

"Yes, well, most of the newer books I own are at Hogwarts. I leave the rest here because… well there just isn't enough room for them in my chambers."

The boy said nothing in return. Silence entered the room. For once it bothered Snape. It made him feel jittery.

No one besides himself had entered this place since his father's death. He told himself he was only allowing the boy to enter this place, which in all pretences was his sanctuary, because it was a practical place for the reading portions of the lessons. Snape didn't want his collection scattered about the house, but the boy needed access to the knowledge this library contended. Snape himself had learned half of his knowledge from the old tombs it held.

"First off," Snape said, breaking the silence, "no book leaves this room. If you wish to read one, you read it here. Most of these books are old and many are very rare. I will not have you misplacing them.

"Secondly," he went on, "No one is allowed here. Even, one Molly Weasley is not allowed in here. I will not have her accidentally rearranging their order in some attempt to dust this place."

Not that she'd need to. Like his lab, his other haven, Snape kept the room clean and orderly.

"Lastly, don't waste this chance I'm giving you." There were so many meanings to that statement Snape himself could not comprehend them all. The boy didn't know it but Snape was giving him access to the only objects his family had that were worth something. Snape couldn't help but wonder if one day this library would be passed on to the boy across from him.

"Whatever you say."

The tone wasn't harsh, but it annoyed Severus all the same. This boy truly tried his temper. "That's right. Whatever I say. It's about time you learned that. It will make the next few months tolerable."

The boy frowned. "Can we get on with this?" He was far less at ease now and the angry gleam was back in his eyes.

_Good going, Severus, _Snape chided himself. _Okay, relax; you've dealt with far tougher individuals than this boy._

"Each day we will focus on a different subject. One day will be Defense while the next will be potions or Occlumency and so on. Of course, there will be labs for potions and practice sessions for Defense, Charms, and Occlumency. For each topic, I will give you the appropriate books to read. You will have them read by the next time we reach the subject again. There will be no excuses. These will fill in your knowledge far better than a Hogwarts textbook could."

The boy smirked. "Aren't you going to give me obscenely long essays too?"

Snape didn't find the comment funny. He slowly leaned back into his chair and traced his lower lip as though he were thinking. All the while, he glared at the boy. Suddenly, a wicked smile came to his face. "I hadn't thought to do so, but now you mention it, I do like the idea."

The boy scowled.

Snape sat back up abruptly. Both of his hands were grasping the arms of the chair. "I'm not going to be as lax on my standards with you as I was at Hogwarts."

The boy's eyes were furious. "You've got to be kidding me! You were by far the toughest teacher I had… Well maybe Professor McGonagall came close, but _you_ expected far too much. No one can be _that_ perfect!"

"You are _not _some normal student just worried about passing their _NEWTS_. You should have realized that by now. Not everyone has your special little connection with a dark wizard."

The fire was leaving the boy now. "I did know, but-"

"You had _better_ things to do then making sure the Dark Lord stayed far from your mind? Look where that attitude has gotten you. Who is to die _next_ for your laziness?"

For a moment, Snape swore the boy would hit him, but he did not. The boy sat there still as stone, his hands clinched in fists and said nothing. He was pale and clearly shaken. Even at their worst Occlumency lessons Snape never saw him look so upset. Snape almost regretted telling the boy the reality he faced.

In several heartbeats, the boy grimaced sadly and ran his hands through his hair. "Whatever, you want. I mean it this time. I really have been dumb. I just couldn't help it."

Snape was surprised, but did his best not to show it. After a deep breath, he continued on as calmly as he could with going over his plans. "Today, we will start with a review of basic spells. You should know them all by now, but I would like to be certain. I'll take you into another room for that. You are never to attempt even the simplest spells in here. Do you understand?"

The boy nodded.

"That will be rule number four. After I see what areas you need additional work in, I will assign reading for you. Those readings will be done by the next time we practice the subject. I _will_ expect progress."

"Yes, sir." The words were flat, but genuine.

"Good." Snape looked down at the book in his hands. "I thought this volume on duels would interest you." He held out the book, Famous Duels- Volume 1: 442-999 AD, for the boy to take, which he did. "You are not the first wizard to experience _Priori Incantatem_ during a duel. In 823, the first case recorded took place. Reading it over might help you figure out what the future holds for you."

"Thanks," the boy mumbled, looking at the cover of the book.

"Page 397," he pointed out in a soft tone. "Now, come, there is work to do."

* * *

Dazed and lost thought, Harry merely floated by Snape's side as they went to Snape's next goal. That was, until they came to an abrupt stop. The doors swung open with Snape practically bursting through to the other side when they did. Harry, himself, wandered in slowly with his mouth gapping and his eyes wide. It was huge and… well, the words _gaudy yet imposing_ repeated over and over in Harry's mind. Bits of gold still shimmed in the dusty darkness and each footstep they took echoed about the hall. 

"A… ballroom?" Harry questioned in surprise.

Snape closed his eyes as if he were in pain. "Yes, I find it rather ridiculous myself."

Harry gave him an inquiring glance.

Snape sighed. "It's a later addition to the house. My father saw each grand house had a ballroom so he decided, being the practical person he was, that we needed to have one too. It mattered little that we barely had the funds for such ambitions… I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"It's interesting."

"Maybe for you." Snape gave Harry a shrewd sideways glace before going on. "You truly desire to know this?

"Yes." Embarrassed, Harry gave a half smile. For the first time he realized Snape's past was in a sense his past.

"It fooled no one, but my father deceived himself into thinking it did. He only held one ball. It was a weekend affair. There was far too much fuss for what it was worth." Snape sneered. "All the desired families did come, more to gawk at my father's attempt to be one of them than anything. It was a success in my father's eyes, but it cost him dear. He never had enough money to hold another one nearly as grand, therefore he never held another. There was no point in lowering one standards he'd say."

"Did you go?" Harry once again was curious enough to ask.

"Yes, I was your age at the time." Harry could have sworn a slight blush came to the man's face.

Snape looked around the room for a moment before striding across the floor, wand in hand. With a sweeping wave of the wand, candles began to glow about the abandoned room. "Let's finally put this place to use."

Harry readied his wand before pausing a moment. "Won't I get in trouble for this?"

Snape nonchalantly tossed his hand about. "The Ministry doesn't have the slightest clue as to where you are and if they are looking this will be the last place they do. Anything you do here will go unnoticed. Let's begin"

With those words, Snape threw a hex Harry's way. It was red, blazing and Harry had never heard of it before. Rather than see what it did, Harry leaped out of its way. It left a nasty scorch mark on the marble floor.

"Holy crap," Harry exclaimed.

Snape jeered, "You can not run from them all. If you want to be challenged, think; react!"

Snape threw the same hex at him again.

This time Harry screamed, "_Protego_". The spell defected off in different directions.

It worked. Before he even had a chance to smile another hex was headed his way. This one hit him and he keeled over at the dull pain, clenching his stomach.

"Gah!" Harry glared up at Snape with accusing eyes. _How dare he!_

Snape frowned, but removed the hex fast. "_Finio_!"

Snape motioned for Harry to get up. "Remember that, _Finio_. Again"

Another hex was headed Harry way. He blocked it, but yet another and another followed. Harry counteracted one with Snape's beloved _Finio_, but did not gloat. Left, right, straight at his head, over, Harry did the best he could, but some got through. He was tired, practically panting as they moved across the dancehall, but Snape whipped on at him one after another. One slowed him to a snail's pace while the next made Harry incredibly dizzy.

"Concentrate," Snape demanded. "For once in your life, concentrate."

Harry was about the scream enough when a tower of flames surrounded him. He didn't know what it was within him, but he found himself rising to the challenge.

_What now?_ Harry thought before screaming, "_Partum pluvial!_"

A heavy downpour burst upon them and it was with Harry's rain cloud that the lesson came to an end.

Snape looked amused and very wet. "That was perhaps the only creative spell you managed this whole lesson."

Harry shrugged. "I do have my moments."

Harry didn't know why, but he felt very proud of himself.

**Thanks for reading. The next chapter is basically done. It just needs for my sister to beta it. Hopefully it will be up by next week or at the latest the week after. **

**Notes**:

Alzena- 'a woman'


	13. Harry's Birthday Dinner

**Thanks:** Alex, Spartan Eragon, harriettapotter, Silvain Star, Anarane Anwamane, loveseverussnape, and karilii. For those who reviewed, thank you! Even Alex's comment on Harry being too passive is appreciated. It helps me keep an eye out on my characterization.

* * *

Harry left the lessons feeling wasted yet incredible. They had spent over an hour in that room. Snape had thrown his supposed intro course at Harry and Harry had succeeded at it. To his surprise, he had managed to get through the hour rather unscathed. He just wanted to scream, 'Take that Severus Snape.' After all these years tolerating Snape's insults, the man finally admitted Harry could so something right. Snape must have died a little when doing that. Harry just had to smile. 

At first Harry hadn't really tried. He had to admit that to himself. But then the determination came back. The more Snape taunted him, the more Harry remembered what lead him into the Ministry. He knew he would be forever haunted by the mistakes he had made. This was for Sirius. He had to do it for him. No matter what Snape said to Harry, he had to try. And when he finally did, it all came to him. He didn't know how or why,but when that wall of fire surrounded him the words formed in his mind and he did it. He fought back and conquered the spell Snape threw at him. Harry felt that was a start. He couldn't make up for what he did, but he'd never allow it to happen again.

The lesson had been the strangest Harry could recall. Snape had pissed him off as usual, but to Harry's surprise he wasn't nearly as bad as he knew Snape could be. The lessons were less like lessons of old with Snape and more as if Lupin had decided to go hardcore. He didn't insult Harry nearly as much, but boy was he determined that Harry wouldn't fail at meeting his standard.

After all was said and done, Snape had dragged him into the library.

"That was passable." Snape had told Harry.

Harry had nearly died of shock, at being complimented; by this man of all people.

Snape had then handed Harry two books and told him to have them read in three days time. Harry stared at the books unsure, but hesitantly took them from the Potion Master's grasp.

"Remember it was _only_ passable," he reminded Harry as Snape was leaving the room. "You have a lot of work left to do. You better start reading."

With that Snape swept out the door in a way only he could.

By that evening Molly Weasley had created quite an affair for Harry's birthday. The table was loaded with a variety of tantalizing food and treats. It was not up to Hogwarts standards of course, but they sure did look good. Meals at Snape's tended to be filling, but very basic. There were plates full of potatoes, a verity of vegetables, chicken, thick custards and even a bowl of colorful fruit. It was far more than the four of them could ever eat in one sitting, but Harry wanted to sample it all.

There was even a nice pile of gifts laid out in the corner that were just for him. In a way, Harry found the sight far more pleasant than receiving his presents one by one from incoming owls. It did remind him of his days with the Dursley's though. Harry had known each year Dudley would get a whole table of full presents while on his Birthday Harry was lucky to get a wire hanger.

"Have the happiest of birthdays, Harry." Molly rose a glass of wine to him. They were all seated around the table, enjoying Harry's birthday dinner.

"Here, here" Dumbledore smiled, doing the same and then quickly whispering to her as if no one would notice, "Remember it is 'Julian' from now on, Molly."

She frowned.

Snape also rose his glass for a second and then quickly took a sip.

The food was fantastic, but as Dumbledore, Molly and Snape started to talk, Harry's mind wandered. He missed people his own age. This really wasn't much more fun than spending his birthday alone. It was only when a certain name was said, his attention was drawn back to the conversation.

"Remus is greatly worried over his findings in Umbridge's papers," Dumbledore said.

Snape rolled his eyes. "When is that mongrel not fretting over some imagined injustice?"

"I was there when he read them. I admit they did seem rather stupid," Harry shrugged. He didn't like Snape's comment, but in this case Harry thought that Snape just might be right.

"Perhaps," Dumbledore reflected. "One might get that impression if they only looked at a file or two, but taken as a whole there is something quite unsettling about them. Remus has given these papers serious study and believes this isn't Umbridge's personal project or vendetta. They seem to be aimed at achieving Ministry goals. Remus believes, the Ministry is deeply involved in this and after looking at the finer details for myself, I must agree."

Harry stomach lurched. The comments had seemed so ridiculous at the time, but the Ministry being involved? Harry didn't know what to say, but he sure knew what he thought of that idea.

"Stop worrying the child!" Molly demanded. Her head whipped towards Harry. Her eyes were searching. "You look like you're going to be sick."

Snape leaned forward. "If you asked me, I'd say for once everything was right with the boy. From the looks of it he's finally using that brain of his." Snape snickered.

"This isn't funny," Harry finally said. The sound of his pulsing heart filled his ears.

"No one ever said it was," Snape replied dryly.

Dumbledore eyes crinkled in an inquisitive expression. "Well, Julian what do you make of this news?"

"That… That…" Harry sighed. Even as he was about to say it, Harry still had a hard time believing it. "That the Ministry is leaning towards Voldemort's ideals."

Snape hissed and Molly gasped at Voldemort's name.

Dumbledore's expression was both impressed and sad. "Very good, but not on purpose. Have you figured out why?"

Harry's forehead wrinkled in deliberation. "It's obvious. They're afraid of anyone who's different. It doesn't matter if they're a werewolf like Professor Lupin or if they are like me and just hate the ministry." He shook his head. "It's like if you don't see everything their way than you are against the Ministry and with Voldemort."

"Stop saying his name," Snape snapped.

"Yes, please," Molly exhaled, clearly shaken by it use as well.

"But how?" Harry asked Dumbledore, ignoring the other two. "How has it gotten that far?"

"There has always been certain bias' in our community and though it is most unfortunate, people will always look the other way due to fear. They foolishly think that they are safe. It is some nameless face, someone they will never meet, that will be persecuted." Dumbledore's eyes flickered to Snape. "And what does it matter if some 'half breed' might be inconvenienced."

Harry frowned. "They're wrong."

"It is something we are keeping our eye on. For now, it just seems as though the Ministry is creating a list. It is only when they put that list to use that we have the problem and we've yet to see evidence of that." Dumbledore gave Snape a knowing look. Harry knew there was more to the story then Dumbledore was admitting.

Harry took a bit of his food. It was getting cold, but still tasted better than anything Harry had eaten in some time.

"So how was the lesson, Julian?" Dumbledore changed the line of conversation.

"Strangely fun," Harry said before shoving a potato in his mouth.

"That's the spirit," Dumbledore encouraged. 'I always say-"

"Fun?" Snape interrupted forcefully. "I suppose that at least it will give you a reason to practice for a change," he sneered.

Harry could feel the heat spread throughout his face. Before he knew it, the words were rushing from his mouth, "I'm doing this for Sirius."

Snape flinched.

"You don't like that, do you? But it's the truth."

"I rather you do it because it was _fun_."

Harry could see the hate radiating from the potion master's eyes. Harry just knew that every injustice Sirius ever committed against Snape was coming back to him. The two had loathed one another.

As Harry thought about it, he couldn't blame Snape. He remembered all to well the memory in the pencieve. For the first time, it occurred to Harry, that the scene took on a whole new meaning for him now. It was no longer his father, James and his godfather Sirius Black tormenting his despised teacher. It was now watching the person Harry cared most about, humiliating someone Harry should feel something for, but didn't. It was a twisted situation. It made Harry feel even sicker now.

"I'll do it for both," Harry finally replied quietly. "And because I have to learn"

* * *

"Oh, where to start," Molly said looking at the presents and finally picking one out. "Here," she thrust one in his hands, "this one is from Arthur and me."

"Thanks," he said ripping the paper off. It was a box of homemade candies. Harry gave her a bright smile. Mrs. Weasley always pulled through with his summer stash of sweets. Harry took a bite of a piece of fudge. "Thanks again," he mumbled still chewing the delicious treat.

Molly was beaming. She looked delighted that Harry enjoyed her gift. Harry realized that after all these years of her giving him presents, this was the first time she had been there when he opened it

The next gift was from the twins. As he opened the box, a puff of blue smoke wafted out forming two perfect Ws. Sparkles rained down from the Ws landing on neatly wrapped pieces of their own special brand of trickster candy. Harry laughed at the outlandish show before him. "Ahhhhhhh." The high-pitched sound of the twins voiced radiated from the box in a 'heavenly chorus.'

Molly covered her eyes in embarrassment. "They'll never give up, will they?"

"Lucky for the world, no" Dumbledore chuckled cheerfully.

"Oh well, they have a good heart." She sighed. "Here's Hermione's, dear." Square shaped and obscenely thick? Molly handed over what could only be a book to Harry; A very typical Hermione gift.

"My reading list is a bit full at the moment." Harry smiled, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, go on open it."

Harry did. It was an anthology of Wizarding mysteries featuring 'the much beloved story by CW Spellcraft, "The Case of the Missing Wand"'.

Harry looked up in delight. "Weird, I had no idea that wizards had books like this."

"Of course we do."

Snape, who had been sitting there rather stiffly and watching them with boredom, suddenly picked up the book from the table. A nostalgic looked ran across his face.

"Notice anything interesting, Severus?" The headmaster questioned with a gleam in his eyes.

"Nothing particularly, I just remember reading this when I was a boy." With that he put the book back down and shoved it back towards Harry.

"Next, my Ron." Molly picked up one present and then put it back. "Oh wait, Ginny sent one too. Why not do hers first?"

Harry knew right away it was also a book. Ripping the gift wrapping away, Harry was greeted with a blank cover. Harry flipped through the pages. They too were blank.

"A diary." Harry's face fell. It was a strange gift given their history with the object.

"That was very nice of her wasn't it, Julian?" There was warning in Dumbledore's tone.

"Yes, it was," Molly answered for him. She looked at them both, confusion was written across her features. To this day, she still didn't know about Ginny's second year adventures with another diary and what they had almost cost her.

Harry attempted to smile. "Tell Ginny 'thank you' for me." Harry looked back down at the diary. He was simply puzzled at what Ginny had been thinking. Apprehensively, he flipped through the pages one last time. It was at that time, he noticed a short note at the beginning.

_Harry, _

_See! Now you're not alone. There will always be someone to talk to. And shut up, I know you're not a girl._

_Ginny_

_P.S. And don't worry. There is nothing weird about this diary. _

Harry eyes shone brightly. He gave Molly a twisted smile. "And tell her I'd never tell her to shut up. It's great."

Molly returned Harry's smile with an unsure one of her own. "Yes, well now Ron's." At this, she handed Harry the gift.

Wrapping paper went flying to the floor again. "A… radio! This is fantastic." Harry turned the radio over in his hands. There was no place for batteries. This was a Wizarding radio, like the one the Weasley's had in their home. Harry turned it on. Loud rock music blared from it.

"Will you stop that blasted thing from screeching?" Snape exhaled dramatically rubbing his temples.

Harry smiled and placed the radio aside. _Oh, this was going to be fun._ Snape loathed the radio. He now had a prefect weapon of revenge when he needed it.

The pile of presents had dwindled to nothing."That was great."

"Silly me, how could I forget? There is one more gift for you, Julian." A small, plain rectangular box topped with a ribbon popped into being and landed in Dumbledore's outstretched hand. "Here, you go."

Harry pushed the ribbon aside and lifted the cover off. Inside were small cardboard pieces. "A puzzle?"

"Not just any puzzle. This one has unlimited possibilities. Each time you finish one puzzle, it will transform into a whole new challenge for you." Dumbledore looked pleased with his gift choice.

"Wow, thanks." Harry had never been one for puzzles, but this one sounded better than the Muggle kind.

To Harry's surprise, when he looked up he found Molly casting a fierce glare at Snape. Harry didn't have to guess twice to know why. But, in a weird way he was thankful knowing that Snape hadn't gotten him a present. It would have been forced and awkward if he had.

Snape's scowl deepened. He pushed his seat back and got up. "Now that this is over I have things to do." He gave one last defiant look at Molly before storming off.

The room went silent as he left the room.

Finally, Dumbledore sighed. "Alas, it is time for myself to depart as well."

"So soon? But no ones had dessert." Molly frowned.

"Ah, and I would have liked to have a piece of that strawberry cake you made too. Sadly, I must go. Do save me some. I do plan on stopping by tomorrow."

"Why not just stay an hour longer?"

"I'm afraid I am getting old." Dumbledore smiled. "Or older I should say. I was old long ago. Besides, I have an early engagement. The final decision on whether the new students will intergraded into classes with their peers is tomorrow. They expect me to testify."

"What will you say?"

"That anyone looking for safety from Voldemort is welcome behind Hogwarts' walls. I can't allow for classes to be interrupted by new students though. I am headmaster after all and the student's education comes first. Do you agree that is the right path, Julian?"

"Ah… I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

"Even though what happens to them also happens to you?"

Harry shrugged. "I've been busy of late… being passed out and all."

"Yes, that might make deliberating school policies difficult for you. Ah, but time ticks by. I must once again say goodnight."

"Night."

With that, Dumbledore exited the room. Harry found himself alone with Molly Weasley and an over sized strawberry cake.

"About your father not getting you a present, Harry; don't feel bad. He-"

"I don't." he assured her. "He's right . There is no reason for him to give me a gift just because he's...you know. It would have been weird."

"He should have-"

"No he shouldn't. I don't mind! This was really a great birthday for me. Thanks."

Harry could see that she wasn't happy with that excuse.

Harry shoulders fell. "Look, he took me into the library today. That was pretty cool. He has a ton of books and is letting me read whatever I like." He shrugged. "That's good enough by me."

"Harry…"

"Stop pushing!" Harry snapped. "You just can't make us feel things for one another. I'm confused enough as it is. I mean _him_ of all people, him…_ my father_."

"I know, dear."

"No, you don't. Stop trying!" Harry tugged at his hair and sighed. His voice was more even now, "Look, things are going okay. I haven't hated him as much this last day or so. Trust me, that's… incredible."

Molly looked defeated. "I'm not going a very good job at this."

Harry lifted an eyebrow and gave a bitter smile. "No one is."

Molly shook her head as if giving up. "Now that you're well, I'm headed home tonight. I just wanted to stay to make sure your birthday went as well as it could."

Harry stared at his substitute mother. There were tears in her eyes. Harry went to her and gave her a small hug. "Thanks."

"I will stop by like planned before. You should see me every few days… unless you don't want to?

"I do want you to stop by," Harry said with some enthusiasm. "Someone needs to make sure Snape hasn't hexed me to death."

Molly gave a sad smile. "I will."

* * *

Severus sat in the dark silence of his bedroom. The house that had been active hours before now stood dead as though Lily's secret had never been unfurled. It was as though he was alone; there was no boy sitting one room over torturing him.

For once in his life Snape didn't know what he was going to do. This situation wasn't one he was made for. After the lessons, then what? What did this boy want from him? He now found expectations of him forming, even if they were not from the boy. The eyes accused. _You are his father. _

In blood only.

Why had Lily done this to him? He wasn't prepared for it. Why did she have to die and leave him the boy? Why did she ever have to die?

He ached to see her face again. He ached to see the visions in the mirror. There, they were happy. In them, he was more real, more human than he'd ever be in reality. Of that he had no doubt.

He wanted the mirror. No! No, he needed the mirror. Tomorrow would come and tomorrow he'd make sure it happened. He'd see its luring images once again.

**If you liked the chapter please review! They really make my day. **

**Question to readers- I plan on exploring the 'mirror' world some more and also revealing what happened between Snape and Lily in the 'real' past. Would it be to confusing for you to do both? I have a clear vision of both worlds, but I don't want you all sitting there with question marks over your heads. **


	14. Negotiations and Far too Much Tea

**Thanks:** coymelody, loveseverussnape, xikum, karlii, and fhippogriff for your reviews. They mean a lot to me.

Xikum- Thanks for the feedback. The family in the mirror world is Snape, Harry, Lily, and the two girls. The boy Harry sees in chapter 4 is himself. He just doesn't realize it yet.

Karlii- Thanks for the feedback to my question. Also I remember getting your review while I was writing a new chapter after so long. I just wanted to say, "Hey! Don't worry. A new chapter is on its way." It was people like you asking for the update that made me not give up.

**Beta Thanks: **Once again I'd like to thank my sister for betaing this fic. Also I'd like to give the biggest thanks to Spartan Eragon for volunteering to beta for me as well. Your feedback and editing of my bad grammar is priceless to me.

* * *

Harry woke. There had been no dreams of Sirius that night…but even so he was as exhausted and drained as he had been the night before. There was a heavy feeling in his heart that simply couldn't be explained, and it hurt.

Looking out the window at the steady summer sun, Harry wanted nothing more than to shut himself away.

Bleary eyed, Harry pushed his crumpled blanket aside and shuffled off to the bathroom. As he washed himself,Harry sensed the more than apparent changes, but dared not look upon them. He brushed his teeth. He told himself he had seen them once before and there was no need to see them again. He combed his hair. It was then, the inevitable happened.

Like any eye blatantly attempting to avoid what was before them, they found their intended target. One glance was all that was necessary for an image to be seared into his mind.

_A sad and worn boy who hastily avoided looking at himself. _Green eyes glowed from beneath stringy black hair that hung down in his face. No longer had he the need to hide his most identifying feature. Still, the lightening bolt scar looked like a fresh slash against his pale skin.

Harry sat on his bed a while. He pondered as he gazed at bare walls. Mrs. Weasley promised to bring him some comforts of home. She never had. She was back with her family, leaving Harry with his.

Harry's room was simple. It held only a bed, his school chest, and a night stand. The only object upon the nightstand were his glasses. Harry couldn't bring himself to look away from them. They were completely worthless to him now.Gritting his teeth, he snapped them in half. He didn't know what had come over him. He stared down at the broken pieces. These glasses, they had always been something that were all his own. Even at the Dursley's when he had had next to nothing,he had these glasses. And that sad excuse of a room, he had that too.

Harry glanced at what was now supposed to be his. There was nothing. It _wasn't_ his. It had nothing to do with him or the person he was now.

Feeling trapped in its emptiness, Harry escaped from his prison.

Harry wasn't sure where to go, since he couldn't wander the house alone, he headed for the kitchen. There, he found Snape. It wasn't the face he had wanted to see, but Harry shoved himself morosely into the chair at the table anyway.

Harry laid his head on his crossed arms and let out a sigh. Looking from the corner of his eye, Harry saw Snape raise an eyebrow and sip his tea, the only sign of having acknowledged his son.

Snape was reading the Daily Prophet, a bold front page headline screaming, **The Final Verdict: Parents Desperate Plea to be Heard**. In smaller print Harry saw another headline: **Hogwarts' Heartless Headmaster to Testify. **

"You better eat something," Snape finally said, continuing to read his paper and drink his tea. His eyes had yet to even meet Harry's.

After a few moments "I will not suffer your incessant whining that you're hungry all day."

Harry reluctantly dragged himself up. He went over to the cupboard and pulled out some leftover chicken and cake from the night before and sat back down. After several scoops of cake, the silence began to aggravate him. Harry had never been one for talking much to adults, but they were alone in this house and the sound of the dripping faucet was irritating him. It was enough that he was willing to make small talk, even if it was with Snape. Glancing up at the paper, he asked the first thing that came to his mind, "The Daily Prophet sides with the parents?"

Even to his own ears it was obvious he had no true interest in the answer.

For a moment, Harry didn't think Snape was going to answer.

"Of course," Snape finally said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Its all so _heart wrenching_, how could such a tragic story _not_ sell papers?"

Harry took another bite then murmured, "There has to be more to it than that."

"They claim that nine children could hardly cause much trouble at the school. Clearly none of them has ever been a teacher."

Harry perked up. "Only nine? I don't see what the big deal is either. I had thought it would be a lot more."

Snape finally put down the paper and looked at Harry.

"The headmaster feels that over time the number will grow. How much, he is unsure, but he feels that we must be careful in the early phases of this so that it doesn't get out of hand later. He is attempting to ensure the classes are not overrun and the Hogwarts' standards are notcompromised."

"Oh." He paused for a moment, adding, "But the new students will be taught."

"I thought that point was obvious."

Harry glared. "I was just saying…"

Snape, seemingly bored with the conversation, picked his paper back up. Harry, himself, finished his cake and pushed the plate away. After a few more moments of silence, he pushed himself from his chair and made his way to the library.

* * *

Much to Harry's apprehension, he found they'd be working on potions that day. Snape, potions, and himself were never a good combination.This was destined to end badly, but Harry knew it would be worse to avoid going. It was as if he were standing on the deck of the Titanic, watching the iceberg draw ever closer to the climax. Sure, he could jump off the ship before it sank, but that water was damned cold and he'd just end up drowning anyway.Soit was with great dismay, he entered Snape's lab.

As with the library, this room actually showed remote signs of life. It was small and somewhat confined with all the objects crowded within it. Cauldrons lined one wall while two others had rows and rows of neatly arranged bottles and jars along them. Books were scattered throughout the room though there were a few bookshelves set in the corner just overflowing with them. Between them and the library, he didn't understand how someone could have time to read so many books.

Snape was standing at the table in the center of the room. The first thing Harry noticed was a small cauldron standing over a flame. It was less then half the size of the one Harry used in school.

When he peeked at what was inside, Harry saw a small amount of clear liquid boiling. He took a whiff. "Water?" he tried.

A pained expression crossed Snape's face. "Very good, you've managed the comprehension of a two year old."

Harry stepped back and glowered. "I should have jumped."

Snape gave him a strange look, but went on, "Given your _excellent_ guesswork, what type of potion do you believe we will be brewing?

Harry glanced at the table where the ingredients were carefully sorted out. "I don't know."

"Look. At. The. Ingredients." Snape said through gritted teeth.

Harry took a step forward as his eyes passed over the table. Most of the contents were a common base to any basic potion;moth wings and thistle. Harry was about to give up when something caught his eye.

Picking up a small bottle filled with deep crimson liquid he saw scrawled upon the label were the words 'chameleon blood'.

_That is interesting, _Harry thought. He couldn't remember ever using that in any potion he had made. He dove.

"Err… a potion that makes you blend in?"

Snape's eyes shone with surprise and the corner of his mouth gave a twitch. "In its liquid form, yes, it could. Are you able to notice anything else?"

Harry stared at the ingredients hoping something else would come to him.

_It was all _so_ basic._ Never any good at this, Harry shook his head and closed his eyes in frustration.

_In its liquid form_…

Harry's eyes fluttered open. Calmly, Harry looked over the materials again. Just as he thought, next to no liquid was being used.

"Are we making a… powdered form?"

Snape quirked an eyebrow, "Interesting. What makes you say that?"

"Am I right?"

"Actually, we are making the cream or paste form."

Harry shrugged, "Same difference."

"If you insist."

"Yeah, I do. That's not really a potion, anyway."

Snape eyes narrowed. "By pure definition no, but it takes similar magic and skills."

"The only creams I know are ones in cakes and the stuff Aunt Putunia put on her face…" The first flash of humor Harry felt all day came to him. "Wait! Does it make wrinkles go away?" He gave a weak smile.

Snape scoffed. "Not go away. It makes any deformities, such as scars blend in with the skin surrounding it."

"We are making magical concealer?" Harry asked disbelievingly.

"In a sense. But unlike the Muggle variety it cannot be rubbed or washed off. It lasts about 24 hours before one must apply it again."

"It's for my scar, isn't it?" Harry felt strangely shaken at the idea of getting rid of his long standing burden.

"You are uncommonly observant today. Perhaps isolating you from those Gryffindors has had its benefits."

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. "_I hate him_," he whispered under his breath. Harry meant it, but there was no passion behind the words. He felt incredibly lifeless.

"You have something to say?"

Harry defiantly glared at him. "Yes, I was just saying 'I hate you.'"

"I would have to care about that for it to matter." Snape replied dryly. "Now, get to work."

Harry worked quietly from the list of instructions Snape had given him. The process was an emotionless and mechanical one.

One by one, he followed each step, abiding by them as closely as possible. He crumpled moth wings and smashed up the thistle. He stirred counterclockwise when it was requested and allowed it to simmer when it didn't. All the while, Snape's face was blank as his eyes followed Harry's every move.

For once, Harry didn't care.

All that time Snape had said only one thing - "You had better get this _one_ right. You will be making it often as I have no intention of wasting my time on such a basic potion, _weekly_."

When the mixture cooled Harry gave it one last stir. It turned into the thick lilac cream the instructions said it would. He was done.

Snape tested the cream between his fingers, eyeing it suspiciously. "Leave it to cool for five minutes longer, than bottle it. When you are done, take one bottle to your room. You are to use it the first thing every morning. Do not forget and make sure no one finds out.

"Your lesson is over for the day. Before I go, I will set some new books aside for you to read."

Snape was practically out the door when Harry asked, "Where are you going?"

"The headmaster's office, I have something to ask him."

* * *

Snape entered Dumbledore's office. The headmaster didn't look up and give Severus his typical greeting. There were no twinkling eyes and perceptive smile headed his way. Instead, Dumbledore's eyes darted across the stack of papers in front of him. His lips were fixed in a permanent scowl and worry lined his face. Dumbledore looked exhausted. There was no summer break for him this year. Headmaster duties were more demanding then ever before and there was the rise of the Dark Lord to contend with. For once, Snape did not envy the Headmaster.

Snape seated himself and waited. A tray of tea appeared next to him. Snape smirked. Even at his most preoccupied, Dumbledore made attempts at being a good host. He helped himself to a hot cup of the tea.

Finally, with a sigh, Dumbledore glanced up. "A headmaster's duties are never done." He fumbled with the papers on his desk in some attempt to organize the sizable pile. "There, that should do for now."

"Perhaps, you need a cup of this tea for yourself."

"Yes, I believe I do."

Snape poured a second cup and levitated it to the headmaster.

Dumbledore captured the teacup in his hands. "Thank you, my dear boy." He closed his eyes and took a sip. "Ah, refreshing. Now, how is that son of yours?"

Snape pursed his lips. "Rather moody at the moment."

"He has been since poor Cedric's death and I fear the loss of Sirius has only made things worse."

Snape shook his head. "Its more than that, today."

"Do you believe it is due to the removal of the spell?"

"I don't know. Possibly, but it is more likely the prospect of finding me as his father." Snape smirked. "That would depress me too."

Dumbledore sighed sadly. "You are far too hard upon yourself."

Snape's face fell and gazed down at the rim of teacup. "You've never been more correct though. The boy has changed."

Dumbledore leaned forward. "And?"

"For one, he seems more intuitive."

"Intuition was never Harry's strong point."

Snape laughed with astonishment. "You were _always_ too kind to the boy."

"Are you certain it's not just your bias against him that's changed?"

Snape gave a dismissive wave. "This I am sure of. I have never taught him in Defense, but in Potions I unfortunately have. I have seen his detestable skills a painful amount of times. He could barely follow simple directions, let alone look at ingredients and figure what they might be for. He neither had imagination or an eye for detail. It's why he always failed so miserably."

"So you are certain?"

"With him, it could have been just luck. I'm not saying the boy is suddenly skilled at the field, just better. There was a flicker of understanding in his eyes when he looked at those ingredients. I just know it."

"Why Severus, I have never seen you gush so." The twinkle was back in Dumbledore's eyes.

Snape frowned. "How did the council meeting go?"

"Oh, it went well enough. One side called me heartless while the other said I was weak willed and overly accommodating." Dumbledore beamed. "In the end, things ended up just as I had hoped."

Snape snickered, "As always. What master plan have you achieved now?"

"I'm very proud of this one. As of this fall, there will now be _three_ different 'schools' within Hogwarts' walls. There will be our normal classes, of course and the other Wizarding children will also have their own private classes and tutoring sessions as needed. _And, _I have added my very own special touch to the project. Muggle children will have their own classes as well."

Snape's eyes narrowed. "_What_ Muggle children?"

"A few weeks ago, I wrote letters to all those I felt endangered by Voldemort's return. It was a rather time consuming process as you might imagine. Wizards and Muggles alike were invited. I told them it was for their own safety and they were welcome to come if they saw fit to do so."

"And they are coming to you in droves, I assume?"

"Only nine children, at the moment, I fear, but there was no expiration on the invitation."

Snape arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "It was you who caused all of this?"

"There will come a time soon when refuge will be needed. I wanted to make it clear there would be a place whose doors were always open."

"Hopefully, not _too_ open; we wouldn't our enemies parading on through."

"Our enemies no, but I would never shut out those who have had a change of heart, Severus. I haven't in the past and it's a good thing for I would be missing one dear friend if I had."

Snape mocked distaste, but Dumbledore just chuckled.

"We will be careful," Dumbledore went on. "My eyes will be open to any threat that might enter our home."

"See that you do a better job then you did with Black. Will you?"

Dumbledore studied him a moment. "As much as I love your visits, Severus, what are you doing here? I didn't think you cared much about this case as long as it didn't require you to give extra lessons."

Snape decided with Dumbledore it was always best to be straight forward. He'd figure out the truth anyways. "I came to ask you for something."

"And what would that be?"

Snape closed his eyes and asked as calmly as he could, "The mirror, may I have it?"

Snape's eyes snapped at lingering silence.

Dumbledore's face was lined with grief. He shook his head and rasped "I don't think that would be wise, Severus."

"Leave it for _me_ to judge what is wise for myself or not."

"The mirror is not a toy-"

The blood drained from his face and his frame shook slightly. "Don't you think I know that!"

A thick tension filled the room, threatening its inhabitants.

"Its nature is addictive. What friend would I be if I simply gave it to you, knowing that?"

Snape sneered. "One who minds his own business? I _am_ an adult."

"That you are," Dumbledore said, warily. He seemed to consider the subject for a moment.

"I… I don't like this, Severus." He raised his hand to prevent Snape from interrupting. "Used sparingly, the mirror can bring great wisdom, but too often… I'll never forgive myself, Severus. I think it would be a mistake to keep dwelling in a world that you can never have. Lily is _gone_."

Fury burned in Snape's eyes. "Do you think there is _ever_ a moment I forget that?"

Dumbledore leaned forward forcefully. "Remember Harry. Don't forget about him."

Snape felt disgusted. "Will you give me the mirror or not?" he spat.

There was a pause. "For a price," the whisper came. Dumbledore was watching Snape's reaction carefully.

Snape gritted his teeth. His cheeks were burning. "What do you want from me now,_ my_ blood? It's all that… I have left."

"I will give you the mirror, but only, if you teach the new students."

Snape got up and angrily paced about the room. "By Merlin! Why do you always do this to me? Why?" Snape paced the room a few more times and then sighed with defeat. He sat back down. He ran his hand over his forehead. "_Fine_, I'll teach the brats," Snape conceded.

He looked up. Dumbledore wasn't smiling.

* * *

Dumbledore had given him the mirror on one other term. That the boy would never know it was within Snape's procession. It was hardly a difficult term to concede to, so Snape consented.

Coming home, he checked for the boy. He was in the library, reading._ Good._ The boy would not bother him for the moment.

Snape creeped off to his room and shut the door, then immediately went to lie down on his bed. Lips parted slightly in wonder, he gazed at the mirror. It was simply so… _alluring_. He ran his fingers over the cold metal backing, studying the intricate design. The bird carving looked fierce, but the glitter of the gemstones was hypnotizing.

He could see anything, _anything_ his heart desired. It didn't even have to be that same world, with Lily and the three children. It could just be Lily and him or Lily, him and a whole different family. There were so many possibilities. It all on what question he asked.

Tonight, all he wanted was that world with Lily and the three children. There was comfort in knowing he would not find anything overly shocking within its span. Besides, it had been that world that had drawn him back to the mirror. He craved to see it as an alcoholic craved its trade.

But where within that world? He was sure it was as vast as this one was.

Snape looked in the mirror. As if sensing the choice had been made, it was already misted over. He said the words anyway, "Show me the day that took place after my first vision. Show me the day after the Dark Lord fell and Lily and I were free."

Snape felt the familiar tug upon his body. With a thud he landed. To his surprise, he was in a place he had been only hours before. He was in Dumbledore's office. His young self and Lily were seated in the chairs, staring blankly at their surroundings. A small black haired boy wiggled within Lily's arms. She was paying him no mind. Dumbledore was nowhere in sight.

"He promised to help us, Severus."

Young Severus closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "He promised to help you and Julian. He wants nothing to do with me. To him, I am nothing but a Death Eater."

"Don't say that! You left. You repented. He has to see that." Lily bit her lip. Her expression was forlorn yet earnest.

"He knows I did it for you. That's not good enough for him."

"You do regret it though," Lily insisted.

Young Snape gazed to his side. "You know, I do."

Elder Snape's forehead furrowed with confusion. This was not the happy situation he had expected to see. There was no casting fear and isolation aside. There was no starting of a new life. The old one was still haunting them.

Suddenly, both young Snape and Lily looked up. Dumbledore had entered the room. He went straight for his desk and sat down. "I've keep you waiting." It was more a statement then an apology.

Lily edged forward on her seat. "How is Neville?" she anxiously inquired.

"He is with his grandmother. For the child's sake, she has agreed to take Neville far away until things calm down." The words were simple and emotionless. They were nothing like what Snape expected from Dumbledore.

Lily's eyes darted towards her lover and then back to Dumbledore again. "I know this is an inappropriate time to ask, but… has the divorce between me and James gone through? Severus and I would like to get married as soon a possible."

If it was possible, Dumbledore's demeanor grew frostier. "You will not need a divorce."

"Don't tell her what she can and cannot do!"

Dumbledore glared at Snape and then looked back to Lily. "You are a widow, Lily. Your husband died a few weeks back in a battle with Voldemort's followers. They were trying to find the location of you and the child."

Lily's eyes went wide with horror, "No!" Tears started flowing down her cheeks. She grasped the child to her chest and cuddled with him in a protective manner. "It is all my fault," she cried.

"You can't possibly take blame for this", the younger Snape insisted. His eyes grew dark with jealousy. "Potter always tried to be the hero. He was a reckless fool."

Lily began to cry harder. "Please Severus, don't."

The young man went to reach out for her, but then paused, letting the arm fall back to his side. "I'm sorry. I just can't help…" His eyes dropped with shame.

Lily sniffled to stop the crying. She gave a bitter smile to Dumbledore. "James didn't take the news well. He wouldn't have been so foolish if he thought Julian was his."

"James loved you, Lily." Dumbledore's voice finally softened with sympathy. "He gave his life for that love."

"James was always brave."

Upon hearing that, a shot of pain burst through the elder Snape's heart. He clenched his eyes shut and breathed slowly until his emotions turned to steel. Glancing coldly up, he saw his younger self hadn't managed the same feat. The boy was in agony.

"James feared the choices you were making, but understood that there was nothing he could do to stop them."

Fury met the hard critical eyes of the other.

Snape was stunned by this behavior. The two eyed one another with such anger and suspicion. It was clear there was no trust between them. His younger self was here for Lily and Lily alone and the headmaster only tolerated his presence for Lily's benefit as well. The last time Snape had seen that look in Dumbledore's eyes was… before he turned. He never watched to see it again.

"He was buried-"

"Enough!" His young self was shaking. "We don't want to hear anymore about Potter."

Lily's head snapped towards young Severus. "I have the right to know. He is my husband."

His younger self's face crumbled into devastation.

"Oh, Severus!" She reached out for him. He pulled away and stared at her accusingly. "Oh Severus, you know I love you. It's just…"

The child seeing that his parents were arguing started to cry. Lily hushed the child, looking worryingly out of the corner of her eyes at Severus. Tears still ran down her face.

Young Snape lowered his head down causing his hair to fall in front of his face like a curtain. His lips were pressed tightly together and his eyes were staring blankly ahead. Snape knew that expression well. _He_ was pushing the pain back inside.

"The marriage can be arranged within days. You still wish for it to be private?"

"Yes," Lily said softly. "Just Severus, Julian, and I; with you as our witness, if you will do it."

"It will be done."

"Thank you." Lily got up. She pulled at Severus' sleeve. "It's time to go."

He glanced up and stood as well. The couple faced one another for a moment, gazing into the other's eyes. The edge of pain was in one's and sympathy in the other. Young Snape dropped his eyes to the child. He ran a finger down the child cheek. Lily gave him a meek smile and went out the door. Her lover went to follow her.

"Severus."

The young man stopped in his tracks.

"You better live up to what she thinks you are."

The young man glared back once more and then shoved the door shut.

With a flash, Severus found himself back in his world. Grimacing, the mirror dropped from his hand. He curled up into a ball, gripping his arm in agonizing pain.

_Damn, it! How long had the mark been burning? _

Never, _never _had there been an escape from its call. Yet here, he found he had only just noticed.

Quickly, he jumped up from his bed. He gathered his cloak and mask and put them on. Merlin knew what he was walking into. They all could be gathered. They wouldn't be waiting. The Dark Lord was not a patient man. They would have started without him. He would be punished.

Snape threw his door open and began to stride down the hallway.

It was then he met something with a thud. Looking down, he saw Lily's green eyes gazing up at him. It was the boy, his son. The boy's mouth was agape. His eyes were wide with horror.

"I have to go," Snape asserted.

The boy nodded with understanding. Snape stepped over him and went on.

With one last look behind him, Severus went off to his former master.

**Once again thanks for reading. If you like (or even hate) this fic feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.**


	15. Meetings with the Dark Side

**Thanks: **panther73110, Spartan Eragon, Vintage 91, D, karilli, Yashida, fhippogriff, caty16, Jemma Blackewell, and cutie-tiger for reviewing. It makes me happy people are enjoying this story. Quite a few of you made comments that made me think about a little plot detail I knew would have to come up, but was unsure about how I'd do it.

**Betas: **Thanks again to my sister andSpartan Eragon for betaing this chapter. You both are making these a far better story with your edits.

* * *

Stumbling through the hazy darkness, Snape crossed the lawns of Hogwarts castle. It was the edge of dawn, the sun had yet to touch the horizon. Glancing up at Hogwarts' towers he saw a single light shinning into the night. It was a beacon leading him to the headmaster's office. Snape knew he would be there, waiting patiently as he always had done. The man had never let him down… at least as far as these matters were concerned. 

Snape dragged himself up the stairs to Dumbledore's office. Entering, he found the man, just where he left him, at his desk, but now the man's head was resting against it. He was sleeping. His mouth was slightly open; a line of drool coming from the corner of his mouth. Snape flinched and gazed away quickly. It was pathetic.

Averting his eyes, Snape walked to his customary chair and sat down. And with that movement, Dumbledore stirred.

"Severus?" He pulled himself up and looked at him with weary eyes. Dumbledore stared at him for one long moment and said, "You're rather worse for wear at the moment."

"I've seen better days… but so have you."

Over the last few months the headmaster had began to slowly fade away. The weaknesses were starting to peek through and the weariness was overtaking him. He was no longer the young man of legend, bold and defiant. The defeater of Grindelwald in a spectacular life-threatening duel. No, that was his son's place now, as Dumbledore's chapter was ending.

Not for the first time, Snape considered the man's urgent need to retire. But the fact remained that he was a Gryffindor. He would never turn his back when the armies were preparing and the battle was somewhere on the horizon. He would never retreat when he felt the world needed him and Severus knew, in the end, it would kill him.

_And the boy, one day too_, the voice in his head whispered. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, pleading with the voice to shut up. That was not something Snape wished to think about at the moment.

"Is something wrong, Severus? Do you need help?" Dumbledore's blue eyes were now clear. The vulnerability was gone, but Severus knew it was something he could never forget when it would shine through.

Snape held up his hand and grimaced. His stomach lurched. "No, I'm fine... I'm fine," he assured him.

The words rang out like an echo between them. Snape was lying. He was bruised and battered, his robes ripped and covered in his own blood. It was not… uncommon for him to be in such a state after facing Voldemort, but that was not what was bothering him. It was Dumbledore's words of concern. For the first time ever, they made him feel sick. Dumbledore was only worried about him because he was on _his _side, doing _his_ bidding. He knew that now. The Dumbledore of his vision cared nothing for him. In that world, he had lost nothing nor made great sacrifices to prove his loyalty.

Snape gritted his teeth and shook his head. _That matters little in this world, fool. In his eyes, you've proven yourself more then once. Stop fussing over nothing. _

Dumbledore eyebrows were knitted together. "Are you sure? Poppy is not here, but we can take you to someone else." He paused. "You seem no worse than usual."

"It has been a long night. That is all."

It was one of those nights he knew he'd never forget.

_Snape was indeed late to the meeting. A first for him, and a situation all the other Death Eaters avoided at any cost. It was the most horrendous feeling. He found himself __apparating__ into the circle of scheming Death Eaters. Their voices had gone quiet. All eyes fell upon him. Some were narrowed with annoyance while others had a look of pure bliss to them. _

_The Dark Lord glided forward. "You've finally seen fit to join us, Severus."_

_The Dark Lord's scarlet eyes were the most ecstatic of them all. His mouth twisted into a dark smile. He raised his wand in his showy, yet purposeful manner, and Snape had no doubts at what was about to happen when suddenly he crumbled to the floor. The __Cruciatus__ curse. It was the one pain that never dulled, always fresh, _always_ all consuming. _

"_Do you dare think there is anything more important than what we do here, Severus?"_

_Even if he could, Snape dared not answer. He dared not think. He had to keep his mind clear. Nothing could slip through._

_When his eyes weren't scrunched in pain, they flew wide- open, gazing blindly about them. Flashes of white masks whirled around him. The rushing sound of wind filled his ears. Blood filled his mouth. He was lost. He was in the tunnel and there was no end in sight. The world was spinning out of control. __He would die._

"_Harry Potter." The one name broke through the hush, spoken by some random Death Eater. His head snapped up. A sudden vision of a young boy with long black stringy hair and wide green eyes filled his mind. The boy was whipping his head around, looking back at him from over his shoulder. It was quick, only a flash and the image faded away._

_The pain had lasted a few seconds longer before it stopped and there was silence once more. Shaking, Snape pulled his broken form up out of the dirt. Somehow, he had managed to make it to his knees. Glancing through the strings of his black hair, Snape's glazed eyes stared at what was happening around him. The Dark Lord simply stood there, a sedated expression upon his face. _

"_I don't," the Dark Lord said, answering his earlier question. "So important is our task here today that I will delay your punishment until a more appropriate time. Rise." _

_Snape had been shocked at the Dark Lord's peculiar behavior, but he dared not argued. He raised himself to his feet and rushed to his place in the circle. He lowered his eyes as Voldemort began his speech. For once he'd not met the Dark Lord's eyes as he passed. _Play ashamed,_ Severus, he told himself. _Play ashamed.

_Did the Dark Lord see his vision? He did not know, but thankfully the boy was nowhere in sight. He did not know why the name had been said. He was sure he never would. He just hoped it didn't destroy the little that was left to his life, left to live for._

"Why were you called?" Dumbledore asked, rousing Severus out of his dark remembrances.

Momentarily dazed, Snape stared down at his lap and fingered a stain of blood that was caked onto his robes. "The Dark Lord is planning another party of sorts and he has invited all his caged friends."

"Of course, another breakout of Azkaban. We've expected one would take place soon. Do you know when it will happen?"

"No, but it will be soon. He mentioned giving freedom to the other in-mates there if they pledge loyalty to him. He said soon the Order would be hopelessly outnumbered and the Death Eaters could finally work unhindered."

Dumbledore rubbed his forehead and heaved a sigh. "Tom was always an optimist. I will warn the Ministry, but I doubt they will take it seriously."

"What about our own people? Can they do anything about it?"

"Yes… but our group is small and his is ever growing. We'd need to pull people away from guarding other areas. It'd be taking a great risk and these places would be left vulnerable until the breakout was attempted. Do you know what sort of force Voldemort will be using?"

"He is putting sizable resources into this plan, but not all of his people. As I said, he is planning a party. Something substantial is approaching. A select few are privy as to what, but unfortunately, I am not one of them."

Leaning back, Dumbledore steepled his fingers. A thoughtful appearance was in his eyes. "And you can not give any warning of the outbreak either. Even a few minutes notice could have helped."

Snape gave a bitter smile. "I'm not so sure of that."

"What do you mean?" Dumbledore asked anxiously.

"It seems I'm expected to take part."

Dumbledore shook his head slowly. A bleak jaded look came over his expression. "You do not mean that."

"I do."

Dumbledore's cheeks went uncharacteristically red. "And when were you expecting to tell me this!"

"When I got to it," Snape said coolly. For once the man was getting a taste of his own medicine. Information was being withheld from him. Snape hadn't knowingly done it, but the results were the same and the man wasn't pleased.

"Do you know what this means?" Dumbledore demanded.

Snape just glared at him.

"He has to know you're a spy. Why else would he do this? It makes no sense. Why risk revealing his spy's loyalties? I never would."

Snape sneered at the last statement; a pawn in Dumbledore's grand chess match as always. Fury entered Snape's mind. "Since when has the Dark Lord been in his right fucking mind? Besides," he spat, "I don't expect there will be many people strolling down 'Azkaban Lane' when this happens."

"This is serious."

"This is serious?" he mocked, his dark eyes glittering with warning. He of all people knew how serious this was. "This is serious? _This_ was serious two years ago when _you_ sent me back to him! I did not want to go. It was _you_ who sent me. I've done my duty no matter how revolting it has been at times. I will _not_ let that all be in vain."

Dumbledore appeared devastated. "He knows, Severus. It has gone too far."

"There was always a risk. We don't know what goes through the Dark Lord's mind. I for one never wish to know, but I do know one thing. I know that I would be rotting away in some ditch right now, if he even had the slightest clue I might be a spy."

Dumbledore's voice was pleading, "Two times, in the last day alone, I have found myself yelling at you. This time I beg you, Severus. Please, don't do this."

"_I_, more brave then a Gryffindor? You better be careful, you might lose your membership."

Snape pursed his lips and glared. He was standing firm. He had worked _too_ hard for this and he would run _only_ when he saw the solid proof that the Dark Lord knew.

"There is still much you can do, Severus, even as a known loyal member of the Order. It's time for you to stand openly by my side. Stand openly by Harry's side. Teach him. Guide him down the path fate has thrown upon him."

"Oh yes, I can be a teacher. The great downfall of the Dark Lord will be my teaching skills."

There was great sympathy in Dumbledore's eyes. "A father, Severus. Don't underestimate the love of a parent. Look at the power of Lily's love. It was her act of love alone that stopped Voldemort."

"I don't love the boy. I barely like him and I'm certainly not going to throw myself in front of a curse for him."

There was a strange gleam in Dumbledore eyes, Snape particularly didn't like or understand it.

"What is it?" he inquired uneasily, his forehead furrowed.

Dumbledore smiled softly before calmly saying, "There is also giving others hope. They can see there are other paths they can take. They can see that it is never too late to turn back."

Snape raised his eyebrow. The headmaster was simply trying too hard.

"I've made up my mind. It will be worth the risk. Besides if it is not, at least I'll get to be there to greet Lucius when he saunters out of his cell like some ransomed king."

He smiled fondly at the thought. Dumbledore frowned back.

Snape sighed. "If the Dark Lord does know, why let me live? It can't just be him wanting the Order to know this information."

"You know that is my greatest worry, that he knows and is only using you to pass certain information to us."

"I've been careful." There was only the one slip and Snape would never let Dumbledore know about that. He doubted that the Dark Lord would even understand the vision, even if he saw it.

"I know, but we must keep that possibility in mind. If he does know, I think Voldemort is hedging his bets. I do think this might be a small amount of information he would be willing to sacrifice to our side. He would win either way. If we pull our people and place them near Azkaban he will _know_ there is a spy amongst his own… and most likely you. If we don't, his followers walk free."

"We will see. I'm more worried about what he is planning after the breakout. It must be important to keep it so quiet."

"We will face the unknown when it comes. In the mean time we must call a meeting of the Order. There are many decisions to be made. Now get some sleep. Morning has already arrived."

Snape looked over to the window. The sun had indeed begun to peek over the horizon. He got up and went to the door, but looking back, he saw the Headmaster lost in contemplation, muttering to himself. He sighed and wished the man would take his own advice.

* * *

Harry was in the library, slung sideways across the armchair by the fire. He was rather comfortable at the moment and reading one of the books Snape have given to him. He had already finished Famous Duels the day before, but was now skimming over his favorite passages again. Still, the tales didn't hold his attention the way they had the previous day. 

It was now mid afternoon and after last nights calling, there had obviously been no lessons for that day. As far as Harry knew Snape was still sleeping.

Harry wondered how often this happened and what exactly did Snape do when Voldemort called him to his side. Did he ever hurt people? Did he ever do worse? If so, it wasn't a pleasant thought. For the first time, Harry wondered how much blood was on his father's hands. 

While Harry had known Snape bore the Dark Mark, he had never before seen him in his Death Eaters' grab and the sight had given him much to contemplate. This was his 'dad' after all. Just thinking of someone who was supposedly his father, "hanging" out in Voldemort's circle and playing Death Eater was odd to him. Spy or not, it didn't change the fact he was what he once was.

As if Snape Manner couldn't bare a negative thought about its owner a distant thud reverberated around the room. Harry stilled at the sound. He was pretty sure it was someone knocking on the front door, but was even more certain that Snape would kill him if he answered it. Harry listened for a few moments longer. The sound came again. In the distance, he heard the fall of Snape's footsteps moving across the hall. Harry could hear a slight murmur of the man mumbling darkly to himself.

Suddenly, Harry heard the front door open with a creak.

"Narcissa… how nice it is to see you again." Harry could practically see a feigned smile plastered upon the man's face.

"Severus," she returned in her own light manner.

_This wasn't good. _

Harry's heart pounded as several sets of footsteps began echoing throughout the hall.

Harry scrunched his eyes._ Oh Merlin, there was more then one person here! Would they find him? What should he do? _

Hearing the footsteps draw closer, Harry's hand instinctively flew up to his forehead. Recollecting himself, he sighed. It was a really good thing he had remembered to cover his scar that morning.

"I assume all is well with you both?" the conversation continued.

Narcissa sighed. Harry could particularly see her shake her blonde head in a slow, dramatic fashion. "Given our current misfortune, we are as well as I could hope for us to be and you, Severus?"

"Well enough. Now, Draco-"

"But," the lady interrupted, "it is those misfortunes that bring me here today. Is there anywhere we can sit and talk… _alone, _if possible."

Harry gagged at the suggestive tone in the woman's voice.

"Of course… come this way."

Harry heard the footsteps proceed and then suddenly come to a halt.

"No, Draco, you stay here. I'll be done here in a few moments and then we can be on our way."

"Yes, Mother," came the obedient voice.

Harry rolled his eyes. So that's who it was, Draco Malfoy. He should have known it would be him hanging onto his mother's skirt or robes as the case may be.

Harry exhaled and attempted to relax and focus on the book again. He was stuck here for an unknown period of time, so he might as well make good use of his time.

But he couldn't do it. The silence irritated him more then the noise had. Draco Malfoy was out there and he didn't like it.

It was only a few minutes later when the disturbing silence broken. Hearing the library door open, Harry glanced up, finding a set of cold blue eyes staring at him from the doorway. As much as he didn't want Draco out there, he wanted him in here even less.

"Who are you?" Draco inched forward, curiosity written all over his features.

Harry swung his legs around to sit normally in the chair. Lips pursed, he studied the boy cautiously. "Julian… Julian Snape," he finally said. The name felt strange on his tongue.

"A Snape?" Draco tilted his head. "Is Professor Snape your uncle or something?"

"He's my father." Harry plainly stated.

"Father?"

Harry snickered at his shock.

"I take it you have one too?"

"Of course." Draco's eyes narrowed then gazed away. While Harry got pleasure out of the thought of Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban, Harry supposed Draco didn't.

"My father doesn't like anyone coming in here," Harry added blandly, hoping Draco would get the hint and leave.

"_Your_ father is busy talking to _my_ mother," Draco said with an obnoxious quality that only he could manage. He took a few steps forward and leaned against Harry's chair in a smug, 'am the king of the world' manner. "Besides, he would not mind me being in here."

Harry frowned and tried to focus on his book again, just hoping Malfoy would get bored and leave. Unfortunately, he didn't. Instead, he sat in the chair opposite Harry.

"So," the boy drew out, "Severus Snape has a son. Fancy that." It wasn't a question, it was a statement and Draco's tone and expression indicated he wanted to know all about it.

"As I said."

Draco just gawked apprehensively until Harry sighed.

"What do you want to know?"

Draco smiled and lifted his eyes up in a "where do I start' expression. "Oh… let's see, do you have a _mother_?"

"What do you think?" Harry said rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just had a hard time seeing Professor Snape in the act of producing children."

"You and me both," Harry grimaced.

"So where is your mother?"

"Dead."

"Ah, sorry." For the second time in his life Harry was sure Draco was anything but. "Is that why you're here?"

"You could say that."

Draco frowned. "You don't like to talk do you?"

"Clearly." Harry sighed and then a moment later added, "Why should I tell you anything about me? I don't even know who you are."

"How silly of me." Draco got up and held out his hand. "Draco Malfoy."

Harry looked at the offered hand. He didn't want to shake it, but as the smile on Malfoy's arrogant face started to fade, Harry grabbed it. "Julian Snape, as I said."

"So what school did you go to, Durmstrang? I had wanted to go there, but my mother wouldn't let me." Remembering himself he added, "Not that it's all bad at Hogwarts. Your father is a great teacher after all."

"I'm sure," Harry muttered. "My mother wouldn't let me go to school. I was taught at home."

"No schools at all?" Draco said with awe. "And I thought my mother was overprotective."

"Draco!"

Harry saw Malfoy flinch. Looking over, Harry saw Narcissa Malfoy standing at the door with a pissed off Snape hovering behind her.

"I thought I told you to stay in the hall."

Draco's upper lip rose in a sneer before a small smile began to crack on his face. "Mother, have you met Professor Snape's son?"

"Son?" She questioned, turning her eye to the man behind her. "What's this?"

"Yes," Snape said coolly. "Forgive me for not introducing you to him before now. This here is my son, Julian." Harry just stared blankly at this woman until Snape started to glare at him. Harry gave a half-hearted wave of the hand that came off far more like a salute.

"He is just as friendly as his father, don't you think?" Draco asked his mother with fiendish grin.

"The resemblance is remarkable, I must say." This was said with a sincere smile and a half laugh. Narcissa turned to Snape with fondness in her eyes. "Why, it is like seeing you at fifteen all over again, Severus."

Harry realized they had taken his behavior as a family trait and not extreme dislike. The woman was simply charmed. How disgusting.

"You must bring your son over next time you call and tell us all about him."

It wasn't so much a request as a demand. There was tension between the two Harry didn't quite understand, but this woman was demanding answers in her own subtle way.

"I'll do that."

"Lovely, how about this Friday?"

Snape gave a slight bow of his head. "We'd be honored."

Harry tried to hide his repulsion.

"Good, good." She smiled again. "Perhaps our sons shall become friends" She eyed Harry one last time before saying, "Come Draco."

The boy jumped up and went to his mother.

Both heads turned and nodded towards him as if it were perfectly choreographed.

"Goodbye Julian."

Narcissa and Snape exited out into the hallway. Draco gave Harry his own short wave and disappeared into the hall as well. It was only a few moments after hearing the door shut that Snape came striding over to Harry and hovered over him with a glare.

"Well, what did you tell him?"

"Nothing much," Harry replied at the mass of black above him. "That you are my father, my mother's dead and I was tutored at home. All the stuff we've practiced."

Snape pointed his finger menacingly at Harry. "Cheek, attitude, _never _again, you understand?"

"You're asking me to be nice to the Malfoy's?" Harry asked non-believingly.

"I suppose you can't figure out _why_?"

Harry shrugged. "Because… you're a… manipulative spy?"

"Yes, very good. Now be nice to the quarry next time, won't you?"

"They ate up the moody act anyway."

"Act?" Snape jeered. He sighed and sat down, hunched over with concentration in the chair "I knew introductions would have to be made, but not like this. At least it was the Malfoy's, they are rather harmless."

Harry quirked an eyebrow, "Harmless?"

"Would you rather have had Bellatrix Lestrange asking the questions?"

Suddenly, Harry dug his nails into his palms. "I would have killed her if she stepped foot in here."

"I'm sure you think you would." Snape mumbled to himself, glancing away.

Harry glared. "And what's with the formal 'how do you do's' and shit?"

Snape leaned back with a smirk. "The Malfoy's enjoy their formalities."

"And you enjoy doing what the Malfoy's want?" Harry scoffed.

"As long as it's on my terms, I prefer keeping the Malfoy family friendly."

"A bit too friendly, if _wifey_ is any indicator."

Snape paled. "_That_ is none of your business."

"Who my father dates _is_ somewhat my business."

The air went dead. Once the words were said, Harry couldn't believe they had come from his mouth. All the same, he just couldn't help but burst out laughing at Snape bewildered expression. This lightened the atmosphere immediately.

"Narcissa Malfoy… well am I right?"

Snape paused, "No."

"No?" Harry teased.

"No," he said firmly this time and gave a look that indicated he better not ask again.

"Still have eyes only for mom?"

Snape slowly closed his eyes as if he had a headache. "I can't believe we are discussing this."

A sad feeling crept into Harry's heart as he realized he was right. 'Daddy' still loved 'Mommy', but 'Mommy' was long gone and incredibly dead.

A second passed before Snape softly asked, "Did you like the book?"

Harry blinked._ Book, what book?_

Harry glanced down at his lap where the long forgotten about book, Famous Duels was sitting. "Err… yeah. It's a pretty cool book."

Snape had been wrong when he said Harry might find the book interesting. It was_ far_ more then interesting. These stories were exhilarating. Even though the book heavily contained historic facts and minor details, history had never been so exciting in class. There were always battles to the death, people in impossible situations and in the end always finding that _one_ way to escape or save the day; and as Ron would say: These wizards were bloody brilliant. It had never felt like that for Harry. For him it had always been luck. He wondered if people would analyze about his battles with Voldemort like that one day.

To Harry's surprise he blurted, "Do you think people will tell stories about me like that someday?"

"They already do."

"No, you know what I mean, like a legend and all that."

"Not if you're not nice to the Malfoy's they won't."

Harry smiled as Snape sat beside him, discussing the finer points of the duels and debating on their strengths and weaknesses. It seemed Snape was even more fond of the tales then his son.

But Harry made sure to point out that nowhere in the stories, were the heroes 'nice' to the villain's sidekicks.

**End of Chapter 15. **

**Once again thanks for reading! I'm going to try my best to keep updates coming every two weeks or so. With the upcoming holidays this is the toughest time of year for me to work on my writing. I will leave comments on how the chapters are coming along in my profile every so often if anyone wishes to know. **


	16. Hard Realities

Yicks, once again sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out. Even with the Holidays and two jobs, I really didn't think it would take this long. I admit I didn't count on my BBC Robin Hood obsession getting any worse then it already was. Sorry. My inner fan girl took over.

Also this chapter was a bitch to write, which was funny since I along with the last chapter I wrote the rough draft for it two years ago. That fact made the writing of the last chapter easy, while this chapter was really hard for some reason.

Thanks for the kind reviews: Zerocrash; Silvain Star; fhippogriff; loveserverussnape; Karilii; cutie-tiger; munchnzoey; Mad Eyes Arme; t wrecks; Erinamation-limited2-nothing; Angelinvestigationsfan; puella; Jemma Blackwell; WrenBlack; Otspock; chalicity

**WrenBack** & **chalicity**- Thanks to you both for pointing out the spelling mistakes. I do try to go back and fix them when people point them out. To **WrenBlack**- Yes, Harry is a bit off. It is part of his changes as you pointed out. To **Chalicity- **Lily did indeed do a very bad thing to Harry in this story. She was under a ton of stress and in my story thought it was better then the alternative of him becoming an outcast while the 'cause' against Voldemort was also hurt by her actions.

* * *

The next day Harry woke up early and sleepily padded into the kitchen for breakfast. There was a simple meal of cereal, eggs and juice was already sitting on table just waiting for him. A smile erupted onto his face at the inviting sight. Now _this_ was pleasant. Silently, but happily Harry sat down across from Snape, who was engrossed in his morning paper. Without comment, Harry dug into the warm food. It was plain and simple, but after days of leftovers tasted as good as the opening feast at Hogwarts.

"This is better than cake and cold chicken, I assume?" Snape asked, folding his paper and putting it down.

"Much," Harry mumbled through a mouthful of egg.

Snape gave a look of distaste at Harry's manners, but dryly added, "I am glad."

Much to Harry's surprise, Snape didn't pick his newspaper back up and ignore him like in the past. Instead, the man sat back in his chair and sipped his tea contently. The mood in the room became relaxed, even serene, but Harry couldn't help but notice Snape's eyes frequently falling on him as if there was something he wanted to say.

If there _was_ something on Snape's mind, he stayed quiet on the subject. It wasn't until both had completed the meal that Snape leaned forward and ventured a few words.

"I'm afraid the next few days will be busy ones. I had assumed we'd have a little longer to perfect the details of you being my son. I now see I was mistaken and that now we have only a few pitiful days."

Harry's stomach dropped, his good mood rapidly fading as he recalled their invite to the Malfoy's this up coming Friday. "Can't we say I'm sick?" Harry suggested in a half kidding manner.

"Such bravery. No wonder you Gryffindors have managed to create such a heroic image."

Harry gazed at his father with annoyance, but Snape went on, "We have a plethora of unpleasant things to do, such as getting you suitable dress robes and working on your conduct, but you _will_ be going, no excuses."

"What if I refuse?" Harry fumed. If there was anything he couldn't stand, it was being told what to do. Even being Snape's kid didn't change that about him.

Snape dramatically closed his eyes and sighed. "Stop being such a child. You always say you wish to help the Order. While that is out of the question, the least you can do is _not_ undermine it."

"HOW-"

"'How,' is that as a spy, I have an image to uphold and having _my _son make his dislike of the enemy known is dangerous. Jokes and silly stories put aside, we discussed this yesterday and I _thought_ you understood."

With his body shaking and his arms wrapped tightly across his chest, Harry jerked his head in agreement. He did understand, but he still didn't like it.

Snape's voice continued smooth and even, "Don't assume for a minute I wish this upon you or myself, but we both must be practical with this. What is done, can not be changed and you _will_ doas you are told."

Harry shot up out of his chair and gave Snape a seething glare from across the table. For a moment, Snape's dark eyes had a flash of wonder to them before becoming empty and cold. Harry took it as a warning to stop while he was ahead.

Harry exhaled deeply and shaking, fell back into his chair. He knew, by all rights, he should be screaming. He knew just a few days before he would have put up a real fight, one that would have made Snape hate him even more, but now, somehow, he found he couldn't. The anger was there and the resentment, and oh god, how he wanted to strike out… but he couldn't. Harry felt the fire he had once possessed in abundance was gone.

_Think for once, _his mind demanded. _You're making a scene even though_ y_ou know he's right. What the hell is wrong with you? _

Suddenly, Harry's stomach turned at the thought.

"What's _wrong_ with me?" Harry whispered, rocked by a startling realization. His behavior over the past fewdays flashed through his mind, each act, each moment leading up to this single instant. It wasn't what he had just done that shook him to his core. This fight and all his unspeakable anger were suddenly so meaningless. It had instantly vanished in a moment of horrible clarity. Sitting there, he all of a sudden knew it was what he _hadn't_ done that would forever haunt him. Harry, with all his past rashness and his Gryffindor spirit was considering logic and consequences. He'd be amused if it weren't so frightening, but now he knew something was just wrong.

Glancing up, Harry saw a weary gaze in Snape's eyes.

A bitter laugh escaped him. "I don't even know who I am anymore," he choked out.

Dumbledore had been right. There were no more 'maybe's' or 'your guesses are as good as mine'. It had happened. He had changed, subtly, but surely and in a way he hadn't seen coming.

Snape at a loss of words, took a few moments gathering his thoughts before slowly saying, "You have to trust me that you'll get through this… we _both_ must trust one another to get through this." Once the words left his mouth, it was Snape's turn to look shocked. It was clear their meaning was sinking in.

Snape gave a nervous laugh, before he grimaced in disgust."How appalling, I hate when that man gets things right. The headmaster had said this would happen and of course it did."

This won Snape a weak smile from Harry. "Don't worry, I still hate you."

The words hadn't been vicious.

Snape too, smirked slightly, his eyes narrowed inquisitively. "You're going to hate me even more when you find out my other news."

"Nothing can be worse than what just happened."

"After your lessons, we're going to Grimmauld Place for the day."

Harry froze, jaw gapping. If possible his already depressed heart sunk even further into his chest. They had been dull plain words and Snape had said them with almost a light ease, but they managed to fill Harry with a sense of panic at the possibility.

"But… I can't." Harry's eyes shifted about the room as if searching for any exit. This after everything else was just too much.

"Of course you can."

"_No_, I can't," Harry insisted, his hand roughly and swiftly yanking at his hair( then gesturing at his face.

Snape gave him a piercing look. "They won't know it is you… You're Julian Snape, _not_ Harry Potter, remember that. And you will under no circumstances tell them. Not even a hint of who you are. Understand?"

"Yes, but-"

"There-"

"NO! This is different. The party I can kind of understand. Even _though_ it puts me in danger, I _get_ it, but not this."

Snape shot up out of his chair and leaning forward, hovered over Harry. "I would _never_ put you in danger, not like that."

Harry wondered how true thatwas.

"There will be a meeting of the Order," Snape rapidly went on, his normally pale face scarlet red. "Keep to yourself if you wish or go see your friends, but I just warn you, they will not be so friendly to you now you're no longer The Boy Who Lived."

"You barely know them! They're not like that!"

"Perhaps not," Snape said, his voice now smooth as velvet, but all the more dangerous for it, "ButI do know you're my son and that they will know it too."

"They're not-" The words died in his mouth. _They're not like you. _He wanted to say it, but he couldn't. He just wasn't so sure.He tried to convince himself that unlike Snape they wouldn't blame the sins of the father upon the son, but once again there was that lurking fear of its falsehood. His head collapsed into his hands with despair.

_Ron… _

How is it that he had not realizedthis before? He had considered what Sirius would have thought and even James, but his mind had never ventured to the living. Harry felt a chill run through his body at the thought of how Ron would react. He had a haunting suspicion that Ron wouldn't treat a son of Snape well.

_And what about Hermione?_ Hermione… For the first time in this conversation Harry felt a wave of happiness.

"Hermione wouldn't treat me poorly. She's better than that."

Snape laughed. "It's not about being better or worse or any other category you might come up with. It just is what it is. _Accept_ _it_."

Gryffindor versus Slytherin. As Julian, he had never been sorted, but that didn't matter. He was guilty by association.

"You don't know them." His voice cracked with anguish. "I _do_. They are not like that." It was like a knife stabbing through his chest and ever so slowly turning as he realized the truth… he was lying.

Snape studied him a moment. There was a flicker of pain that crossed his face before it went blank again. "Do you think you know yourself… or at least your former self?" he asked calmly.

"Um… of course. I guess."

"And do you think that if this hadn't happened and you were in their place you'd extend the hand of friendship to a son of mine?"

Harry bit his lip and gazed away guiltily.

Snape's tone darkened, "I suggest you keep to yourself."

"I don't see why I have to go," Harry whined.

"Call it practice for Friday. Besides, you're going to have to face these people some time. It will be easier if you do so now rather then on September first and if that is not convincing enough for you, Dumbledore wishes to speak to you."

"About what?"

"I haven't the faintest clue, now go get ready for your lessons. We will be reviewing all you've read so far."

* * *

Though it was summer and mid afternoon by the time they reached Grimmauld Place, the day was already dark. Heavy clouds loomed low in the sky, threatening to moisten anyone who dared stay outdoors too long, but that is exactly where Harry wanted to stay. At the moment, Grimmauld Place never looked grimmer. Harry looked despairingly at the drab abode, but reluctantly joined Snape on its worn steps.

As he did, his father turned to him and whispered, "What I said before… I might be wrong, but if I'm not…" He slowly shook his head leaving whatever thoughts he had unfinished. Throwing open the door, Snape and Harry entered what was once Sirius' former domain.

Walking down the hall, Harry could hear many familiar voices in the distance. The twins were laughing, Ginny was squealing with delight and Molly was sighing loudly in exasperation. It was all what he once would have called home, yet this time it filled him with a sense of dread.

Even Snape seemed reluctant to go on for a moment. Harry began to wonder if they would turn back when suddenly Molly appeared in the hall. At first she did not notice them. She was busy muttering to herself and being annoyed over something the twins did when Snape gave a soft cough to indicate their presence. Molly gave a start and quickly looked their way. She now appeared flustered. She turned her head this way and that as if she were unsure what to do.

"Oh! Oh, Har-"

"MRS. Weasley." Snape said nodding towards the kitchen door she had just comeout of. He took a few strides forward and hissed in her ear, "This is _not_ the time to mess up."

"Yes, sorry," she concurred, still unsettled. "I didn't expect either of you to be here today."

"I am here for the meeting, clearly and _Julian _is here to stay out of trouble and speak to the Headmaster when he arrives."

"He isn't here yet. We are all having a late lunch in the kitchen if you'd like to join us." Though she was speaking to Snape, her eyes were focused on Harry.

"I am not the sociable sort."

"Err, neither am I," Harry tried.

She titled her head and frowned. "Harry-"

"For god's sake woman!" Snape yelled, appearing like he was going to implode at any moment. "Get away from us if you can't keep your mouth shut."

Molly's eyes dropped and her face flushed red. She appeared crushed, but she didn't have time to apologize. Out of nowhere, two identical red heads popped into the hall. "What's with all the noise?" the twins asked, wide eyed at the racket.

"Nothing you two, Professor Snape is here, that's all," Molly assured them, gesturing for them to go back into the kitchen.

Harry saw them give an eye roll before disappearing again. He was sure neither had noticed him. He didn't know whether to be glad or disappointed at that fact.

"Enough standing about," Molly said, trying to brighten her voice. "Why don't we three go and head in there."

"You both can go on. I'll be in the basement waiting for the meeting."

Molly huffed, "You just can't let him go in there by himself. Your son needs you."

"You surely can't believe my presence would make anything easier for the boy, can you?"

"It is not just Ron and Hermione in there," she insisted. "It's half the Order. They'll have questions. You may think me a fool, but in this I'm right."

Harry realized that Molly was anything but a fool, at least when it came to this. He couldn't face going in there alone. Moreover, he couldn't face the idea of certain rejection, but somehow with Snape by his side, he knew he would manage. It wouldn't be nearly as bad. No matter what, it would be painful, but if Snape went in, he knew they wouldn'tsay anything _too _bad to him… at least to his face. They'd be too scared of mean old nasty Snape to say anything overly harsh.And that at the moment was all that mattered.

"Actually, can you?" Harry said, looking pleadingly up at his father.

Snape's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, but he relented, "Very well. I'll stay for the introduction at the very least."

"Come on," Molly whispered reassuringly, grabbing Harry's arm. "Let's reintroduce you to your friends."

When the door swung open Harry saw a sizable crowd inside. Most of the faces were familiar, but there were also a few that he couldn't ever recall seeing. The people he didn't know glanced at him quickly before dully looking away. They didn't care who or what he was. For a moment his heart felt light and free, it was overwhelming and wonderful, but then… he saw the others. It was the people he knew and loved, who he had to worry about. Some were gawking at him with an appearance of question while the others appeared to know who he was and were already full of hate.

Harry paled as he saw Ron was one of the latter.

Dragging his arm away from Molly, he took a step back. Like a child, Harry hovered behind Snape's billowing black robes trying to hide or at the very least trying not to see those staring faces. Hanging his head and looking towards the kitchen floor, Harry felt keen shame. It was as though they all knew his deepest and darkest of secrets. The vulnerability of this moment was more than he could take. He was ashamed of everything, who he was and how he was acting, but he just couldn't help himself. He gritted his teeth and hid behind the black stringy hair that just fell over his eyes. He now understood the simple comfort in that.

"Well, who's this?" McGonagall asked, breaking the silence.

"My son," Snape said, grabbing Harry roughly by the shoulder and presenting him to the room.

Harry glared at Snape with annoyance at the gesture.

"Oh, I see." Her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them as if to see if this was some kind of joke. "I… I admit, Severus, I hadn't a clue you even had a son."

The rest of the room was now very indiscreetly whispering to one another, making Harry feel even worse. His shame was now turning to rage as the moment dragged on. People had once staredat him for being the Boy Who Lived and now they dared do the same because he was the son of the hated Professor Snape, whose loyalties were always in question. As always, Harry seemed not to have the luck of the draw.

"Come Julian, sit down." Molly pushed out a chair for him and Harry reluctantly sat down without a word. "Here," she offered, placing a sandwich in front of him. "As I said, we have just finished lunch, but there is some left."

"I'm not hungry, Mrs. Weasley. Thank you." Harry's eyes were looking intently at his plate, still not daring to glance up.

"You knew about him, Mom?" Ron exclaimed.

Harry closed his eyes as he felt his temper flair.

"Why, yes, dear," she said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us then?"

"I didn't think it would matter to you one way or the other, but now that you know one another, maybe you can be friends." The words were stained. Even Molly couldn't hide the doubt she was feeling.

Ron scoffed, but it hadn't been him alone. Snickering, Fred and George made the hilarity at such a premise be known. "That's likely," they both laughed.

As for the rest, they were quiet. Gazing up slightly through his hair, Harry saw even Ginny and Hermione were looking doubtfully at him. This above all was the most disappointing to him.

"Well, I for one would like to get to know Julian," Lupin said with an uneasy smile from across the table. "I'm Remus," he said extending his hand, which Harry timidly shook. "I went to Hogwarts with your father."

"Hi," Harry replied in a lackluster tone. _Leave it to Remus to play peacemaker, _his mind mocked.

"You know, you look just like him when we were young, except…" Lupin trailed off as his smile faded, but he continued staring at Harry. After a few moments the smile returned and he went on, "And a few years past, I worked with your father as well… at Hogwarts of course."

"Did you?" Harry asked, trying his best to sound eager.

"Yes! And I'm finally returning to teach this year." No matter how worn down life had made him, clearly the very thought of teaching brought a shining excitement to the man's face.

"That's great." Harry said, finally cracking a genuine smile at seeing the man's immense joy.

"What about you? How is it that I have never been your teacher? You didn't go to Hogwarts, so where do you go?"

Harry went on to tell the made up tale of his home and tutored education yet again, but this time was different. Remus was making him feel like nothing had changed. He was comfortable. This time he added, "But since my mother is dead, I'm going to Hogwarts this fall."

This admission was greeted with a few groans and some curious expressions. Harry did his best to ignore them. Instead he focused on Remus' sincere smile.

"So I _will_ be your teacher. I'm delighted."

"As am I," McGonagall added briskly.

"I'm not joining the classes," Harry babbled on. "I'm going to be one of those… refugee students I guess you can call us."

"Whatever you all call yourselvesyou will be welcome enough at Hogwarts. Don't you agree, Professor Lupin?"

"Yes," he answered before turning back to Harry. "And I had figured as much. So… are you as talented in Potions as your father?"

Harry laughed, "Na, I'm rather bad at them actually."

This brought a few snickers from some in the room. Harry glanced up disdainfully, daring them to say any more. They didn't, but their gloating demeanor didn't go away either. Harry knew some of these people would never give him a chance.

"Your potions are not that poor, Julian." Snape interjected for the first time. Harry supposed family pride was on the line.

Harry shrugged and smirked at the fact after all this time he'd hear Snape say that and in public of all places. "They are not that good either."

"I suppose between the two of you, you both have a higher standard of the art than most," Lupin lightly added as if this was all a jest.

"I'd hope so." Snape replied dryly.

"I've never been very good at Potions myself," he told Harry. "So if not potions, where do your talents lay then?"

"Defense, I guess."

"Really? Hmmm."

"Well, it's what I like the most and I do really well in it."

"It just happens to be the subject I teach."

"That's-" _Great_ he meant to say, but the word died in his mouth. It seemed someone else had something to say on the topic.

"A _very_ lucky fact for me, I must say," the voice came. All eyes now went to the kitchen's entrance. There, Dumbledore was standing with his trademark twinkle and a pleased expression on his face. "Given the never too long filled vacancy in the subject, I don't know what we'd do without Remus."

Remus smiled, but Harry couldn't help but notice that unlike Dumbledore it didn't reach the man's eyes.

"And I assure you, Remus, that Julian will be the most enthusiastic of students. He does have a natural knack in that area and the two of you seem to be getting along splendidly. But for the current, I'll have to stop your bonding." His eyes went to Harry. "Julian, I believe we have an appointment concerning your future at Hogwarts."

Before he could answer, Snape quickly got up and left the room. Any reason for the man to be there clearly vanished with Dumbledore's appearance.

"Err, yeah." Harry finally said, realizing this was the meeting Snape had earlier mentioned. He got up quickly and followed Dumbledore through the door, never for a second looking back as those he was leaving behind.

As he shut the door behind him, Harry heard an explosion of sound from the other side of the door. It was all about him, he was sure, but he just followed Dumbledore down the hall and into the drawing room as though nothing was happening. They'd all find time to talk about him sometime, whether it was now or later. He was just relieved to be out of their presence.

Sitting down on the Black's ancient decaying furniture, Harry realized that this room had had once been meant for the 'good' guests of the house. Everything about it screamed, 'We spent a lot of money and time on this place. You're impressed, of course, because who could not be? We're the Blacks.' Even Molly'spurge and cleaning job, couldn't stop this feeling from permeating the room. Harry assumed in its time, it was supposed to be the height of taste, but to him, it just seemed showy and that was saying something. For him to call anything 'showy' when he was sitting in a room with Dumbledore of all people, was quite a feat.

And speaking of Dumbledore, he was currently studying him. Uncomfortable, Harry glanced down and twisted his arms between his legs, waiting for the man to speak his piece.

"It won't be easy for you and I'm sorry for that. If it makes you feel better, I believe, they too will one day be sorry when they learn the truth. This is only a small taste of what you will face, but I do think after today the worst of it is over."

Optimistic Dumbledore; he never failed to show up in the toughest of situations.

"You had something to speak to me about, sir?"

Dumbledore tilted his head as though this was completely new to him.

"About the future?" Harry added tentatively, trying to be helpful.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Not today. That was mostly an excuse to get you away from the others." Dumbledore leaned forward, now serious again. "I must apologize to you for something else. I had promised to stop by your new home to see you and I failed to do so."

Harry just shrugged. What difference did it really make if the headmaster stopped by or not?

"Everything has been fine, I assume?" He eyed Harry over his half moon shaped glasses.

"It's great. I've been invited to a party," Harry joked cheekily with a twisted smile.

Dumbledore's expression darkened. "Yes, your father had mentioned that."

"You don't like that I'm going?" Harry guessed. When Dumbledore didn't confirm or deny the fact, he added, "Why?"

"Because I…" Dumbledore glanced away and sighed. "I admit I'm fighting with myself whether I should say anything to you on this subject."

Harry clenched his teeth and stared vacantly ahead. He absolutely had no intention of saying anything about that comment. He was sick of hearing it.

After a few more moments of silence Dumbledore went on, "Severus is your father and you know I've had hopes he'd embrace the role. In his own way, he has. Now, at our first disagreement, I can not say I wish it to be otherwise nor should I have the right to. The best I can hope for is that he will listen to my advice as he did in the case of what should take place today."

"You mean me being here?"

"Yes, at first he objected, but I gave him my reasons why and he conceded that it might be in your best interest to get this meeting over with before summers end."

Harry huffed. He felt the less said on the topic the better. There was something else he wanted addressed. "But the party…?"

"Persistent as always, it's not why I brought you here, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk about it. Your father does play a very dangerous role for the Order. He must put up certain appearances to fulfill that role and he now believes you are part of that."

"He told me."

"Did he? Good."

Dumbledore's manner was curt. Whether he would admit it or not, Harry felt the headmaster was a bit annoyed at him for his 'persistence' on this subject.

"You disagree with him though. Do you think I'd be in danger?"

"No." Dumbledore paused. Whatever was going through his head of his, there was a tough fight going on. "It's just that you must understand that for your father this is all already very personal. Those people are just as much his friends as his enemy. I've never… liked that fact, but Severus has never crossed the line in maintaining these friendships. It's never been easy for him, but for all his struggles, it has been beneficial to our cause many a time. Yet, I now question if it will become any easier for him if you become involved in that 'drama'."

Harry didn't know what to say. There was no level of this conversation he could grab onto. Dumbledore, for once, was admitting a lot, but everything he said was just making Harry feel very uncomfortable. Did Dumbledore think Snape was in danger of messing up? What was worse, his father sincerely being friends with people wanting to kill him or the fact Dumbledore thought Harry himself could cause that to be more likely fate? This all lead back to the weariness he was feeling about his father's past and still he wasn't sure how to deal with it yet.

"I know what you're thinking. It is a lot to handle, but I must say this. For many years, I have had no doubt in your father's loyalties to the Order, but now, even if there was ever a chance he could go back, that has all but vanished in his learning of his tie to you."

Harry grimaced skeptically. "Are you sure? I just might piss him off enough for him to give in."

Dumbledore gave him a faint smile. "I think you've already pushed his patience as far as it will ever go, Julian, so I think we're more than safe. _Now_, for the real reason we're here. As I said, I'm sorry I did not stop by your house as planned."

"It's nothing."

Dumbledore put his hand up. "No, it is… and as punishment I missed out on that piece of strawberry cake I asked Molly to save me."

Harry grinned. "It was good."

"There, I'm fully chastised." He sighed dramatically and lifted something off the side table. It was a long rectangular box. "The reason I wanted to see you, was to give you this." Dumbledore handed him a box, which was surprisingly heavy. "It was meant to be part of your birthday present, but I wanted to give it to you privately."

The box itself was a bit old and beaten, but Dumbledore had put a big Gryffindor red ribbon on it. Slipping the ribbon off, Harry glanced inside. It was full of pictures, the wizarding kind, wrapped in three bundles with some string. Gazing at the photos on top, Harry noticed they were all taken at Hogwarts.

"They are from the Hogwarts archives. I thought you might like copies of them."

Harry picked up the stack in the middle first. It was the most obvious for him to grab because he knew what they were. They were all pictures of him, Hermione and Ron over the last few years. Some of them had just one of the group included, but most were with of all three of them together. Most of the photos he didn't recall being taking, but that was not shocking. More often than not none of them were even looking at the camera. The pictures were of them talking, walking to class or sitting out on Hogwarts lawns. Harry even saw a few Quidditch photos thrown in. With some photos, he remembered the very moments they depicted, but with most they were vague. It could have been any day or time. Whatever moments they were showing were lost to him.

Picking up the next pile, Harry saw they were of his mother. For the most part they were of her and what Harry assumed were her friends. These pictures were distinct from the others in the fact they were clearly posed for. His mother and her friends were usually smiling brightly at the camera, their arms linked in a comradely manner. From the looks of things, Lily was just as popular as he had thought. The people in the pictures were always changing and of all houses, but one thing remained the same, they always looked like the best of friends. Only one photo stood out from the rest. In it, a young James Potter's head kept peeking out from some bushes behind the group of girls, who were laughing at his actions. Only his mother didn't look amused. It was funny, but this made Harry think. Where were James, Remus, Peter and Sirius in the rest of the photos? Surely, they had taken photos together in their seventh year, but the Marauders were strangely absent. Harry wondered if Dumbledore had left them out on purpose.

"Do you like them, Julian?" Dumbledore asked as he put this group pictures down.

"Yes," he said, though he truly wasn't sure what he thought.

Next his hand went to the last and smallest pile in the box, but upon seeing what they were, he let them drop. They were of Snape.

"They are the reason for this present," Dumbledore admitted. "I once gave you a gift of James' cloak. It was already yours of course, but I also wanted you to have something that could make you feel closer to him."

"And you think this will make me feel closer to Snape?"

"Perhaps not, but they are the only piece of him I could offer you."

Harry went to pick up the photos again, but changed his mind. Instead, he placed the other two piles back into the box and closed its lid.

"Thank you. It's a great gift."

Dumbledore gave Harry a sad smile. "I'm glad you like it."

"I'll look at the other photos some time, I promise, but just not right now."

"That's okay. You take your time." With that Dumbledore got up and went to the door. "All the Order should be here by now. It's time to start the meeting. You should go in and let Ron and Hermione get to know you again. If they try, they should see the real you. Everyone deserves a second chance."

**End of Chapter 16**


End file.
